TT Essay Contest

“Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.”

“Do trip reports count?”

“'Nuff said.”

“LOLOL!! and the Masochist of the Day award goes to...SKULLY! ;-)

"essayer" means "to try" in French, by the way...so TRY your best...or worst, as the case may be...”

“ya, but what's the prize?.. a hike with skully?”

“I just don't think I can compete with a letter-generator, not with the criteria you have given here.”

“OiN E TtHhOiUnSkA.N.D. WiO RaDmS”

“Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think of. These can be original, well thought out essays or good old copy/paste from other sources. Automated letter generators are also permitted. Just remember the unofficial TT motto 'Anything goes' and get to it! Extra points will be awarded if anyone actually reads a post all the way through. A special prize will be awarded if they drop dead afterwards.
Ok all you long-winded TT'ers. This is your opportunity to showcase your bore 'em and snore 'em talents. In 1000 words or more describe every opinion you've ever had, considered having, or stolen from someone else on every topic you can think o”

“damn!

it cut me off, right when i was getting to the good part!”

“Sorry, raddy, and I heard the good part doesn't just grow back, either.


..Oh sorry, I thought you said it cut off the good part!”

“Dear Hiking Trail,

I've been thinking about you since getting into your clefts and notches.

I have been unable to tell you in person because I have been looking over and over those beautiful parts of you.

My name is TownDawg. I am so hopeless that I had to use a computer to compose this love letter for me, so what did I really expect?

Anyway, if you're still interested after all that, let's cyber and do a virtual trip sometime!

TownDawg”

“Oh how annoying.”

“newgirl, that is the crappiest essay that i've ever read.”

“Scroll...mouse...starting to....melt.....must....use.....back...button...”

“rad, that is the crappiest essay that i've ever read.”

“my vote is for violin... awesome!”

“At this point in time, I'd like to share with you some thoughts on the critical mass process and how it impacts the question of "Is selective excellence a two way street?" I think we can feel good about the outreach community, which has gone very far afield to manifest itself during a period of time when there has been a critical paradigm shift in the dialog with most secondary delivery systems, which have now successfully bridged to real networking for the twenty-first century.
The women-owned minorities process has as its mission to partner the interplay of advocacy in the goals and objectives of budgeting as well as administrating on a capitation basis upstream, which should get us back on track with the long term plan coming down the pike. It should be obvious from our commitment to empowering the Information Superhighway that diversity is an important consideration for everyone here, making it important to prioritize our distance learning goals in this age of diminishing resources. We expect this to have a dramatic impact, from a positive standpoint, so we are in a very intense mode on this, and we are fairly confident everything should be up and running within at least a five-year time frame.

That is the bottom line.

The full appreciation of these efforts often goes unrecognized, but one thing I think we have all learned is that we must be proactive rather than reactive in holding the line and re-engineering our mix of shared university governance and critiquing legislative intrusion in terms of the dialog process of our track record of disincentives and their centrality to the basic mission of the university and its institutional turf and human resources, especially with external parties, which we have done with focus groups in our community forum.

Although it is important to avoid the appearance of set quotas, certainly it is critical to develop policies and procedures that can enable us to craft a consensus to take a very close look at the involvement of governance within the system with entry level budget appropriation targets, and especially as it applies to how we proceed with reinventing our core competency, which is a world class cutting edge.

That is the bottom line.

I intend to feel good about that too, at least at this point in time.

But we must keep in mind the crisis-handling authority delegated by the regents to the chancellors for non-K-12 education, because this is the only way to level the playing field in a timely manner. Therefore all operations have been benchmarked against community standards, and we have formed a strategic partnership to restructure our human resources; this will allow our senior executive team to manage operations (and especially finances) of the combined entities within our enterprise, filling some of these positions on an interim basis in an acting capacity to ensure the continued success of our most preeminent programs.

This is of course especially painful among our core constituency in the trenches, and we expect to emerge as a real leader in this field early in the next century, continuing our tradition of leadership in this area, in which it is clear that we must take the lead out the gate coming down the pike, which would be a win-win situation in the pipeline.

That is the bottom line.

