AN URGENT MESSAGE TO HUMANITY

“Marvin, thank you for your reply to my offer, and I'll be happy to answer your questions.

I am an alien, yes, and I don't think it'll be a while before humans can come up with time travel technology on their own. I thought you would have immediatley known I was an alien when I told you I have said time machine. Anyhoo, I'm down from planet Artexicon just outside of Cygnus X7. We inhabit an M-class planet, and I'm here on earth doing a study on game shows (see my website, just click on my name below and then the link). As you can see from my website, I haven't had too much luck so far, but it's not like an Artexicon to give up so easily! However, we are a good, peaceful race, and we wish no harm or disruptive interference with the human race.

They physics behind time travel are very complex, and again, there are only a handful of humans who can understand it. That Einstein guy was a hoot, him and I have had several enlightening discussions over capuccinos.

Anyhoo, you would exist as a different entity altogether, and would observe your 4 year old self as a different person should you travel back in time. However, I'd advise against making contact with yourself, or any others for that matter, should you go back in time.

I need money for airfare to L.A. so I can appear on the Weakest Link in the NBC Burbank studios. That's why I need to sell my machine. How do you expect to pay, cash or check?”

“Pardon my gramatical errors on my last post, I'm at the time of the week when my fingers are twice their normal length.. it'll subside by tonight or tomorrow morning..”

“Thats the problem with dem damnable time travelin aliens: they go and steal your thoughts and have them and post them on the web years before you have them.

The Bass Turds!”

“Don't you hate when that happens?”

“I know I do! (dripping with sarcasm)”