Survival - Africa

“Ok, I know we can have some fun with this. some of us watch Survival - Africa?

I was sitting there wondering.. why do they always do the bow/friction method? Is it cos it makes for fun TV?.. why doesn't SOMEONE whup out a magnesium fire starter and put an end to this mess? They all get one luxury item right?.. gEeEz.. out of the TEN essential survival items, I know they could all manage to bring one.

And what about that nasty water supply?.. gEeez I would at least bring me some halzone and a bandanna.. I would luv to see one of them whup out a MSR/PUR etc water filter!”

“You would think that they would be smarter. It seems that they always act without thinking. The first show of the last series had similar shanigins. Remember whats her face bangin' on that bongo while "Riceman" was trying to make fire. That's a great TV monent.

That fire segment was the only part I watched last night. What a bunch a dumb a$$es. It took'em two days to just look through the stuff that they were given to see if there was anything in there to help make fire! That's the first thing I would have done. Then the comment "Don't pass out, man! Don't breath the smoke".

GGGGGEEEEZZZZZZZZ.”

“I was thinkin' exactly the same thing. Definitely luxury item by 'Pur'. They probably wouldn't allow it.”

“yup.. when the idiot was sitting downwind of the smoke?.. I was like.. get up.. move!

I would luv to put together a dream team of TT'ers and go smoke everyone's butt.. some of them have obviously never done much at all outdoors..

I luved the chick who was bitching cos she wasn't to just get to know everyone.. and didn't like being rushed to find wood, make fire.. etc.. I was like.. chick!.. get your priorities straight..”

“No they won't allow it. You would have to pick something that wasn't obvious.

Best luxury item of all time. The biga$$ nylon flag of Texas to use as shelter.”

“My favorite character is the "goat herder" from Virginia in his bib overalls. What a riot he will be in the coming weeks. I especially like his chastisement of Clarence for eating the beans without the rest of the tribe. And his "Next time we shake hands it will be my way, not yours."

I reall miss Jenna from the last series. So far no babes have come to the surface that equal her. Hey, if not for sex appeal, half us fans wouldn't be watching it anyway!”

“Survival is the babewatch of the TT crowd.”

“My personal favorite was them dumping half the water in the beginning so they wouldn't have to carry it.”

“It is almost like watching the KEYSTONE cops of the outdoors world.”

“So far this one seems more survival orriented than the other two to me. Seems like they have it a little harder. They are a bunch of raving idiots! If I ever tried out for surviver I'd go into the interview wearing eyeglasses and keep 'em for the show! Seems like they'd probably of had some sort of petrolium product in their first aid kit too, might of helped them start their fire easier.”

“Another one that got me.. when they werre reaching to the beach.. and the team in front KEPT falling down?.. the bunch in back could have PASSED them like four times..

I wanted to see a referee come out and throw the flag: "forward progress interference, forfeiture of fire!"”

“How about that water supply tho, was that not the MUCKIEST crap you have ever seen?.. gawd you know giardia was SWIMMING all thru that crud.”

“Those people have got to be absolute idiots. How many residents of the Kenyan backcountry run around in skin-tight shorts and tube tops or tank tops? NONE! They know they'll get the sh!t burnt outta them or gouged by the brambles, so they stay covered up. HELLLLLOOOOOO?”

“If they used TT'ers on the show it would be exceedingly boring. We'd get to camp, build a fire, cook dinner, go to bed. Then, they'd get up early the next day and hike. The sexiest thing we'd be wearing would be some green cargo shorts with baggy butts. We would actually survive, however!”

“Yep Aero, you got it. Survival shows wouldn't be too popular if you expected the contestants to survive.”

“Maybe we could throw in some hungry grizzly bears!”

“Remember when folks used to pick apart various shows.. ?.. same day, different shirt, all that?..

We should start a contest to see how many things we can find in the survival show that is obviously TT foopah..

of course.. then we would have to WATCH it.. hMmm.. hope those girls find something cute to wear, or it is gonna to be pretty boring.”

