The Ledgen of the Skeery Woof Bare

“Once and once a time, ther was a woof walkin aroun in the woods. He smelled on the leafs wher a bare was walkin aroun and he followd the traks to a BIG hole that was a cabe. He walked in the cabe and heerd "woooooooooo who is walkin aroun in my cabe?"

He sayed "I am the woof of the woods aroun heer."

Then the bare sayed "oh".

So the woof walked some more and seen the bare. He was a BIG grissy bare.

The bare said "what are you doin aroun heer?"
And the woof sayed "I am lookin for some more suppers."
The bare sayed "ther is a ded wild lamma with guts over ther in the nother woods" and the woof sayed "I kno cuz I ate some of his guts and got belly bugs and poots and butt werms". Then the bare sayed "I kno cuz I ate some of the wild lamma guts and got belly bugs and poots and butt werms to."

So any ways the woof sayed "I theenk I am goin to do a stinky doodoo and thro up my belly guts" and the bare sayed "I awreddy did a stinky doodoo and throde up my belly guts. I theenk it was the ded wild lamma guts!"
"Me to" sayed the woof.

Then the woof sayed "can I do some naps in yer cabe?" and the bare sayed "yes".

So the bare and the woof did a good nap. In a minit the bare and the woof did some GOOD POOTS and it was like smoke all in the cabe. The smoke went out side and got on the trees and the leafs falled off and tree rats got ded and the nother aminals (that was not awreddy ded) runned a way.

The smoke got all on the woof and the bare to and they was *all most* ded to. But they was not ded tho. They was layin rite byside each nother and ther hares got melty to gether and they was like the same aminal! They was not a woof and a bare no more but they was the
SKEERY WOOF BARE o-8=

In a minit the woof bare waked up and sayed "wooooooooooo - I am the skeery woof bare!"

He walked out side and was hungry. He ate the nother ded wild lamma guts and was still wantin more suppers so he ate a ratcoon and a marmrat and a gater and a bobkitty and a ranger and his hors and some nother theengs that he culd find.

So ever day the woof bare walks aroun in the woods sayin "wooooooooooooo I am the skeery woof bare" and eets ever thing he sees even peeple and dogs that walk in the woods and sleep in the woods and ther suppers to.

So if you are ever walkin in the woods and heer "wooooooooooooo I am the skeery woof bare" you better RUN THE NOTHER WAY!”

“ok, i've had too much to drink.”

“i thought it was just me! ;-)

actually, i have...i just went to a company luncheon, which was eleventy hundred times more fun than i thought it would be. i'm rather wasted...i either need a nap or more alcohol... :-P”

“You better not poot!”

“I vote for the latter. Pass me one while you're at it.”

“i'm not "passing" anything, LOL! ;-)

just kidding...what kind of beer can i get you, deathmarch?”

“I don't know, Maybe a Killians or a Hornsby's. Got any good local stuff?”

“we had a choice of "white" or "red" wine at the luncheon, LOL! very specific, huh? ;-) well, everyone at work is drunk, so we all get to go home, yay! later, taters! ;-P and i'll be sure to watch out for skeery woof bears on the way to the metro...”

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”

“Metro? Lyra, are you in Montreal?”

“I shoulda never got her started on the "woof bare" thing.

Next canoe trip, she'll prolly come back with some legend about the "Swomp Booger" o8=”

“Good one, Belle!”

“Great story Belle, I'll be sure to keep an eye open for that critter.”

“Lemme see if I understand, the woof and the bare taked a poot in the cave and the poots started smoking and rose up and killed the trees and animals outside and melted the woof and bare's hairs and cell walls and their DNA ran together and they became a stinky woofbare.

Hmmmmm ... what happened to the stinky poot smoke where'd it go? Or is it still out there and is it coming this way? An how menny heds that stinky woof bare has?”

“Big hairy sucker in a bar once. Smelled like stinky poot.”

“I'm going to be skeered to walk in the woods and sleep in the woods now!”