Preliminary projections show that this has been completely reversed in the last ten years, which, in the light of hindsight, we should have foreseen as it applied to supporting the acceptable goals boundary of the real world and the various options we have been exploring or the entry-level personnel we have been tasked with mentoring. But from where we sit, we stand in real danger of being hoisted on the horns of our own dilemma on that one, especially in terms of downsizing development among the donor community as we transition to better efficiency enhancement. In other words, we expect to shoot down some alleys and hope that we get a strike down there, that we're fishing in the right place.

Systemwide would really like your feedback on that. Just give a call to our voicemail or message us a letter and anybody in the office will be glad to call back and discuss your input and share the President's perspectives with you or your designated representative.

That is the bottom line.

I will continue to apprise you of significant change and progress, and appreciate your continued support. Thanks for letting me guest here. I'm sorry we don't have time for questions. You've been a wonderful audience. Thank you.”

“11,270 words. impressive!”

“Le Subtil, you clearly have a gift.

I've just had one of those rare experiences where all of a sudden, what once was dark and murky and confusing becomes clear, lucid, bright. For the first time, I really understand! And in understanding is love, and of course freedom.

And that is the bottom line.

So having been thusly illucidated, I feel so empowered to go forward, forgetting all that is in the past, as the past should well be forgotten, other than, of course, to the extent that we must learn from it, but I wish to not digress into matters of a personal nature because the point I am trying to make, although I will not have made it nearly as well as Les Subtil did, is that his piece, or rather your piece, LS, has truly touched (no, not douched, but touched) my life, and that is a beuatiful thing. It is beautiful for me but also for you, as you have had the privilege of being involved, or even, a religious person might say "used," to effect this epiphany.

And that is the bottom line.

So keep writing, LS. And writing. And writing...

You have a gift.

And THIS is the bottom line.”

“that would be rad's 11,270.

i'm sorry le subtil, only 764. you'll have to try a little harder.”

“Yes, but he does enter into the spirit of the contest. I find it hard to fault him on a mere technicality.”

“Where's Orbitmanifesto when you need him??”

“I never knew OrbMan.

Whatcha need him for?”

“I didn't either but if the rumors and references are anything to go by, he would have been a shoe-in to win this one.”

