I Miss Dr. Laura

“Where is Dr. Laura through all this???”

“You can see her face in the smoke form the WTC.”

“Her lips formed a sly sort of smile as she turned the water on for her bath. The drops playing on her fingers as she tested their heat. Reaching slowly for the top button of her blouse, her fingers deftly undid the buttons and slid the blouse off, laying it on the chair. Reaching behind she undid the hooks of her bra, let the straps fall down her shoulders and off of her arms. She laid it on the chair. She undid the button then the zipper on her skirt and hooking her fingers in the waistband, slid it off her hips. She folded it across the chair then she sat down on the edge of the chair and unhooked the garters on her stockings and began to roll them one at a time down her legs. She stood, then unhooked the garter belt, then hooked her fingers in the waist of the lacy black thong. Took it slowly over her hips and stepped out of it as it reached her ankles. Standing naked she looked at her reflection in the mirror on the door. Her hands grazed over her body as she thought of his strong hands. "Damn," she thought, "better wax that bikini line!" Her nipples hardened as she touched them. A shiver ran through her.

I miss you, too, ba$tards!

1-800-DRLAURA”

“See what you've done?”

“She writes alot like Gentle Ben.”

“where has HE been anyways. That sh!t definitely came from a guy. no woman........ah phewee anywho”

“dude, ya gotta warn us office worker types of that kind of link...lest we wind up with bad economy”

“sirpete, I don't want to say she sounded like your sister, but...”

“Dr Laura
That was Talent!!
Do you think you could maybe rewrite it in the setting of a trail shelter or something?
Thanks.

WD”

“Thanks steve, I opened that at work and just about soiled myself! I hope I don't get questioned for that one.”

“She had some talent posing for the camera too. Those are the acutal, real pics her professor took of her when she was younger and sleeping with him.”

“She sued him for releasing the pics and tried to get a restraining order, but the judge ruled they were in the public domain and refused.”

“LOL. does she talk to you that way Bacpac?

EEEEEWWWWWWwuuuu. you guys are doing it again aren't ya?”

“WD- you are a sick pup”

“Whew...for a week there, I thought she went down with the Towers. Glad u r still kicking.”

“hey cutie, what's up?”

“In the beginning was the wasteland of Trail Talk. And it was shapeless and void. Many were the pretenders who claimeth to be rugged outdoorsmen and women, and long didst they wandereth in search of the mythic perfect hike. For yea, many were number that wouldst do ought but read and not go verrily into the great outdoors. And lo, didst we smite them from our midst, and splattereth many foul electrons upon the virtual terrain. For verrily wert we "holier than thou." But alas, learneth we every last trick of backpacking, and no challenge provideth they. And cryeth we out in despair! And buyeth we every doodad and thingamajig, even the craven "The North Face Mountain Guide Parka" and the base "Marmot 15° Sawtooth 600 Fill Goose Down Mummy Bag". And much was the wailing and gnashing of teeth, for lo, didst we covet thy neighbor's "Gregory Denali Pro". And verily, didst the threads deteriorate into politics, talking dogs, blasphemous haloween names and partisan bickering.

Bàstards!”

“Oh Dr. Laura, just hush up and go submit to your husband!”

“Hey Dr laura, are you worried at all about the obvious threat to your business by Orenthal Bear? He seems to have the market cornered on good advice. How will you make a living when they frog-march your butt off the air, sweetie?”

“Great to see someone post again with some Character. This place has missed you.”

“you must be the one with the rubber duck.”

“Imagine the possiblities if this site had Dr. Laura, Tilt, Violin, Tarp Rat and solitary hiker. It would be the coolest.”

“Oh, and little kleetn, too.”

“Dear Doctor(of what?) Laura-

How are you coping with the growth of un-wanted facial hair?

I have had to deal with facial hair for a long time and could give advice.”