Outdoor Hints from Heloise!

“WD-40 sprayed on the proper lure attracts silver salmon.”

“A little MD 20-20 behind each ear will attract certain women.

Oh, Melsie!...”

“i hate it when my legs rub togethor all day long and get a big fat rash on my thighs and wake up the next day and have to walk like i got a load in my pants”

“NEVER walk on an icy surface, or any other very slippery surface, with your hands in your pockets.

In other words... ALWAYS leave your hands when walking on icy surfaces, so you can use them to break your fall when you slip and end up on yer butt.”

“Mmmmmmm...that's "ALWAYS leave your hands free when..."

(I've been slacking on proofreading lately.)”

“Why not use an umbrella on a mountainside? Is it because of a the risk of lightening strike? You dont like seeing umbrellas on mountainsides? You dont like umbrellas? You dont like Mary Poppins? You dont like Julie Andrews? You dont like The Sound Of Music? Gotcha! Your a Nazi Sympathizer!







Just Joking!

I also would not recommend using an umbrella during an electrical storm. As with most of this info, it is assumed an element of common sense will be used.”

“Don't pee on an electric fence unless your balls are grounded.

=80”

“Oh!! Buddur--that got a belly laugh from me :)”