You know you're from Michigan if....

“YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MICHIGAN IF:
1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.
3. At least one member of your family disowns you the
week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.
4. Half the change in you pocket is Canadian...eh!
5. You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the
right.
6. Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to
pass an orange barrel.
7. You know how to play (and pronounce) euchre.
8. It's easy to get Vernors ginger ale and Sanders hot
fudge sauce, and faygo pop.
9. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
10. You've had to switch on the heat and the A/C in
the same day.
11. You bake with soda and drink a pop.
12. The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny.
You consider it a documentary.
13. Your little league game was snowed out.
14. The word "thumb" has geographical, rather than
anatomical significance.
15. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a
spot on your left hand.
16. Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port
Huron to Muskegon.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan
Left".
19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't
that far from Hell.
20. Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.
21. Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy
stores at Christmas.
22. You know when it rained because of the smell of
worms.
23. Owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in
your hometown.”

“Owning a Foreign car still is offensive in my town.”

“I never tire of those!

re: #15 - I always use the inside of my right hand. The lines on the palm resemble freeways
re: #19 - My dad once ran a race in Hell. He got a T-shirt that said "I ran through Hell." LOL”

“What is a "Michigan Left"?”

“When you have to turn right, get in a median turn lane and then head left.”

“I actually have a line running up the center of my right hand that I can use for I-69 when I giving directions, lol!”

“They don't have "Michigan Lefts" near the thumb/forefinger area, eh?”

“Faygo? Hey, what about Town Club? I'll take a purple please...”

“"13. Your little league game was snowed out."
smiley girl
08:08:22 AM
01/14/02

You know you're in White Bear Lake, Minnesota, when you see a softball league game being played on the lake! Snow would be plowed until a playing field size section was cleared on the ice. Stop because of more snow! Not in MN. Just a short time-out to clear the base-line. (Hay, over there! Clear that area behind second base, will ya!)”

“I'll have a Kogel Vienna and a Stroh's.”

“Yum. We were just talking about Town Club last night!”

“now THAT was really funny! Thanks SG!! Good Stuff.”

“...all the vacant lots in your neighborhood and surrounding communities (and every freakin' county, for that matter) have For Sale signs posted on them.”

“...threads like this amuse you.”

“7. You know how to play (and pronounce) euchre.

BOB?


15. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a
spot on your left hand.

I had a certifiably wacked-out Calculus prof like that. I'm sure it was just a coincedence.”

“You know you are a true Michigander when:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on
the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Grand Rapids for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. YA!

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

6. Your whole family wears hushpuppies and blue and gold shirts to
church
on Sunday and they yell Go Blue at the end of every prayer.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked. Hey!

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Farm Fleet
at any given time.

13. AYH and you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.

15. You refer to the Wolverines as "we."

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.

17. You can identify an Ohio accent.

18. You have no problem spelling Kalamazoo.

19. You consider the UP exotic. ya hey!

20. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Past Blue Ribbon.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your
blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

23. Down South to you means Toledo.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.

26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

27. You know how to polka.

28. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

29. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

30. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

31. Ya actch'lly understand Des jokes, and den you forward dem to all
yer Michigander friends.”

“LOL”

“32. You pack it on for the winter and don't take it off for the summer.”

“good typo - Past Blue Ribbon (grin)”

“Too funny!

I agree with all except number 20... *gag*

:o)”

“you've been a fudgie or mocked them”

“...all the empty undeveloped lots in and around your town are For Sale.”

“Dear God, I forgot that fudgie reference.”

“...the only other state you feel comfortable in is Florida because it, too, has water on 3 out of 4 sides.

...which leads to you growing up being able to spell "peninsula."

...you move from the U.P. to northern Wisconsin and they consider you a foreigner.”

“.....might be able to use some of this info for his trip. Up it goes.... :)”

“smiley girl, I was born and raised in the "thumb", Harbor Beach and lived in the U.P., L'Anse.

