You know you are a redneck when...

“ehhehhe”

“Elvis Aron Presley's birthday is 8 January.

>8^P~~~”

“I always liked the one...

You might be a redneck......
if your working TV is siting on top of the one that doesn't.

This has been me for the last couple of months. My 36" died and I have been watching TV on a 13" siting on top of it. Ha Ha.
Bought myself a new TV this past weekend, and pushed the old one to the curb, so I'm slightly less redneck this week. ;-)”

“I was at the wedding reception of a redneck couple. They were quite into racing. Unfortunately, the groom's father, with whom he was very close, had passed away only a month or so before the wedding and I understood that it hit him pretty hard.

So at the reception, it seemed fitting when one of the groomsmen grabbed the microphone and announced, "We are all saddened that we have lost someone so special to Dan and to us. Will you all please join me in a toast and a moment of silence for





















Dale Ernhardt."

I couldn't believe it. They never mentioned the groom's father.

Rednecks!”

“You Might Be A Redneck Jedi

You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle."”

“LMAO @ tilt”

“Star Wars will never be the same! LOL”

“LOL.....hahahhahahaaa....a good one!!!”

“Nice, Chili.”

“yep...good one”

“You might work for a redneck police department if...



You have to use your personal car to jump-start the police car before you go on duty.

Your DSN (or badge number) is under 10.

Instead of "Attention all cars" the dispatcher says, "Hey, y'all! Ya ain't gonna believe this!"

BOTH police cars are in the body shop at the same time.

Your department seal includes a picture of a beer can.

The K-9 unit is Uncle Fred and his bloodhound.

Lunch breaks are extra long so you can catch or shoot your own food.

You don't have 911 because there's no "11" on the phones.

Uncle Fred’s dog kennel doubles as the holdover.

The only computer is a PlayStation in the Chief's office.

In-service training consists of watching COPS every week.

You were actually IN an episode of COPS- when they responded to a call at your trailer.

You can get your hair cut and testify at the same time, because the barber is the judge.

Community service involves working in they Mayor's corn field.

You can't have jury trials because there aren't 12 people who aren't related to the defendant.

The latest crime scene photos are on the same roll of film as your daughter's birthday party pictures.”

“In-service training consists of watching COPS every week. - Chili

Could be worse, could be 'Reno 911'. ;-)”

“... or Car 54 Where Are You.”

“... it's Smoky and the Bandit.”

“As a Suthrner I objec tah you'ns Dissin' mah home place ya heah?

'taint no better place fer cars boats an' youn'uns...why looky heah at the trainin' web site fer new home owners ....

http://www.drbukk.com/gmhom/park.html”

“From last weekend's Sipsey Bushwack trip...

If you sit around a campfire talking about your missing toenails, and other people are interested...you might be a backpacker.”

“what brand of beer ?”

“Doesn't say, but it was probably PBR.”

“Yep she's a redneck.

May have been some mitigating circumstances if it was Yuengling B&T, or Killians Red, or Guinness.”

“You might be a redneck if you bury a loved one with beer & cigarettes.”

“you beat me to it Currahee LOL”

“Hey Bubba, watch this......... ;-)”

“The correct thing would be add a personal mark of respect by passing the beer through your kidneys before putting it in the grave.”

“Yah, I plan to do that for my wife's grandmother (the evil one) when she finally does the world a favor and croaks um, shuffles off her mortal coil, as it were.”

“You might be a redneck if you find a bench seat for a pickup on the trail, and decide to take it home because it fits in truck you're "rebuilding."


HPM just did this, by the way.
last edited: 3/01/05 4:09:26 PM”

“Be glad he didn't put it on the front porch, treebait...”

“A friend of HPM's who brought it home in his pickup tried to do just that. I redirected him.”

“lol”

“Nigal, that sounded remarkably like CMB.”

“If you have more cars in your driveway than drivers in your household and none of which have any wheels on them...”

“Hey, I resemble that remark!”

“...You finally cut your yard and find at least 2 cars you thought you had lost!”

“Hey Bubba, watch this......... ;-)”
StoveStomper
4:04:00 PM
3/01/05

I actually had a boyfriend called Bubba once upon a time...”

“You know someone named Puddin' and she's not 2 years old, but married and drives a semi.

True story! LOL!”

“Gimme a break.
That seat woulda cost me $50-100 from a junkyard.

I consider it trail magic.”

“Bit, you have outdone yourself with this story as the foremost purveyor of crap on this forum! Congratulations!

(Thinking to myself) Maybe I can find a plae for this on Saturday's show...
last edited: 3/02/05 8:29:05 AM”

“Your Grandma steps outta the bathroon and announces, "Oh my gosh...do any you all want to come take a look at this before I flush it?"”

“No flip, that would be the "You Know You're Crazy Mike if..." thread. LOL!”

“am I a redneck - I just finished repairing my jeans with a poprivet?”

“Well if they were riveted to begin with it only makes sense.”

“Next time use the cotton twine from an old tobacco stick, or a rusty piece of tie wire, then give us a call.”

“I'm a redneck too...I just cut a funny looking something off my face with a pocket knife because my dermatologist said it was "nothing" and I should leave it alone.

Well, it WAS something and now it's gone!!

Stay tuned to see whether or not I end up in the hospital.”

“You crack me up MDS hiker! I didn't see any funny looking anythings on your face this weekend!

And I'm pretty sure you don't qualify as a redneck :-)

Bleeding much?”

“I guess you may need to change your TT name to MDSvangogh.”

“Nah...not bleeding. It was a little white bump and the doc said to leave it alone. It was annoying me so now it's gone. Maybe I need Birch to stitch me up?

No big deal, it's a tiny tiny spot.

Should I have cleaned the knife first?”

“Uh, yeah MDS hiker, clean the knife first. I myself have used a clean, new Xacto knife for removing "things" like that. Cuticle snippers work really well, too.”