“Oh my gosh!! That's funny. I'm skeered too, Dude.”

“It cant swim can it?

Actually after seeing the cook-off photos, it isn't Jerbear or Towndawg is it?”

“LOL, ya hav to talk the "sarabelle" talk on this her thred or the sceery woof bare will get yoo with hes stinky poot!”

“Oops, Soorry Sarabelle, I's verra skeerred of da skeery woof bare. Mebbe it gonna swim an git me wiv da stinky poot!”

“LOL, another good reason to use a filter!”

“I seen the skeery woof bare the nother nite! We was ridin in the truk to go to Wiskeys hous and I SEEN THE SKEERY WOOF BARE byside the rode o-8=

I sayed "OHMADAWG! THER IS THE SKEERY WOOF BARE!" and my daddy sayed "it aint no skeery woof bare it is jus a cow" and I sayed it jus smells like a cow cuz it prolly jus ate a ded cow and cow guts.
And my daddy sayed "what never"
and I sayed "what never" to.

It was a skeery time!”

“I tinks Bellie tinks she sawed that stinky woof bare ridin in the truk BAK FRUM the wiskeys haus where her daddy put sum whiskee in her bole.”

“Laughing out loud at the office when reading these posts is making people wonder just what the heck I am up to. Long live Sarabelle!!

Beware of the sinky woof bare.”

“Scooby thought she saw a skeery woof bare once when she was a puppy. It was in the field across from our house. I tried to tell her it was just a deer, but I don't think she ever believed me.”

“LMAO!!”

“Sarabelle-
Can you please call up my dog and tell him this story.

He doesn't believe me that there are scary Woofs in the forest and doesn't understand why he can't go hiking with me.

555-2535”

“Once and once a time, the Skeery Woof Bare was still walkin aroun in the woods. He ate ALL of the aminals he seen.

He ate all the brids. Hummy brids, busserds, pointy tale grouchs, blew brids, chikkens, duks, and all the nother ones.

He ate rats to. Rok rats, ratcoons, marmrats, parry rats, tree rats, ratbits, leaf rats and nother rats.

Did he eet nother aminals? Yes.
He ate regler bares and regler woofs. Deers, moos's, mewls, cows, elks, dogs, kittykittys, raddel sneeks, armerdillers, and hogs.

And he went to the Lannic Oshen. Ther he ate all the dog fins, trowts, nother duks, grabs, terddels, gaters, and bellycans.

He ate fly bugs, bee bugs, kriggets, werms and cadder pillers.

He ate mans and womans and kids.

No buddy kno'd what to do. Ever buddy just runned the nother way if they was not awreddy ded.

Then the Grate Kittykitty Skinny Kenny kno'd what to do. He sayed "Hopper Bug, you must get the Skeery Woof Bare ded."
(Hopper Bug was a happy nice dog). And Hopper Bug sayed "WHAT?!! I am SKEERD of the Skeery Woof Bare!" And she sayed "That Skeery Woof Bare will get ME ded!"

And Grate Skinny Kenny sayed "I got a sekert plan." And Hopper Bug sayed "Oh".

So any ways, Grate Skinny Kenny sayed the plan. "Go in ther wher the doodoo box is and eet the magik doodoos. Then put yer gimmedat blanky in yer pakpak and walk in the woods wher ther is the Skeery Woof Bare."

When it was the nother mornin, Hopper Bug seen the majik doodoos in the doodoo box and she ate the majik doodoos. Then she put her gimmedat blanky in her pakpak and sayed "By Grate Skinny Kenny" and Grate Skinny Kenny sayed "By Hopper Bug - be carful." And Hopper Bug sayed "ok".

So Hopper Bug was walkin in the woods and she heerd "Ooooooooo I am the Skeeeeery Woooooooof Baaaaaare!" and she peed on the leafs. Then she sayed "Wher are you, you ol Skeery Woof Bare?" and the Skeery Woof Bare sayed "I am over heer by hind this tree."
and Hopper Bug sayed "Well come over heer and let me ressel you up."