“For weeks I had been morbidly fascinated by this girl. She worked at Tower Records, you know one of those gothic types with dyed black hair. This one had her head shaved all the way around a couple inches above her ears. The rest of her hair was sort of toussled and gelled up on top. Through a few strands she'd braided a thin silver chain that flopped around loosely. She also had a nipple ring on her left breast, but of course I didn't know this yet.
I'd been idly stalking her for a couple weeks, harmless stalking by an uncertain boy, a few stolen glances here and there as I pretended to browse the CD bins, maybe even a missed heartbeat when I lucked into her being my cashier out of the three at the counter -- kind of like a slot machine except I only had to get one of three to be a winner. Never an extra word spoken. Couldn't muster it. Didn't know quite what to say, 'cept "thanks" when she handed me my change. Maybe I feebly tried to touch her hand a little when accepting my coins. She seemed clueless, or if not clueless at least bored, and maybe slightly annoyed. Above all, totally indifferent.
So I couldn't help but think there were higher forces at work in bringing us together, because certainly it wouldn't have happened if we were left alone: me, shy and clumsy; her, aloof. Don't let me give you the impression she was a porcelain statue, cold and lifeless. She showed plenty of life with the people she knew, the people "behind the counter", on the other side, in her world. She'd let a customer wait while she finished a story about her weekend. She'd laugh and grin and chuckle interacting with the fellow clerks, talking about stupid managers and cool bands and rollercoaster relationships. Soon as she turned to the customer though, she was all business, maybe even less than all business. It was more like a chore, and the quicker she could finish, the sooner she could get back to real life.
Anyway, I'm sure somebody was helping because we finally did manage to meet officially, not just in a "business" capacity. More about the actual meeting later. She consented to a lunch one day with relative cheerfulness. We ate outside at a cafe, chewing sandwiches and sipping coffee. The conversation passed passed tamely, maybe too tamely for her, because she steered the conversation from clothes to leather to sex and then told me brashly that she preferred sex with studded condoms. "Does that intrigue you?" she asked. I didn't know what to say. She seemed pleased at having disarmed me so easily, but kindly changed the topic anyway.
A few nights later it came up again. I'd never used a studded condom before, only seen 'em in novelty machines in skanky bathrooms. But she had one, a bright fuchsia one, and I was putting it on with her sprawled across the bed waiting for me.
I got up the next morning and she was gone. We'd slept at her place. It was small but with lots of character, interesting decorations, silver crosses dangling from everywhere like a weird shrine, a tie-dyed sheet on the wall, music posters, and some of her own black and white photos blown up, a couple plants too--I knew she had a nurturing side. I hung out for a while thinking she might be back soon. After an hour I left and went back to school.
It was about 11:00 when I got back to my dorm. I didn't have a class until 1:15, so I figured I'd do some work. She was invading my head though, and I couldn't concentrate. The girls I'd slept with before had all been so sterile and boxed up, more scared than excited but not knowing it. Jasmine, that's her name by the way, hadn't been like that at all. It had been kind of strange actually. I felt like I had been playing a part in her fantasy. What we had done wasn't really real. She was too relaxed; it was too pleasant, too perfect.
That night the phone rang. Jasmine said she was going to a club and asked me to come. So I got dressed and went.
I lay in bed alone thinking that we were a pretty unusual couple, if we even were a couple, which I couldn't tell. She wore her outrageousness. Purple lipstick, shaved head, etc. I guess mine was just in my head. When I looked in the mirror that night before bed, I saw that my lips were slightly purple. Some of her lipstick had rubbed off as we kissed. I mused about my own outrageousness becoming apparent to the world, if I was even an outrageous person. Maybe Jasmine was the first step in the expression of my outrageousness. I imagined myself turning inside out in a B horror movie kind of sensibility. I saw purple seeping out of my head and onto my lips. Soon it would be dripping down my chin. Funny that outrageousness should be purple. I wonder what colors other qualities are. I guess scared is red, for blood, wounded. Pink must be unreality, living in the sunset, another world. What is it with girls and lipstick?
I got up for class at 8:00 the next morning. I had Greek classical architecture at 9:00. I immersed myself in Doric columns for an hour. I didn't think about Jasmine at all.
A week went by and I didn't call Jasmine and she didn't call me. Then I went over to her apartment and drew a smiley face on her door. That night she knocked softly at my door.
