Zappa thread

“A "MORE HUMANE" WAY TO DEFEAT THE RADICAL MUSLIM ENEMY - Back in the '80s after the bombing of the Marines in Beirut, Frank Zappa had a brilliant idea for combatting Islamic-based terrorism. Since Muslims who died in battle in the name of Allah had to be "clean" to achieve their final resting place, Frank thought it to be a good idea to develop an "Aerosol Pork Grenade" for use against these terrorists. Any true "warrior of Allah" would have to stop and take a bath or surrender lest he be killed with the stench of rancid bacon on himself.

"You may come at me with a knife and a box cutter, Mr. Atta, but I will counter with a ham sandwich and a half-rack of ribs. See you in Cleveland."”

“watch out where those huskies go do not eat that yellow snow”

“Ahhhh, true, ped (good to see you Ped -- where do you hide yourself?? hehee)

I've heard jokes about doing stuff to the Taliban, etc. with pork. A guy I work with was in Ireland when the attack happened. He found out from a Muslim there just what they'd do to avoid pork.

I think pork could be put to work somehow in this "war." Pork bombs with bacon-flavored smoke. Drops of ham. You get the picture.

And to deter flying terrorists, pigs at the boarding gate.

Pork... "the other (red) white (and blue) meat"...”

“Didn't FZ also suggest we send them EVERY poodle in America?”

“"My Guitar wants to kill your momma......:)"

Great song.......:0”

“Once again, Frank Strikes From Afar. It's a beautiful thing.


Remember Sheik Yerbouti...



ImaybetotallywrongbutI'ma-”

“we have millions of gallons of liquid hog exhaust in storage ponds here in the us...
fill eupertankers with same... send to mohameden country of your choice by transferring to modified air tankers which then spray the contents out at 30k + 'and crisscross the entire country... they would have no food /water/ clothes/ shelter/ weapons ... everything would be contaminated with hogsh!t, they couldn't even breathe without violating themselves...cheap and effective!”

“Flies all green and buzzin',
in this dungeon of despair.
An evil prince eats a steaming pig,
in a chamber right near there.
He eats the snouts and the trotters first.
The loins and the groins is soon dispersed.
His carvin' style is well rehearsed.
He stands and shouts:

All men be cursed!
All men be cursed!
All men be cursed!
All men be cursed!”

“She had a cat for a pet
And no TV set
And she was loading her llamas
But she wasn't done yet
She had long blonde hair
And a devilish stare.....”

“Is that Ameretto Jello?”

“Mama stroked his dinger
Daddy got a stinky finger
In those days of long ago
Later in the evening
She'd complain
They'd refrain
He'd go home and hone his bone
A tragic case maybe
But also true
I'm sure you know
But that's the way it goes sometimes
You just might find yourself in the clutches of some
Wild Love”

“Ameretto Jello sounds about right.

I told her, "she was alright, but I couldn't come in tonight.....maybe tomorrow night."
~@%^>”

“The FAA should require that a pig be on board EVERY passenger flight.

They could have little flight attendant outfits and greet the passengers!

That would be far cheaper than trying to "sh!t on all the Shiites".”

“When will the madness end? Jerry Garcia, keyboardist for the Grateful Deaf, just died. Apparently, he was in a hospital for some kind of treatment when he choked on a ham sandwich and three donuts. Jerry, we hardly knew ye. What a long, long trip it's been.”

“This is a great thread...:)”

“FZ put out 60 different albums.

The modern musician refuses to die.”

“Hey! There's my 'Warning / Guarantee' t-shirt! Cool.”

“dominus vobiscum
et cum spiritu tuo
won't you eat my sleazy pancakes
just for saintly Alfonso?
they're so light and fluffy white
we'll make a fortune by the night.”

“The late, great Frank Zappa is back in book form! Barry Miles is releasing a bio on (IMO) the greatest musician of the era...

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books/12/08/frank.zappa/index.html”

“hmm is this a big hint for your birthday?”

“Happy Birthday, Treebeard !!!”

“My birthday is on the same day as those godforsaken Iraqi elections!”

“LOL yup and he will be as old as rock n roll
50”

“I can hear his joints creaking from here.



Maybe that was a poor choice of words....”

“As old as rock 'n roll, oy !!”

“dur.... Take Two!


”

“Oh crap !!

Looking at that picture made me have seizures !!”

“Sorry bout that!

heh-heh-heh...




And Now... to close the damn 'center' tag.... Again!

last edited: 12/12/04 3:23:47 PM”

“test.”

“Did anyone catch the "google ads" that have been inserted in this thread? For the National Hog Farmer and its articles and for a source for Pig Snouts. Man, FZ would love it.

Got to see him twice in concert, including the Overnight Sensation tour. Wowza.”

“He's the only one I ever had front row center seats for. A friend of mine gave them to me as a present to the Bayfront center in St. Petersburg. It was the 'YOu Are What You Is Tour" with Bobby Martin.

His concerts were, technically, the tightest and most "precision timed" shows I have ever seen.”