Thanks for bringing back some fond memories . . . and a few not so fond memories.

White Castle Hamburgers”

“19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't
that far from Hell.

re: #19 - My dad once ran a race in Hell. He got a T-shirt that said "I ran through Hell." LOL"

Hell is in the Lower Penninsula, and Paradise is in the Upper Penninsula? Coincidence? I think not....”

“I've been to Paradise and the snow was a$$hole deep to a giraffe. Made Hell (Michigan) seem like heaven”

“You obviously weren't in the casino there, then! j/k.

I love the U.P., snow or no snow. I'll take it either way.”

“you are a major league baseball player, and you cheer when your paycheck arrives on time.”

“Once on a vacation in Michigan,I told my family that we should go to Hell.I thought it was hilarious,they just stared at me,which made me laugh harder.LOL”

“The creation of Michigan


Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to
call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.

Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Michigan, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills.

The people from Michigan are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They
will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of
peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,"What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them in Ohio, Indiana,Wisconsin and Canada."”

“Skully, that's not right! The people in Wisconsin aren't idiots, lol.”

“Yeah, I've "met" some really "nice" people in Wisconsin.

:)

We need a Lake Michigan tunnel.”

“The tunnel is a few years off, but they're planning on increasing ferry service on top of the Lake this year. 'Course doesn't help indeep Freeze-February.”

“Hey Stumprider!

I've heard about the new Chicago-Waukegon-St. Joseph passenger ferry. And I know that there are plans for a Milwaukee-Muskegon car ferry for 2004. Are there any others?”

“You won't need it by then, RL, most likely. You'll be Mr. and Mrs. RL!!! lol

say, when are we gonna meet up at Kettle Moraine? Well, not that I'm a sucker for winter trips!!”

“I thought some of those routes were starting earlier then 2004.

There is a car ferry (car not necessary!) that runs from Luddington to some place north of Milwaukee (can't think of the city name.) It runs daily, Spring into Fall. I'll see if I track down some details.”

“Found a websit...

http://www.ssbadger.com/

(My wife has to turn the computer on so no easy link!)

The two ports are Luddington MI & Manatowoc (sp?) WI.

Don't know if that helps you. From what I remember it's a couple hours shorter than driving around the southern end of the lake.”

“I got some balance for you too...God had to make someone losers (Michigan) and He had to make someone National Champions...OSU...Good balance.”

“Even a blind dog gets a bone every once in awhile Ohiobackpacker! ;)”

“A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.

After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing.

"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?"

"Ah, those . . ." Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Michigan. They're still too cold and wet to burn.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“It's the only state where every first grader can actually pronounce "peninsula."

But, really, Hell isn't so bad. I've hiked there many times. It's definitely not as good at Paradise, but not bad for the lower peninsula.”

“lmao RL. =)

Good joke Skullcap!”

“LMAO Skully!”

“I went to college in Michigan. Michiganders know more ways to kill themselves in snow than anyone else on the planet.”

“D E T R O I T

For those planning to visit Detroit...

You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit.
If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo
and here for the country Music hoe-down.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own
version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour
is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
Weekends are open game.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed
out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the
light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting
in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from
getting shot.

Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit
metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75 and I-275 is a way of
life. Just deal with it.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory
defect or they are "out-of-towners."

All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted
speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even
think of
allowing more than one car length between cars!

The attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT
ornamental.

"DO NOT get out of your car" Never stare at the driver of the car with
the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."

If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people
are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit.' I would
suggest you duck.

I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge."

That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a
map.

The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile
past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right.
NOW you have gone left.”

“Brings back memories!”

“Hah! I'm copying, pasting, and emailing this to my wife!

The "Michigan Left"! Gotta love it. There was even an article in the Institute of Transportation Engineers (ITE) Journal about them....

My favorite is going up and down Woodward with ice and snow everywhere at 60mph with half a car length separation - talk about an E ticket ride!”