We went out for breakfast the next morning. We took my car, an old Honda. It was grey and the passenger door didn't shut all the way because it had been in an accident before I owned it. Actually the door did shut; it just didn't look like it from the outside because the metal was bent out where it should have been flush. It had a great old AM/FM radio too. The reception was always bad, but I kind of liked it like that. It sounded like my teachers, and anchorpeople on TV, and politicians, and newspapers, and MTV VJ's, and especially like stewardesses, excuse me, flight attendants, when they're telling you the safety features of your airplane... only the radio played music. When I revved the engine the speakers crackled.
Jasmine left her hand on the stick shift so I had to grab it every time I shifted. We didn't talk on the way to breakfast, just listened to the radio pretty loud.
I had coffee cake and an orange juice, fresh squeezed with lots of pulp and even little bits of seed floating around. Jasmine ordered some sort of tofu dish. I tried not to pay attention. We were eating at a little rinky-dink café called Corner Cornucopia or something like that. It had lots of long, stringy green plants hanging from planters, and the walls were covered with vivid jungle scenes.
The owner, or manager, or chief loiterer, or whatever she was, was in her late fifties, too old to have been the heart and soul of the sixties. She must have latched on after she became disenchanted with her own generation--sort of like a sixties groupie. Anyway she was pretty nice, very attentive at least. She wore forest green Birkenstocks, a long floral purple skirt, and had her gray hair pulled back in a pony tail that reached almost to the floor. She kept coming by to refill Jasmine's coffee and get me more water or another orange juice. She stopped by three times to make sure our food was OK and tried to strike up some small talk, which we did a fair job of quelling, you know sociable quelling, nothing offensive.
"Could I get you two anything else? No? You sure now? You really need healthy food to keep up your energy in times like these. I was reading just this morning where Pres. Mulrooney vetoed the Clean Drinking Water Bill. It amazes me that...," she had that spacey, hippy, drugged out way of talking that made it seem like her mind worked slower than her mouth.
At this point I cut in, directing my gaze away from her and toward Jasmine, "Yeah, Jasmine, you know that reminds me of this article I read in Plutonium last week about...." Hippy-lady shuffled quietly off before I had even finished the sentence.
I guess she liked us because we were like the sixties of the nineties, at least in certain ways. Jasmine was the fringe element, and I was the student.
We finished eating, and I paid the bill at one of those old non-electronic cash registers, a quaint little rebellion against the passing of time, not quite an anachronism but soon to be, after this place goes out of business in a year or two. We left, saying bye to Sally, the sixties groupie, promising to return soon.
It was pretty sunny out as we left the Corner Cornucopia and walked back to the car. People were strolling amiably by, or so they appeared. We passed one couple with triplets in a triple baby carriage, and an old man with a beard who walked slowly and kept smiling at everyone and saying Merry Christmas. A little white dog with a leash trailing behind it followed him. The man was sort of musty-looking in an old green jacket and brown pants, but the dog looked good enough, frisky. I saw a store that had a bunch of glass globes on shelves in its window, so we stopped to look.
Inside there were more globes, some of them two feet in diameter, sitting on pedestals or in chairs. They were all different colors and perfectly clear, no bubbles at all. Behind the globes on the walls were some random framed prints that added to the earthy-artsy feel of the place.
The proprieter came out in a minute. I asked her what the globes were for. She went to the counter and came back with a little pamphlet that explained about the globes and their origin.
The Chinese had been using them for thousands of years, she explained, as a central part of their meditation practices. Now they were making a big hit in the United States, after Ray Davies, the movie star, started raving about their benefits on some talk show. They were called Sfears, because s- before a word in Italian denotes un- something. Hence un-fear. It was a name the American public had really latched onto. It also made a good pun. They were supposed to help alleviate fears and bring relaxation.
She told me to keep the pamphlet. She also said she was running meditation groups twice a week with instruction on how to use the globes, so I should come back if I had any interest. I thanked her patronizingly and laughed as I walked out the door.
"Well, so what's the plan, Jasmine?" I asked on our way to the car.
"Let's go to L.A.," she proposed and scrunched into my shoulder. I wasn't a hard sell. After minimal convincing, I agreed to bail on school and drive off into the sunset.
We hopped into the car, blasted the radio, and blazed down to my friend Bob's place of work. He worked in a lumber yard and had access to lots of great cutting tools. We squealed into the parking lot at Hank's Lumber and headed over to the chopping shack. Bob could usually be found there. He was busy power sawing something. He had clear goggles on and a big wad of tobacco in his cheek. Some tobacco juice was caught in the upper hairs of his goatee. He didn't notice us when we first walked in. Eventually, when he turned to spit, he saw my shoes, but he didn't get much on them. He looked up and grinned widely at seeing me, nearly pulling my hand off when he shook it. I introduced him to Jasmine. He looked at her and then looked back at me approvingly.