“SAMBURU TRIBE

BRANDON......chapstick

CARL.....Toothbrush and Toothpaste

FRANK.....Set of Whitetail Antlers

KIM P......String Necklace

LINDA.....Aromatherapy

LINDSEY.....Beach Ball

SILAS.....His Pillow

TERESA.....Lucky Bullet Necklace




BORAN TRIBE

CLARENCE.....Army/Camouflage Paints

DIANE.....Journal and Pen

ETHAN.....Hacky Sack

JESSIE.....Necklace from Grandmother

KELLY.....Crochet Needles and Yarn

KIM J......Paints and Brush

LEX.....His Son's Baby Hi-Tops

TOM.....Lucky Charm”

“Ok I am lost.. is there an EXEMPTION list of what you CAN'T bring for a luxury item?”

“Ever notice they always turn on the guy with the most skills? Would it be wrong to vote people out based on how stupid their luxury item was?

This show is fun to watch. They have been progressivly been getting more "survival"-like. The first one looked more like newbies going camping, now, at least there is some possibility of danger.”

“yes TD, you cannot bring anything that would be obviously helpful, like iodine or matches or food.”

“Yetch...

These gals look like real survivors. What happened to the silicon breasts and cute buns??”

“"Would it be wrong to vote people out based on how stupid their luxury item was?"

Sounds like a plan to me.. so what is Frank supposed to do with his whitetail antlers? Pick his teeth?

As for possibility of danger.. don't guess we will get to see a lion attack.. what was the name of that movie with the lion attacks?.. ghost and the wind or some stuff?”

“I agree. You'd figure that after two seasons, people would have more brains.

Do you think that the producers intentionally pick dumb people?”

“TownDawg, That movie was based on a true story. Two maneless male lions ate a whole lotta people while the railroad was being built way back when. Took monthes to kill them. They were huge. The English officer who killed them had rugs made of their pelts. The Chicago field museum bought the rugs and turned them into full mounts. Even with the massive amount of pelt removed so the rugs would lie flat the lions are still considered unusually large. They were known as the man eating lions of Killamangaro or something like that. Wouldn't it be something if one of the Survivors wandered into the night and never came back?! Spooky. The thing about these lions was that they had absolutely no fear of humans and would simply drag their victoms into the nearest thorn thicket, crunching their bones and eating while they screamed, all in ear shot of the entire RR camp. YUCK!”

“the producers obviously pick people that are not real outdoorsy types. then they put conflicting personality types on the same team to create friction and such. it's your basic "reality" show recipe. if the survival portion became second nature to these people, the show would suck. likewise, if everyone worked as a team and there were no backstabbing, again the show would suck.”

“Real suspense would be in leaving the contestants in a remote part of Africa during say, the fall ratings season. Break all contact between them and the outside world until the spring ratings season, then going back to see how many were left.”

“Joy: I know.. it was danged scary too.. exactly.. I was looking at the little brush 'fence' and was thinking no way.. post guard with LARGE guns.”

“Switchback: True.. but hey.. I just know how it would be if some of us went over there..”

“Word on the street has it that Tom the goat farmer is none other than our own Tom Terrific. Who'd known he'd town out to be a red neck?”

“I really loved the comment that one chick made..." its only been one day,we'll be fine" referring to the fact that none had a drink in over a day. Then the next scene people are passing out or throwing up. So the solution...eat canned cherries for some"quick sugar energy". MORONS!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmm we have no water other than this festering animal waste filled sludge,LETS EAT CHERRIES.Surely our bodies will use no more water to process food.

I look forward to the goat guy kicking Clarence's @ss with a log. Though this season lacks the "jiggle factor" of past shows this seasons promises (in my opinion) to be the one when an animal actually eats a cast-member,at least I hope so.”

“My guess is that I have some lions already trained and ready to go, to wander, jump the brush fence, and give them all a good scare one night.”

“Birch, I agree, someone have to be eaten alive, to make this show interesting...especially with what's happening in the real world. Towndawq and Joy, in the June 2000 issue of National Geographic Adventure, they have the story of those killer lions.”

“In order to keep it authentic...

