A Sense of Humor

“In these days of turmoil, just remember:

*Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
*Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
*Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian ; world.
*Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.”

“I like that one!”

“One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of his angels to go to earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."


God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down another angel to get a second opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time, too. When the angel returned he
went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."


God was not pleased. So he decided to email the 5% who were good, because He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going.


Do you know what the email said?


No?


Okay, just wondering. I didn't get one either.”

“The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of California asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem:.

A) 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."

B) 65% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio."”

“LOL...looks like they have Sampling problems (LOL)”

“Just depends on how you stratify the sample pool.”

“i soooooooooooooooooo believe this! LOLOLOL”

“Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly; she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location. "Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" She hung up without answering.

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.”

“Car carrying pot crashes into trooper's cruiser

ORANGEBURG, South Carolina (AP) -- It might have been one of the easiest drug busts in the history of the South Carolina Highway Patrol: A car with 43 pounds of marijuana crashed into a trooper's cruiser, authorities said.

The easy bust happened after two patrolmen parked their cars in each lane of northbound Interstate 95 near Santee early Sunday morning following a series of wrecks that had tied up traffic, Highway Patrol Capt. Chris Williamson said.

A Chevrolet Malibu going about 70 mph hit one of the cruisers, causing minor injuries to the trooper behind the wheel, Williamson said.

Officers found two large duffel bags in the trunk with 43 pounds of marijuana in plastic bags, worth more than $150,000, Orangeburg County deputy Warren Pendry said.

They also found a few marijuana cigarettes and cocaine, Pendry said.

The 54-year-old driver from Daytona Beach Shores, Florida, was charged with driving under the influence, possession of cocaine and trafficking marijuana, authorities said.”

“I've seen way too many drug busts on I95 along the SC section of it this past year. All northbound, of course.”