"How goes it, Travis?" he asked me. "You haven't been around in weeks. School bringing you down? Stealing all your time?"
"Well, sort of. Jasmine's been stealing my time too. I haven't really had a whole bunch of hanging out time though. How goes it with you?" I offered back.
"Aww, you know. Same stuff. Same job. Same wood. Same customers. Sort of got myself in a rut. Sometimes it feels like a rhythm though, and that's good."
"Listen, Bob. You got a chain saw I could borrow for a minute."
"Sure, what fer? You got a gopher problem?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I just want to cut the roof off my car. Jasmine and I are going south, and we want a convertible."
"Oh, sure, I can help you out. As a matter of fact, I can even do it for you. We got a big cutter in the other building that would work great. Why don't you drive it in there. I'll be over in just a second."
Cruising down the 1 to L.A. in our new convertible, Jasmine and I were both pretty contented, smug with our individuality. That was one of the best days of my life. The sun glared overhead. Heat emanated from all parts of the car, but the ocean breeze kept us perfectly comfortable, more than comfortable.
We tooled through small costal towns like Pismo Beach, thinking someday we might come back and buy one of the stylin' condos perched on the hills overlooking the ocean. Jasmine and I hadn't known each other long, and who knew how long it would last, but sometimes we talked of permanence, of buying a home together and raising children together, regardless of its truth. It was for the instant, because in that instant we were forever. That was one of the things I found sexiest about Jasmine, that she understood this.
Her hair tangled in the wind. She didn't care in the least. I told her I'd brush it for her like some queen's attendant when we got somewhere. My hair was too short for the wind to bother me.
I couldn't help but reach over periodically and touch her. Maybe it was the heat from the sun. Maybe it was her gorgeous legs slipping out of her red sundress when the wind blew. I think there's something about driving too. Maybe the vibration of the road. I couldn't help it though. Eventually I just left my hand on her thigh, pressing and massaging. I didn't face any resistance. In fact soon she put her hand over mine and started guiding my movements. Firmly. I'd been trying to be gentle, but I guess she wasn't in a gentle mood. She was pressing my hand tightly against her thigh, almost cutting off the blood, maneuvering it up further and further.
She let go of my hand and put both her hands into her hair. She closed her eyes and rocked her head back onto the headrest. I had a hard time keeping my eyes on the road and off her. She was a vision. Delirious youth on a perfect day in a perfect ecstasy. Her legs slid slightly apart, and my fingers came against soft lace panties. She twisted and I tugged and we managed to maneuver the panties down enough.
Driving a car doesn't lend itself all that readily to digital stimulation of the passenger. I had to torque my right hand a bit to get a decent position. At first I just tickled her pubes, brushing softly over them and against her thighs. Letting her wait. Making her want it, although somehow I knew I wasn't the one in control here. As I let my fingers glide in closer against her moist lips, I heard her suck in a quick breath and felt her legs jerk softly. I was about to climax just from touching her. She relaxed and exhaled.
I took another glance at the road. Didn't want to pullover. Isn't the same if you do. Gotta be movin', man. I let my fingers work circles against her labia, feeling her grow wetter, hearing her breathing more rhythmic. My fingers were starting to cramp but I didn't give a #&%!$. What's a touch of discomfort in a transcendent moment like this? I could sense she was getting closer, so I got more delicate, moving away from her lips and back to her thigh, using her own lubricant as massage oil. I took my hand away completely and moved it up against her breast. I think the guy passing us on the left was enjoying the show. I tried to caress her breast but almost as soon as I got there she took her hands out of her hair and pushed me straight back where I came from. Maybe I was running the show here after all.
With my wrist bent and uncomfortable again (although my brain wasn't registering the nerve messages at this point), I brought her breathing back up in no time and began diddling her clitoris. She was rubbing my forearm incoherently but lovingly. For all she cared, my arm could've been a cinder block; she just wanted to be touching something. I liked it just the same.
She was moving her legs in and out now, rubbing them against my hand, clenching every now and then, which made my job much more difficult. Her head rolled back and forth on the headrest, and her breathing was tinged with quiet moans I could barely make out over the rush of the wind. In a moment she came. Her whole body contracted, every muscle going taut. Then she exhaled loudly, and her head slumped forward over her lap. She sat like that for a second before pulling her head back up with herculean effort. In a moment she had let it slip down against the side of the car. I left my hand on her thigh.
