Streak against terror

“I received the following email from a Patriotic friend.
>
> The President has asked that we unite for a common cause.
>
> Since the hard-line Fundamentalist Moslems cannot stand
> nudity, and consider it a
> sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife,
> On October 1st at 7:00, all patriotic women
> should run out of their houses naked to show their opposition to terrorism and to flush out any hard line fundamentalist terrorists in their neighborhoods.
>
> The United States appreciates your efforts, and
> applauds you. God Bless
> America.
>
> P.S. I like this a lot better than the candles”

“You mean I was supposed to wait 'till tomorrow night to do that? Oops, sorry, my mistake ¦)”

“Do it again Sklukaz...I missed ya yesterday night. hee hee”

“Well I was out early with my camera and telephoto. Was that 7:00 a.m. or p.m.?”

“sheesh, I had to jog around the block this morning in order for it to be effective, out here in the boonies. hehehe

I don't know iffin I got to any "hard line fundamental terrorists" but I do believe I caused some extra complications in the daily commuter clusterfu#k!

err uhh..was that s'pose ta be 7 PM?? oops

;o)”

“Sounds good, but there is a problem.

Don't the news reports say that quite a few of the suspected terrorists did/do have a habit of hanging out in topless bars?”

“Wow, 7PM tonight I'll be at a troop comittee meeting. Well, I guess the guys had better Be Prepared !”

“Tom Lehrer strikes from afar!



"Be Prepared"

You know, of all the songs I have ever sung, that is the one I've had the
most requests not to.
I have time for one more here. This one is a little song dedicated to the
Boy Scouts of America. [applause] We seem to have a convention here
tonight. The Boy Scouts of America, those noble little bastions of democracy,
and the American Legion of tomorrow. Their motto is...
I would like to state at this time that I am not now and have never been...
a member of the Boy Scouts of America.
Their motto is, as you know, "Be Prepared!" and that is the name of this
song.

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' marching song,
Be prepared! As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well.
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.

Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes.
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure that they will not be found,
And be careful not to smoke them when the scoutmaster's around,
For he only will insist that they be shared, be prepared!

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed,
Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Be prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared. Be prepared!


ALSO...”

“Actually not only does the email not specify AM or PM it doesn't specify the time zone. Just to be safe, I suggest Patriotic women run about nekkid all day.”

“That's great Tilt! To what tune would that be sung?




stanlee, maybe you didn't look hard enough. If you look harder this time, maybe you won't miss out.”

“Hmmmm... I'm running it over in my mind and I think the tune may be original, sooo I can't just tell you how it goes! durn.

Re: stanlee's problem:
As the saying goes, "Can I just do it 'til I need glasses?"”

“Well, maybe on one of these group hikes you'll play it for us?”

“I'll do it acapulco.”

“Believe me Sklukaz, I'm hard core.”

“ARTIST: Ray Stevens
TITLE: The Streak


Reporter
Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter with all the news
that is news across the nation, on the scene at the supermarket. There
seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir, did you see
what happened?

Witness
Yeah, I did. I's standin' overe there by the tomaters, and here he
come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables,
nekkid as a jay bird. And I hollered over t' Ethel, I said, "Don't
look, Ethel!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed.

Chorus
Here he comes, look at that, look at that
There he goes, look at that, look at that
And he ain't wearin' no clothes

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
Fastest thing on two feet
Look at that, look at that
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He goin' give us a peek

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
He likes to show off his physique
Look at that, look at that
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique

Reporter
This is your action news reporter once again, and we're here at the gas
station. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

Witness
Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin my car checked, he just appeared
out of the traffic. Come streakin' around the grease rack there, didn't
have nothin' on but a smile. I looked in there, and Ethel was gettin'
her a cold drink. I hollered, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too
late. She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of
the shock absorbers.

Chorus
He ain't crude, look at that, look at that
He ain't lewd, look at that, look at that
He's just in the mood to run in the nude

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
Look at that, look at that
He likes to turn the other cheek
Look at that, look at that
He's always makin' the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique

Reporter
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym, covering
the disturbance at the basketball playoff. Pardon me, sir, did you see
what happened?

Witness
Yeah, I did. Half time, I's just goin' down thar to get Ethel a snow
cone. And here he come, right out of the cheap seats, dribbling, right
down the middle of the court. Didn't have on nothing but his head.
Made a hook shot and got out through the concessions. And I hollered up
at Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late. She'd
already got a free shot. Grandstandin', right there in front of the
home team.

Chorus Witness
Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Here he comes again.
Look at that, look at that Who's that with him?
The fastest thing on two feet Ethel? Is that you, Ethel?
Look at that, look at that What do you think you're
He's just as proud as he can be doin'? You git your
Of his anatomy clothes on!
He's gonna give us a peek

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak Ethel! Where you goin'?
Look at that, look at that Ethel, you shameless
He likes to show off his physique hussy! Say it isn't so,
Look at that, look at that Ethel! Ethelllllll!!!
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique”

“WW.... FYI”

“I see , I see... I did a search but the title was different.”

“Ahab, the Arab

Ray Stevens

(intro: Arabian flute)

Let me tell you about Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burning sand

He had emeralds and rubies just drippin' off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his haaannnd

He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And, every evenin', about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde,
and ride....

[Spoken] Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he would
secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils,
swingingest grade "A" number one US choice dancer in the sultan's whole harem, 'cause,
heh,
him and her had
a thing goin', you know?

And they'd been carryin' on for some time now behind the sultan's back

And you could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes...

His voice would cut through the still night desert air...

And he'd say (imitate Arabic speech and finish with
"Sold! American!"...

which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde! Stop!"

And Clyde'd say,

"Muuuggghhhhhhh"

"Muuggghhhhhhhhhh"...

which is camel for,
"What the heck did he say anyway?"

Well, he brought that camel to a screechin' halt
(verbal screeching sound)....

at the rear of Fatima's tent

Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner
and into the tent he went.

There he saw Fatima...

layin' on a zebra skin rug with

[Spoken in falsetto and possibly with female backups]

"Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes and a bone in her nose ho, ho."

[Spoken]:

There she was, friends, lyin' there
in all her raaadient beauty, eating on a raisin, a grape, an apricot, ana pomegranate,
bowl of chittlin's, two bananas, three Hershey bars, and sipping on a RC co-cola listenin' to her transistor radio, watchin' the Grand Ole Opry on the tube, readin' a Mad magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose
it's flavor?"

Yeah!
Ahab walked up to her and he say,
(imitate Arabic speech), which is Arabic for:

"Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby.!!"

Ha, ha, ha!!
You know what I mean! Whew!

She looked up at him from off the rug,
give him one of the sly looks, and
She said...

(suggestive giggles, then outright laughter)

"Crazy, crazy, crazy baby!"

Chorus:
'round and around and around and around, and around and around and around)


Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab the ArabThe sheik of the burnin' sand

Ahab the Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sand..

fade out....”

“Ahhh...Mel, you old-timer, you!”

“Mel, Mel! I had a Goofy Greats album when I was little and that song was on it! I had totally forgotten about that. Hehehehe”