Outdoor Hints from Heloise!

“Phil, I do the bleach bottle thing too,I lovingly refer to it as "my tub". I fit my into the bottom of a stuff sack then fill it up with my food. Helps things stay uncrushed. When I'm in the mood for a bath alittle hot water and a little cold water and ahhhh fresh as daisy.”

“Carry a bandana and you'll find that it has a lot of different uses (didn't we have a whole thread on this?). It can be used as a neck, head, or hand kerchief; to dry pots and pans; an arm sling; emergency bandage or tourniquet; headband; wash rag; pot holder; dust mask; and lotso other stuff you can come up with. You can even blow your nose into it.”

“You can blow your nose into it and then dry your pots with it. Then heat your pot to a high temperature and poof! No germs. Eeewww!”

“Squeeze burdock stems and rub the juice on stinging nettle stings. Immediately gets rid of the sting and rash.

When hanging a tarp on a line, a-frame style, and staking out the edges, use a few plastic(lighter weight) clothes pins to keep the tarp taut on the line.”

“You need not pack much (none!) food if you're up for midnight raids of your neighbor's food bags. Be reeel quiet tho - you don't want to wake them (they get rather pi$$ed).

If they do awaken, make growling and snorting noises - that will keep them quivering in their tent until you can make a clean getaway.”

“Sunglasses, in addition to protecting your eyes, can also prevent you from geting caught "lookin at her bum".”

“Or their tent, for that matter.

When they're away on a dayhike, grab their stuff.


If you decide to follow my suggestions, and you get busted, just tell them your name is Chip (even if you're a girl) - they'll be much more understanding.
do:”

“LOL gojo, how'd you know I do that?

Really cuts down on pack weight!”

“BTW Le Subtil, that works in reverse ya know.”

“With some practice, you can get four wipes...one on each corner of the square.

And always from front to back.”

“Got a nylon tarp that's lost its waterproofing? Give it a couple coats of deck sealer.”

“You funny Budder”

“Your underware is good for four days-inside-outside-frontwards-backwards.”

“Want some weather advice?
The air temp will not fall below the dew point, so if dew is already forming, the air is the coldest it will get.

If you are experienceing southerly winds and notice a line of clouds to your west, then be prepaired for a cold front to pass. You will get rain and maybe some thunder storms. You can tell when the front passes due to the shift in the winds to a northerly direction. After the front passes, expest cooler but clear weather.

Lots of dew in warm summer mornings means that the air is saturated with moisture. Be prepaired for pop up thunderstorms especialy if in the mountains.

If you are caught in an electrical storm without cover, minimize contact with the ground and make sure you are niether the tallest obeject or ou are near the tallest object. Lightning will travel through roots and will jump from trees to hit you. If you fell your hair standing up or hear a popping sound, dive away from your position and hit the ground as fast as you can. Once down roll away from where you were and curl up into a ball balanced on the balls of your feet. What you felt were the effects of the induction field. By diving and hitting the ground, you attempt to dissipate the charge flow and break the connection between you and the cloud.”

“Don't go hiking with anyone from TT. They are all weirdo alien freakazoids”

“To build a fire under wet or damp conditions:

Gather wood that is suspended among tree limbs (falls that have been caught by lower limbs). Or, break DEAD limbs from trees - be sure to break them clean at the trunk (for asthetic reasons). Wood that is on the ground will be soggy, but the suspended wood will at least be somewhat air-dried.

Wet kindling WILL ignite, by gosh.
Stack the kindling atop your stove - as much as possible - and use the gas fire to ignite it. No need for tender - that's what the gas is for. Once the kindling is ablaze, turn off the gas and dump the burning kindling into the fire pit. Immediately pile the burning kindling and place small sticks over the fire.

Ummmmm... toasty!”

“Fritos make a passable firestarter.”

“Farm fresh eggs will keep for a looooong time without refrigeration. You can check the freshness of eggs by placing them in a bowl of water. The deeper they sink, the fresher they are. Toss (at passing mountainbikers) any eggs that float to the top.”

“kleetn you rascal! We should have quail eggs soon...:o)”

“Minimize the use of fires. In the past, building a huge "white man's" bonfire was acceptable. Aside from the fact that it's illegal in a lot of backcountry areas now, it's uncool to risk starting a wildfire...or to deny soils and animals the decomposing timber they need for regeneration and shelter.