I was just deciding that she'd fallen asleep like that when she stirred. Her legs were the first to move. She pulled them together and squeezed them against each other. It was like she was rousing herself from some frozen slumber, one part of her body coming alive at a time. Then she arched her back like a cat, rolled her head back and opened her eyes. She looked at the sky for a minute. I looked at her for a minute. Yeah, yeah, driving, the road, whatever. Then she turned her head and looked at me. Her eyes were blank and happy. Her lips were drawn up in a languid Mona Lisa smile. She lingered like that while I alternated between glancing at her and checking the road.
Then she drew herself up and draped her arms around me, resting her head against my shoulder and cheek. I was in Heaven. I felt at that moment like I was just going to vanish in a puff of smoke. Why? I don't know. Maybe because it doesn't seem like whoever's in charge allows that kind of empyreal happiness. But I guess he/she/it does. Because there I remained, with my glorious, fairy tale girl wrapped around me under a crisp blue sky on our way to LA and beyond.
She fell asleep like that, and I drove on. It was getting toward dusk, and I was hungry, so I pulled over in Las Piedras. I drove down toward the water and crept smoothly along the beach road to keep from waking Jasmine up. Up ahead I saw a weathered brown building that looked like it'd been made of driftwood. Up a little closer there was a sign in front that said Uncle Moe's Surf-n-Turf. I pulled into the gravel parking lot and couldn't help from jostling the car over the bumps and potholes. Jasmine raised her head from my shoulder, and with sleepy, confused eyes and a sleepy voice said, "Huh, what are we... Where are we?"
That was a hell of a question I thought, and then gave her the simple answer, "We're at world renowned Uncle Moe's where they've secretly replaced the.... I thought we'd get something to eat. Y'hungry?"
She surveyed the scene blearily through squinted eyes and then fell back onto my shoulder. I think she mumbled, "Uh, uh," on her way down.
"Come on. I'm hungry. You're gonna to have to roust yourself. Get on up wit'cha," I said, tickling her lightly.
She moaned and sat up. She closed her eyes hard, shook her head, opened her eyes wide, and said with new energy, "OK. Let's go. I'm ready now."
We moseyed into Uncle Moe's. Being a weekday, and on the early side, Uncle Moe's was less than packed. So we got a prime table looking straight out into the ocean. The sun was just starting to set as Uncle Moe sat us down.
"Drinks to start?" he bellowed in a gruff but friendly voice. Maybe it was just jarring because we'd been in our own dreamy world for the last six hours. If Jasmine hadn't really been awake before, she was now.
"Maybe a Mai Tai, or one of our Beach Bonanzas, house special?" he continued, tacitly assuring us that he wouldn't be carding.
"Yeah, I'll have a vodka on the rocks," Jasmine said. You had to like that in a woman. #&%!$ the spritzers.
"Uh, how 'bout an Miller for me."
"I'll be back with those in a second. Why don't you take a look at the menus." Uncle Moe shuffled off. He was a large man we could see now as he walked away. Large in girth, not height, that is. His billowy apron with the giant red lobster had obscured this when he faced us. I was reassured. For some reason I figured this meant he was a good cook.
To the left of the door Moe disappeared through was a big glass tank full of awkward, slow-moving lobsters with their claws pinioned. I got up to go look at them. Jasmine stared over the ocean. They looked so sad and helpless, with bright blue bands around their claws and constantly getting stepped on. I figured I'd eat one. Put him out of his misery. I picked my dinner and then went back to Jasmine.
There were two other couples in the place. One was in their fifties and looked like they could've been Moe's first cousins. They barely fit into their booth. They were chuckling and engaged with each other. The other couple was two guys in their early thirties. They weren't talking that much. One would say something and look hopefully at the other. The other would reply tersely and then gaze away. I guessed it was some kind of bad first date.
My intuition about Moe turned out to be right. The food was amazing. And as we ate the place started to fill up. Jasmine had a salad and the snapper. I told Moe which lobster I wanted and he plucked him from the tank and boiled him up for me.
Jasmine had seemed a little withdrawn through dinner. I figured she was still dazed and sleepy from our drive. But I guess she was thinking because she looked up from her snapper and said, "I'm happy with you here."
I was touched. Jasmine wasn't very verbally expressive, and I knew that she really meant it.
"Me too," I responded.
"This is perfect. I'm so glad we did it. Everyone always says, wouldn't it be great if we... But they never do."
"It's not done yet."
"I know. I mean I'm glad that we started," and then she looked down and arranged a bite of snapper on her fork.
"Do you do wild stuff like this all the time? Like leaving your job and apartment on no notice. I mean I still don't really know you very well. In some ways I feel like I know you intimately even though we only met a couple weeks ago, but then there's also this unfathomable void. You know, like this part of you I'll never know. And maybe even you don't." She usually wasn't much for pensive, philosophical talks so I figured I'd better take advantage of her current mood.