The next challenge will be attempting to outrun a cheetah (hint: you dont have to outrun the cheetah,just the slowest member of your group). Then after the cheetah is done chewing your bones the vultures and hyenas will fight over the rotting carcass.Periodically the bone pile will be shown to add to the "drama". By the end of the season "Goat Guy" will be wearing the losers skull as a necklace muttering the horror the horror the horror .

At least one cast-member will get the ebola virus and we will get close up shots of them bleeding out the eyes.

Yes folks this promises to be the best show yet!”

“Sad news. One of those lions (BTW, they were brothers)in the movie, "Ghost and the Wind" died yesterday. He had been fighting cancer for a few years...I heard on the news that he was 25 years old (I think) and that was double his age if he had been in the wild. He was also in the Walt Disney movie, "George of the Jungle" (?) and the T.V series Morphosis (?). Wouldn't it be great if they used his brother to scare the cr@p outta those "survivors".”

“Has the Host had a face lift? We're a couple of weks behind in the show in oz so I'm relying on you lot to keep me informed of all the bits I should look out for, ie "Survivor speared by Masaii Warrior" or " Hippos run through camp and Squash Survivor". You know things of that sort.

In last years "Survivor" we were most pissed off that Colby tucked into a traditional Cattlemans dinner of beens and Bud. What CRAP! They all drink VB! I'm dammed sure the locals weren't eating beans! Probably flown in especially.”

“Yeah Bunyip, it's all about product placement. Bud paid loads of money for that spot.

BTW- what's VB? About the only Oz beer we can get around here is Fosters and that's made in Canada now and I highly doubt that it is a good representation of fine Assie beer.”

“That was a just a misspell wasn't it, Poop? LOLOL

Well, dang. I missed the first show. They usually do some REALLY stupid crap right off the bat, too (like tossing half their water??).

It seemed like they had one person on the last crew who halfway knew what he was doing, until he hyperventilated and fell into the fire, *DUR*. What a maroon!”

“Nigal: Having lived in Australia for awhile (a number of years ago), I think I can jump in here to answer your question.

VB = Victoria Bitter. I have fond memories of that green can and its contents! It's brewed in Melbourne, I believe.”

“Sorry, that is Aussie not Assie. Sheesh Nige!”

“When they were toting their supplies on the streacher, Why were only 2 people carrying it instead of distributing it across 4 people? They just might have decided to save their water! STUPID!!!!!”

“It's funny to watch a survival show from our perspective, isn't it?”

“Sign me up for the next season. It's going to have to be set, in the mountains or up north, somewhere... or maybe the Amazon?

What else is left Inner-City Survivor? How about Survivor Middle East?”

“They have already done a bunch of places that are hot. I'd think the next one would be someplace freaking cold.

Anyone see the Survivor parody the PJ's did last year?”

“Survivor: Polar Icecap

I guess that would seriously reduce the jiggle factor”

“Stupid things from the first show include:

1. Dumping half the drinkable water out at the begining.

2. Not rigging a yoke system on those stretchers (using belts etc. as straps) so they could carry it on on their shoulders or hips.

3. As the sun was setting, "Let's just talk and get to know each other".

4. Fetching water at the water hole at sunset and at dawn.

5. Eating the emergency supplies.

6. Leaving Clarence behind with the food.

7. and lastly, if I were planning on being in the middle of lion and other predatory animal country for 30 days, I would plan on not menstruating. I'd get one of those 3 month Norplant injections or take birth control pills nonstop throughout the month.”

“Did yall know they were not allowed to speak to each other AT ALL until the bus dropped them off. They didn't even know who their teams till they were dropped off.”

“Right on target GS.”

“Sorry if my responses are delayed I sometimes have to wait until the next day to read your Questions.
Yes VB is Victoria Bitter.
I believe a Tasmanian beer called Cascade is imported to the US, try that.”

“re last years geniuses, Can you believe anybody would be so stupid to set up in a creek bed? What did they think happens in creek beds, or why they are called "creek beds".
Is there a list of things you are allowed to take to these little camping trips.
Has anybody been caught trying to smuggle any contraband in.”