Matt, help me. I can't log in to TT tod ay

“I know we tryed to resolve this problem before but I still can log on to TT today. I reformated today in hope of fixing the problem but I still can log on. This sucks. Refreshing and cleaning cookies doesn't help.”

“I am a little lost about what your problem could be. The login methods are the same for both pages and I haven't changed anything lately. TT Today does cache alot though. When you refresh, are you holding down "shift" and clicking refresh? That will force your browser to get a new copy of the webpage.”

“Tea, Try Ctrl/Alt/Del”

“Have you loaded Windows XP©? Here's some handy tips...

Congratulations on your purchase of Windows XP©, the latest version of the world's #1 computer operating system from Microsoft. Before using your new software, please take the time to read these instructions carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty.

Windows XP© represents a significant technological improvement over Microsoft's previous operating system, Windows 2000©. You'll notice immediately that "XP" is not a number, like "95" "98" or "2000". But that's not all. Windows XP© contains many features not found in Windows 2000©, or in any competing computer operating system, if there were any. Among the improvements: faster storing and retrieving of files (not in all models), enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality, smoother handling, less knocking and pinging, an easy-to-follow 720-page User's Guide, and rugged weather-resistant shrink wrap around the box. Most important, Windows XP© offers superior compatibility with all existing Microsoft products. We're betting that you'll never use another company's software again.

Windows XP© comes factory-loaded with the latest version of Microsoft Explorer, the world's most popular Internet browser. And despite what you may have heard from the U.S. Department of Justice, Windows XP© offers you the freedom to select the Internet browser of your choice, whether it's the one produced by the world's largest and most trusted software producer, or by a smaller company that will either go out of business or become part of the Microsoft family.

Configuring Windows XP© to use a browser other than Microsoft Explorer is easy. Simply open the "Options" folder, click on the "time bomb" icon, and select "Load Inferior Browser." A dialog box will ask "Are you sure?" Click "yes." This question may be asked several more times in different ways; just keep clicking "yes." Eventually, the time-bomb icon will enlarge to fill the entire screen, signifying that the browser is being loaded. You'll know the browser is fully loaded when the fuse on the time bomb "runs out" and the screen "explodes." If at any time after installation you become disappointed with the slow speed and frequent data loss associated with other browsers, simply tap the space bar on your keyboard. Microsoft Explorer will automatically be permanently re-installed.

Windows XP© also corrects, for the first time anywhere, the "Year 3000" computer problem. As you may know, most computers store the current year as a two-digit number and, as a result, many will mistake the year 3000 for 2900. Windows XP© solves the problem by storing the year as a four-digit number and, in theory, you won't have to upgrade this part of the operating system until the year 10000. However, the extra memory required to record the year in four digits has prompted a few minor changes in the software's internal calendar. Henceforth, Saturday and Sunday will be stored as single day, known as "Satsun," and the month of June will be replaced by two 15-day months called "Bill" and "Melissa."

Please also take the time to complete the online registration form. It only takes a few minutes and will help us identify the key software problems our customers want addressed. Be assured that none of the information you provide, whether it's your Social Security number, bank records, fingerprints, retina scan or sexual history, will be shared with any outside company not already designated as a Microsoft DataShare partner.

We've done our best to make using Windows XP© as trouble-free as possible. We want to hear from you if you're having any problems at all with your software. Simply call our toll-free Helpline and follow the recorded instructions carefully. (The Helpline is open every day but Satsun, and is closed for the entire month of Bill.)

If we don't hear from you, we'll assume your software is working perfectly, and an electronic message to that effect will be forwarded to the Justice Department. We'll also send, in your name, a letter to the editor of your hometown newspaper, reminding him or her that American consumers want software designed by companies that are free to innovate, not by government bureaucrats.

Again, thanks for choosing Windows XP©!”

“Nice copy and past there kleetn. BTW wheres your squirrle?”

“Try restarting in DOS and type this at the command prompt:

DELTREE ...

Oh, never mind!”

“16”

“I've been having trouble on my home computer - i'm at school now, i'm not sure what's going on. I log in - and it seems to work except for the fact that i'm not logged in. So i click on log in again, or try logging in at the bottom of a thread, and i'm still not logged in?? I haven't changed anything on my computer, i don't think, so what's going on??”

“here I will give you step by step instructions-

1) find a gun, anygun so long as it shoots

2) aim at computer screen

3) fire (try to hit the target, even if you have to aim at point blank

4) set the gun down. Dont drop it.

5) unplug the computer

6) walk to window, open it wide

7) go back to computer

8) pick up various computer parts

9) fling each one out the window

10) listen for each "crash" sound and if your lucky it will land on someone.

11)Go out and buy a newer, faster, beter puter.”

“Ok... sounds like a good plan to me. Only if i could afford it, my computer is a POS, the thing is like 5 years old, slow as hell...”

“one more step then-

12) collect beer cans and bottles and recycle for the money :)”

“I think the title for those instructions should be something like...

"Elvis Tech Support"”

“simer,
make sure that your browser "Cookies" are turned on. You can find those under your browser preferences. That is what remembers that you are logged in.”

“still having trouble... I messed with cookies and everything else i could think of in internet options, nothing i tried worked... i still can't log in. I'm back at school now - why can't I log in???”

“Well, simer, according to Alaska and Ohio Hiker, it is a religous conspriacy brought on by prayer groups organized at the White House.

I suggest you send $10 to the Rush Limbaugh defense fund if you want off the #&%!$ list.”

“Well, simer, according to Alaska and Ohio Hiker, it is a religous conspriacy brought on by prayer groups organized at the White House.

I suggest you send $10 to the Rush Limbaugh defense fund if you want off the #&%!$ list.”

“oops,,,there is an echo in here.”

“I would like to be able to log into my account at home... why can't I?? Is there anything else i can try? It's really starting to get annoying...”

“Did you try deleting your TT cookie and starting over again? Is your home machine a Mac?”

“haven't tried that... i did notice that when i started having trouble all of my cookies were messed up somehow... i'm not quite sure what was going on, but that might be it - it was like all my cookies were reset, but they were still there, just not active.”

“simer,
also check the date on your computer. Sometimes if the date isn't correct that will mess things up.”

“i bet that's it... thanks, i fixed it last night, but I was using my computer calendar to check out some dates for a friend and messed it up. thanx”

“Them cookie crumbs will kill ya every time - quit eating them while ya post....”