"No, not really. I'm usually pretty stable. After high school I #&%!$ed around a bit--you know, no job, mooching from my parents, crashing wherever the party was, doing the club thing--but I was always in the same spot. And I never really had a lot of responsibilities that I could shirk if I wanted. I guess I arranged my life like that." She chose to address the easy part of my question.
"You know, I don't even know how old you are."
"Eighteen. I took the equivalency when I was sixteen, and I've just been screwing around since. I lived with my mom until she moved to #&%!$in' podunk middle America. And then I got a job at a cafe and the apartment. It calmed me."
"Do you want to know how old I am?" I asked.
"I know. Nineteen. I saw it on your license when we got carded at the club. Birthday's March 23. Too bad I don't know what sign that is. Seems like I'd be an astrology type, huh? Well I'm not."
She spoke plainly and to the point, but her voice had a dreamy, lilting timbre that made you think of far away places. A voice belied by the words it spoke. A voice that hinted of a deep romanticism if you listened to its sound and not what it said.
I wanted to hear it some more, so I asked, "So why'd you decide to come with me? I didn't have the sense before that you were all that into me."
"I just take a little while to warm up to someone. That's all." Her shoulders hunched forward slightly and her arms ran straight down into clasped hands beneath the table. She looked like a shy little girl not wanting to answer some adult question. Her head was cocked to the left and she leaned forward when she said this and looked at me sincerely. She was adorable.
For a moment we just looked at each other. Then I looked down and had another bite of succulent lobster tail. I dipped it generously in the melted butter.
She asked, "So why'd you come with me?"
"I don't know. I like being with you, looking at you, seeing you, hearing your voice, touching you... It seems natural... Like we fit." I was struggling a little for words.
She helped me out and said, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
"So what is it that you're warming up to in me?"
"You're honest. You're true. I need that. It's comforting."
Then she said she needed to use the bathroom, and I could tell this conversation was finished for the time being. I watched her head toward the lobster tank and then make a left and disappear behind a wall. Her dress swished appetizingly as she strode. She had a jaunty but feminine gait that suggested hard and soft at the same time.
Uncle Moe popped through the door to the right of the lobster tank, the door to the kitchen, as I was gazing, and proceeded over. He rested his hand on the booth next to my shoulder and propped his weight against it.
"Well, how'd we do, son?" he queried.
"It was amazing. Next time I'm in Las Piedras, I'll be sure to stop by."
"Good, good, please do. You didn't lose your lady friend there, did you?"
"No, no, just powdering her nose."
"Are you all through there? Can I take these?"
"Sure."
And then we were back on the road, climbing up over the Grapevine with the heater blasting and my reliable Honda topping out at about 55. The convertible was sublime during the day, but I was having some tepid second thoughts now as we struggled toward LA through the chilled night air. Nothing serious, more just idle #&%!$ing than anything else. California cools off quickly in the evening.
Jasmine was wrapped in a woven blanket I picked up in Mexico on a trip with friends. I had my parka on.
We had been quiet for a while now, sort of a meditative trance that always happens on road trips. The drone of the engine and the oozing warmth of the heater lulling us off.
Somewhere on the Grapevine, Jasmine slipped into the back seat behind me and started rubbing my back. It felt fantastic. After driving all day, it was a welcome relief. She had great fingers. Strong and deft. She massaged my shoulders and my neck and my temples and played with my hair. When she got tired she ran her fingers along my lips, and I kissed and sucked them. I felt blessed. I must've done something good in a previous life. Finally she curled up in the back seat and went to sleep.
I pondered about this strange girl I had met and how she seemed to soften and become more comfortable with me and at the same time more reticent. Like she didn't want to speak because now it meant something, where before I'd just been some random dude. Maybe one of many. I'd have to ask her about that.
I wondered about her past, and her home life. I wondered what she thought about when she gazed out over the ocean and what she dreamt of as a young girl. What drove her to become part of fringe society? Or was that even a choice? Maybe just the way you are. What motivated her to dye her hair black and cut it funky? Was she trying to accost people's sensibilities or did she just like it? I myself thought it was unique and very cute. She sort of mussed it up and wore it all puffy and disheveled on top. I wasn't sure about the braided chain yet, but it was growing on me. What was it that attracted us to each other? I'm sure to everyone we seemed an unlikely pair.
I entertained myself with these thoughts as the road sped away behind us.
We made it into LA proper about an hour later. Hopped on the 101 d