So the Skeery Woof Bare walked over to Hopper Bug and sayed "I am goin to eet you!" and Hopper Bug sayed "What never."

Then Hopper Bug got out the gimmedat blanky that had majik leafs and pine leetels and hares and derts on it. She shaked and shaked and shaked the gimmedat blanky and then ther was a majik clowd and it got on the Skeery Woof Bares ey balls and on his hares and he sayed "Oh my goodys! My ey balls hert and I can not breeve good and I mite get ded! Oh! The PAAAAAANE!" and Hopper Bug did some good hops and triks and bites and resseled up the Skeery Woof Bare perty good and the Skeery Woof Bare RUNNED THE NOTHER WAY and sayed "O! O! I theenk I will prolly be ded in a minit!"

And no buddy never seen the Skeery Woof Bare no more.

Then Hopper Bug got home and ever buddy sayed "Yaaaaay! Hopper Bug got the Skeery Woof Bare ded with the majik gimmedat blanky clowd and ressels! Yaaaaaaay!"

The End”

“Now that is one talented pooch!”

“I think Psycho Squirrel has some competition.”

“Hmmmm, wonder what would happen if skeery woof bare meets Psycho. Happy Happy Joy Joy!”

“I guess you are expecting a trip report now.”

“This is definitely "The Summer of the Story" on Trail Talk.”

“Thanks Sarabelle, you made my tail wag!”

“That was a pretty good story. I'm starting to suspect that sarabelle is not really a dog but may be a TT regular posting under an assumed name. hmmmm....”

“No, none of us is anywhere near that talented. I might say we are just all Sarabelle wannabes.”

“Sarabelle needs to be published...Gojo...you are missing an opportunity here...

PakPaking wif Sarabelle:
The adventure of the Skeeery Woof Bare

I can see it all now...we once knew her when...

teenage mutant ninja turtles.
The Simpsons
The Hobbit
Lord of the Rings

Empires have been built on animated imaginings...DO IT!!!

Stop wasting your talents teaching...write and travel, travel and write. What could be better.

I'd steal the idea, but Khatru is not as famous as Sarabelle, nor as talented...its your show.

Are there any illustrators out there that could put the bare story into art?”

“Ya know... stikmon may not just be whistling ‘Dixie’.”

“i hate that annoying little squrrell voice that PS types in!



buckshot loved the story sarabell, good pooch. i'm still trying to get all the slobber off the monitor...”

“Sarabelle, your story reminds me of Uncle Remus.”

“But what if Hopper Butt hadn't eaten the majik doodoos? Wood he be ded? Are majik doodoos the founten of yoof?”

“...have majik engernys. If some buddy does good exensizes, and eets majik doodoos to, then they can ressel up ever buddy.


Kno what? I ate some kittykitty doodoos the nother day that was prolly majik to. I resseld up Gissmo ELEVENTY TIMES and had perty good engerny still. I taked a nap any ways tho.”

“I almost did not member to say some theeng to Mr. Bame!

That is a GOOD pikter of the Skeery Woof Bare! Did you awreddy see the Skeery Woof Bare when you was walkin in the woods and runned the nother way so you would not get ded?”

“Sarabelle, that was a damn fine story. Are you interested in traveling back to Montana and becoming a NannyDog? I'm sure you could entertain Newergirl for hours and hours.”

“Baume...nice pic...Gojo...thanks for letting sarabelle post.”

“I was totally for real Sarabelle. I'm in the market for a really good NannyDog. Have you ever watched Walt Disney's Peter Pan w/ your daddy? There is a NannyDog in that movie and she does a good job lookin' after the kids. Do you think you'd be interested?”

“Sarabelle RULES!!!!”

“well sarabelle, i can't say i ever saw skeery woof bare but i have heard him in the night before. from your description and the noises i've heard in the dark, that is what he looks like.”

“Sarabelle posts always make my day. A Sarabelle thread makes my week. Thanks gojo.”