Got Lucky Today 8) Whew!

“Took the dog up his favorite streambed today, as he likes to chase the rocks I skip across the water.

Well, today I picked up a large flat piece of rock and when I turned it over it had a large bees nest of the bottom. It was about 1-inch thick and as round as a softball, and the bees were wasp-like and had black and yellow rings around their ass-portions.

With a D'oh! I threw it down, took two steps then stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't move a muscle...thinking if I ran I'd get the crap stung out of me, but if I stood still I wouldn't get stung as much (what a consolation).

A bunch of those suckers buzzed around me, but wouldn't you know it, I didn't get stung...not once.

I booked from the area after about 20 seconds, though. I wasn't gonna give'em time to change their minds about letting me get off scott-free.”

“Okay, now we can add bees to the list of things you should not run away from if encountered on the trail. Good story Buddur.”

“Buddur, were they African?”

“Yellow jackets and they got a nasty temper too! Not as big as a red wasp, but pound for pound they pack a punch!”

“Last spring I crawled (backwards)down a bank and slipped into knee deep water to start my morning of fly fishing when all of a sudden I got hit on both sides of my head at the same time by yellow jackets. In the normal ceremonial dance that ensues, I knocked my glasses off, threw down my fly rod to mark the spot and jumped up and strolled across the top of the water for about 40 feet. I ducked down close to the water and waited until they all calmed down. Then I went back to look for my glasses (brand new pair of progressive lense bifocals with non-glare finish $280). I got down in the 55 degree water and crawled downstream feeling of the bottom for about 15 minutes before finally picking them up. (I should also mention that I was about 8 miles from the trailhead, and that without glasses I can't even see my shoelaces.) Anyway I was a good fishing trip.”

“I guess I`ll tell you this,.. it was told to me to be true. Seems a few old boys from school got together to go hunt rabbits and came up on a hornet`s nest half again bigger than a basketball.

Well being the jokers they were they get a stick and stuff a bandanna in the opening of the nest and then they cut it down. They know where an old outhouse is and they gather that up too, but then chicken out on their plans to haul it up on top of the schoolhouse.

One ol` boy lacking the smarts to know better and not having anything else much to do decides to go ahead and put `er up there by his-own-self.

Seems he tied up the hornet`s nest inside the outhouse and then he tied a string to the bandana and that to the door of the outhouse.

Well,... it was funny as all get outs the next day seeing that outhouse pearched up there,... the kids all loved it, but the teachers didn`t share the same view. I guess it has something to do with older eyes!

The head dude and the math teacher scurry up there to get `er down and wouldn`t you know it, they opend the door on the thing! I never saw two fat people run so fast in my life, but there wasn`t anywhere they could run to and no place to hide.

Yup, good times!”

“Big Foot, that sounds like a dirty thing to do to someone!”

“We were out fishing and squirrel hunting years ago. We found a huge wasp nest hanging over the water. I took my boat in for a closer look and cut the engine. My buddies in another boat came over. One of the guys in the other boat thought the appropriate action was to shoot the nest. Whamo the nest was gone, but the wasps were still there. I pulled on the motor and got nothing. At the instant the buzzing felt like it was inside my head the motor sparked and we took off.

What fun.”

“Buddur, how is your dog?”

“Now that was an awful long time ago and I was already into more trouble than I care to share with you here!

There were well over 500 kids in the upper three grades and I was the only kid they hauled out of class and up to the office. I didn`t fool them one bit either, I owned up to it and they took turns giving me licks and about the time they got done my dad showed up and took right in where they left off.

I did say I wasn`t that smart, didn`t I? If it makes you feel any better, I did learn something from that and I`ve never done anything else close to it. Had it been anyone else other than the two that went up there I would have opened up and told them about it first!

School is for learning, it`s sometimes strange how we learn the lessons and just who the teachers are!

That board of education smarted me up real good!”

“Now I`ve told you two stories and neither one is completely true.

I was the one that thought up the idea, I was the one that stuffed the rag into the hornet`s nest, I was the one that climbed the tree and cut it down too, I did help them go get the outhouse, but I didn`t go with them or have any part in putting it on top of the school!

Like I said, I was in so much trouble already I knew they`d look at me first. One of the boys came over the next morning and hauled me to school with him and he filled me in as to what they`d done. I was there and saw the whole show as it played out and I could have stoped it, but I didn`t.

I thought it was a lark when they came to get me out of class and marched me down to the office too. This time I could look them in the eyes and tell them I had nothing to do with putting that outhouse on the school, but it didn`t work out like that.

I got to thinking about it as soon as that door closed behind me and I knew I had a big part in it so, I took all of the blame. They knew me all to well in the office and had no problem believing I had worked alone so,... that was that.

Until now, I never told anyone any different, after all, I was to blame for it in the first place.

It took me a bit, but I learned from my mistakes. That was a hard teacher!”