HMWH Club Meeting #7

“Old Business:
1. Bachelor Auction - the bachelor auction was a partial success bringing in $15 and 10,000 rupees. We'll never have one again.

2. Proof of Newgirl - Thanks to memeber Aero for getting a pic of newgirl. A few ranking members of TT know the more detailed info. (breast size estimates, etc.) which will be published in a full report coming soon.

3. Babe of The Month - Last month the honor went to Alyssa Milano.

4. Beer of the Month - an oldie, but a goodie.... Natty light.

New Business:

1. Obtain compromising photos of Biz.

2. Lecture topic for our married members - "how to get out of trouble with the wife on weekends by blaming your single buddies"

3. Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus - the truth behind the lies.

4. The wingman.... an important componant of picking up girls in clubs.”

“you are the best, man!”

“It's time for some questions from listeners.

Q: "I have a tough time meeting women, even though I try to make witty and amusing somments on a backpacking site. Could it be true that penile enhancement can increase my chances in getting a woman?"
--B. Bear

Mr. Bear, surgery to enhance pen!s size can be unhelpful and painful. Numerous studies have reported that surgery for penile enhancement is often unsuccessful in delivering a larger pen!s. Also interesting is that it is often driven by locker room feelings of inferiority. The simple truth is that the size of a man's pen!s is less important during sexual intercourse than in the locker room where machismo and self-image are at stake.

1-800-DR-LAURA”

“Wow! Thanks Dr. Laura, that explains my stage fright in the bathroom as well!

Now go pound sand.

lol”

“Hey, can I join? I would like to offer my services for open positions as well.”

“Alyssa Milano should be the Babe of the Month forever!!!”

“We can assume that size does not matter to a dried up prune like Doctor Laura. Clearly this hag is so bunched up you couldn't drive a ten penny nail up her @ss with a five pound mallet.

Likewise we can assume that like many women the good doctor has such a debilitating case of pen!s envy that achieving orgasm is impossible. In that case size would not matter either.”

“Hey Laura, I got your doctorate hangin'.....”

“That's funny, Dr. Laura talking about a peni$. When was the last time you saw a peni$ Dr. Laura? Were there cars then or did you suck d!ck on horse back!”

“Uh, I think she sucked horse d!ck while on her back.”

“Since members keep all of their personal trophys at home, in clear view, to remind spouses & guests of their achievements, there is no need for a wall of fame in the HMWH club. I propose we create a Wall of Shame and Christen it with the vinegar likeness of the good Doctor Laura. We can post her old porn pictures along with her PMS induced nuggets of wisdom.

As the occasion arises we shall add additional subjects for ridicule and shame.

It is declared by proclamation and manly oaths.”

“1. Obtain compromising photos of Biz.

Buddha Bear 11/15/01

Many have tried, none have succeeded..”

“Wow, there is a 7th week meeting of the He Man Wuss Hating Club. I thought that you all had decided to actively seek other entertainment? No luck, huh?”

“In spite of Splash's nomination of herself. She will not be honored on the wall of shame.

Splash is doomed to remain with her pitiful husband and unwanted children from whom she seeks escape via the internet.”

“i like the wall of shame idea.

where are the darts?”

“Darts, farts, empty beer cans... it is all good. Highpowered rifles and shotguns prefered.”

“Geez, bacpac, just because you were a pitiful husband with unwanted children doesn't mean that the rest of us share your afflictions. At least I go hiking, my husband and kids some times join me, and sometimes we stay home together. You seem to be destined to always be home alone.”

“there will be no man bashing in the HMWH club!”

“Fine, when I see a man, I will exempt him!”

“you have cooties!”

“"Many have tried, none have succeeded.."

Bizstalker
11/15/01


Does this mean Biz is a virgin? I'll bet Biz's mom has some compromising baby pictures. Maybe even some awkward teenage photos. Anyone have her number?”

“I think we all have Biz' number.
Somebody give Splash a shopping bag and tell there is a sale at Wal-Mart.”

“Have digital camera- will travel.”

“Rule of Order! I shall never be alone as long as I have my extended family the HMWH club. And don't let the door hit you in the @ss woman!”

“Back from Wally World! I'm glad bacpac is not alone in his cybermind, at least. It would be SOOOOO sad, otherwise.”

“did you see falling prices?!?”

“yo-yo defense. (you'll get it)”

“Sweep.. sweep.... sweep those boring FAVORITE threads out of the way..”

“Who is this woman who would enter our ranks?
Deriding us fellows for our harmless pranks.
Upsetting the room with her premenstrual fit.
Demanding we behave and stop talking sh!t?

?You must mind your manners and do as your told.?
Her bitching just started and already it?s old.
She huffs and puffs and wags her finger.
?What it is that smell and why does it linger??
It is the smell of men, stale smoke and spilt beer.
What does it matter you don?t belong here.

Now I?ve done it, I ruffled her muff.
She started out nasty, but now she gets tough.
?Remove that porno off of the wall?
?There will be no fun, no fun at all.?
Her dander is up and her hormones are high.
Her nostrils flare, there?s fire in her eye.

This woman needs a man, a He Man for sure.
The Midol?s not working there?s only one cure.
The duty is risky we must have our best.
President Buddha takes off his vest.
?You?ll know I?m a man by the size of my member.?
It is a sight indeed we will all remember.

What began as a Splash is now just a puddle.
A lesson learned of when not to muddle.
Men are just pigs let out of our cage.
We?ll never grow up or act our age.
Now shaddup and gimme a beer, wench.”

“The Robert Frost Society just called. I have been made a dishonorary member.”

“Hey, no damned poems in here! bacpac.... chug!”