If you have to build a fire, use pre-existing fire rings (don't create a new ring). Don't remove deadwood from a living tree and don't be an idiot and chop on a live one for firewood. Build a small fire on as non-porous a surface as possible, extinguish it completely (until you can put your hand on it) then broadcast the ashes.”

“Don't spit into the wind.”

“Ooops, we didn't broadcast the ashes. Next time.”

“Remove coffee grounds from a rainfly or hiking partner's clothing with a little ice cold spring water. Remember to dab, not rub!”

“LOL sklukaz!”

“Don't tug on Superman's cape!”

“You don't spit into the wind, do you Buddur?”

“Try rolling fresh eggs in vaseline (if you bring fresh eggs backpacking ?). It's an old sailor's trick and will prevent air from getting in to rot the eggs.”

“So where do you keep yer eggs, Mr.Gremlin?”

“In the vaseline jar, silly.”

“If you boil eggs for just about 7 - 10 seconds it's long enough to form a protective barrier on the inside of the shell, preventing bacteria from entering. They will last for days & days wo refrigeration.”

“To achieve optimin boil time...
-use a lid on the pot,
-use (or blacken) a black pot,
-use a full-coverage windscreen, side and top.”

“Couscous is a little known but great backpacking food. It's light, filling, cooks faster than rice or pasta and has more protein than either.

For dinner, bring 1 cup per day for two people, and throw in beef jerky, dried tomatoes and dried chilies to spice it up. Fast, cheap, easy, light and tastes good.”

“Kleetn, I like the couscous for backpacking, but about the protein. Why would it have more than pasta? I thought it WAS really tiny pasta.”

“I mix 1/3 - 1/2 cup cous-cous with one of those microwave black bean cup o soup things for a good, filling, cheap dinner.”

“Couscous is granular semolina - a coarsely ground durum wheat. And it's the national dish of Tunisia!”

“Put ever thing in baggits befor you put it in yer pakpak. That way ever thing will not get wet when you swim cross creeks cept some things that are ok to get wet like yer bole or watter pumper that are ok wet.”

“Dog: the other white meat.”

“I like to make a "stew" of;
Lipton-type chicken soup
Canned chicken
Cous-cous
Carrots
Boil the soup for afew minutes, add thinly sliced carrots(the baby carrots are good, no waste there), add the canned chicken and lastly add enough cous-cous so as not to totally dry up the soup.
Bring this to a boil and allow it to sit for five or ten minutes.”

“I carry several of the plastic grocery bags.
I use a couple for trash and two for my boots at night.
A bag for each boot keeps the boots from getting things in the tent wet or dirty.

In years past I would put my boots in my inside-out stuff-sack.
Inside-out to keep boot wax from the sleeping bag.”

“If you get to camp late and others have already hung bear bags, you can slack pack by attaching your food bag to their rope. Be sure to bring your own 'biner.”

“When you are walkin in the woods, do not doodoo on the dert.
Doodoo on the leafs.
If you doodoo on the dert, ever buddy will yell and cry.

It is ok to pee on the dert tho.”

“PLEASE,CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO GET THAT NASTY PLASTIC TASTE OUT OF MY CAMELBAK. I'VE TRIED BAKING SODA ,BOILING HOT WATER ,GATORAID AND EVEN VODKA BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO MAKE THE WATER TASTE AS GOOD AS MY OLD PLATYPUS (THAT MY SON LOST).PLEASE HELP.”

“Try and soak it in a weak bleach solution. If that doesn't work take your son's weekly alowance and buy the Platy. 8)”

“buy a platypus”

“According to a study in the 1990s, Seattle is second only to Los Angeles when it comes to the nation's worst traffic. If you have a choice, avoid the freeways after 3 pm because chances are that traffic is at a standstill. Keep in mind that the average commuting speed in Seattle is 22mph; it's going to take a while to get where you're going.”

“Lemon Juice Concentrate”

“An overnight vinegar soak works for most smells and 'flavors' but I don't think vinyl is one of them. You could try it, though. I don't think it would hurt.”

“Please do not EVER use an umbrella in a rainstorm - particularly if you are on mountainous terrain. Sheesh!”

“Pick yer butt with your left hand and your nose with your right.

Or is that... Oh, who cares!”

“Preperation H is also used as a fish attractant. so if your ever lost in the backcountry without food stick a small peice of cloth (bright colors are best) on a hook and add some prep H and catch yourself some dinner. hows that for multi functional gear?!
Streamweaver”