mullet haikus

“MULLET HAIKUS
Shampoo stings my eyes, I will never feel that twice:
slick hair smells like gas.


O! SQUIRREL brother,
Your tail, my hair. We are one.
Yet I must eat you.


I liked that foreign
legion movie so much, I grew me one them hats

Brown edged tank top sticks
to my white clumpy armpits
Somehow I get laid.

Flowing down the back
helps to keep mind closed, hate released by short top

My hair is slammin
like Stone Cold. Can I get a Hell yeah? Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

This super cool hair
and a bucket of chicken:
What more could I want?


my slick snakeskin boots my silk shirt with rooster prints
always colored jeans

Lynnrd Skynnrd didn't
win no spelling bees. Who cares?
They rock the trailer.


Razor set to one.
Do front and sides and then stop
Reaffirm my style.


Metallica is
for first graders. Nothing rocks
harder than Winger.

Dogs urinate where they so choose. And so do I.
Red and blue lights flash.

Teen runaway, I hate my dad. Yet I am one.

Fly, thunderbird, fly. Ponytails are for wimps.
But if you let that hair loose,
you are my brother.


New white tank top tucks
neatly into tight black jeans:
redneck romeo.

Short like your schooling.
Long like your prison sentence.
The penal haircut.

Bald on the top and
long on the back. Behold my glorious skullet.


You smoke me up and jerk me off. You are the best,
and I love you, sis.


My mullet and me
like to climb up a tree. We're the best friends that could be.

Dad likes my mullet.
The nurse calls it a critter carpet. My head breeds.

With long hair in place
how else can I rebel? Hand me the bong uncle.


Under the Christmas tree: tight black jeans and a comb.
I've been extra good!

Short for dad. Long for the daughter mom always wanted.
Everyone's happy.


One day I will dip
and race cars. Until then I ride my bike, chew gum.”

“ROTFLMAO, hyper!

There once was a man with a mullet
Who dared his best friend just to pullit.
His friend gave it a yank,
Heard a noise that soon stank,
Found you can't duck a fart like a bullet.”

“he he

what is up with guys and their hair?”

“I'm dyin' here...


(I thought 'M' was for 'mudflaps')

Oy vey.”

“wind through the mullet
and front seat six pack will wait
Trans Am up on blocks”

“must have clear vision
protect the neck from sunburn
mullet is the Way”

“What Zactly is a Mullet?”

“I don't know, but kleetn has a magnificent one ?? If this helps”

“Its a fish or a hair style.”

“I don't think I wanna see his mullet.”

“A hair style?”

“So is a mullet just long hair?”

“Do I have a Mullet hairdo?”

“I think its when it is short in front but long in back..The haircut my kids call a mullet is when it is pulled tight in a pony tail, and close cut on sides.

From another Mullet site

"
YOU TOO CAN BE A MULLETHEAD

Just grow your hair for eight months, go to Supercuts, and ask for the Billy Ray Cyrus "”

“I think your heavy metal band haircut might qualify.”

“I think Mullet and hairdo are redundant

If ya got long hair, you may have a mullet

depends on if you use gel”

“Ponytails are for wimps?”

“So that means it's cool to have a mullet!?!
Mullets Rule!!!!”

“We seem to have no picture of Dunadan, but I believe he must have a Mullet.”

“Business in the front, party in the back. That is a mullet.”

“walkindude,

you DEFINATELY have a mullet!

party on, wayne!

party on, garth!”

“I always though Wayne had fine hair

but a mullet? now that is way sexy”

“can i hang out at your trailer, biz?”

“'dude this is a mullet.....




......yes, party on Garth!”

“no rad- wait yer turn”

“what gives...... dagnabit, "NO SOUP FOR YOU",

”

“Rad, i don't see what the big deal is about living in a trailer, really.

When my neighbors piss me off, I move- the whole house

lotta advantages to Trailer Court living, right Aero?”

“hey, who's the cute guy with the guitar?”

“I went to a Demolition Derby last Saturday in southern Maryland.
About 25 of us took the "Drunk Bus" from Baltimore.

WOW!!!
There wuz quite a few mullets there.
Teenage moms and dads.
Kentucky Fried Chicken-eatin' mutha-phukas too
Anyone for Fried Dough?”

“mullet camping trip
bring old couch and five cases
"love nature? hell yeah!"”

“Beer cans so pretty
decorating wilderness
in a special way”

“Crazy mike must have... err...


Anyway, so now you're WRITING haiku?”

“Don't say it Phaedrus...don't say it!

Okay, I've got a whole page of mullet haiku courtesy of Tilt, and I'm warning you, I know how to use it!”

“Get my beer, woman!
Now hop in my camaro.
We're goin' campin'.”

“Business in front
Mullet is good any time
Party in the back”

“ROFLMAO @ Doomadan!”

“Sad year for mullets
GM ceased Camaro and
no more Firebird”

“Mullet in new car?
Spent all cash on rebel flag
Camaro on blocks”

“Wild Turkey and Beer
The richest man in my clan
Uncle Bob, flat drunk.”

“Typical mullet
The trailer has no plumbing
Satellite dish is broken”

“Love for a mullet
For many is so strong that
Nothing can dull it”

“super mullet man
hero of beer drinking gals
who dream of trailers”

“On top in the brush
Critters crawlin' through the flakes
The trailer is down the back”

“lmao, haiku sucks!”

“that should read, "Trailer is in back"”

“naked in repose
silvery silhouette girls
adorn my mudflaps”

“Chromium smoke stacks
Flipper flaps chatter and klink
Little Red Wagon”

“sixty-five dollars
and cyclone fence keeps me from
my el camino”