Suthnahs

“My mother's side of the family has been in Texas for many generations. This email came via a 91 y/o (what do I call my grandmothers cousin?) relative.




A TRUE SOUTHERNER.....



> Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a
> hissie fit and a conniption.
>
> A true Southerner can show or point out to you the
> general direction of cattywumpus.

> A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is
> --as in "Going to town, be back directly."
>
> Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar"
> is not a request for the white, granular sweet
> substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
>
> All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
>
> True Southerners know instinctively that the best
> gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
> a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
> tater salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they
> also know to add some hot biscuits and nanner puddin'.)
>
> True Southerners grow up knowing the difference
> between "pert' near" and "a right far piece."
>
> True Southerners both know and understand the
> differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
> po'white trash.
>
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
> the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
>
> True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as
> a noun, verb and adverb.
>
> True Southerners have always known that the South is
> more American than the rest of the country.

Note: Despite my Southern kin and my own time living in Texas... this test reveals me to be more Yanqui than Suthnah cuzz I did not know the meaning of "cattywumpus" (tho even my mah who was born and raised in Texas didn't get it).”

“Classic stuff!
I got that same E-mail once.
Thanks for posting it ped!”

“I got a similar list with some differences once... I think the other list said that true southerners knew:

what happened when you swallow tobacco juice

the difference between Yankees and damn yankees

and a few other things I cant remember...”

“LOL,.. I knew all of those too Ped except the one you missed, I`ve heard it, I never was brave enough to ask!LOL”

“BF: Hmmm mebbe its more of a "deep South" rather than Tex/Ark kinda word. I gather cattywumpus means "Katty cornered" literally, but is used to mean "outta whack" or "skewed." But mebbe the real Suthnas will know.”

“A hissy fit is a temporary thing while a conniption has more serious reprocusions.”

“Yup Ped, it does, I just asked my mother. She laughed at me!

Dude you got it goin` on!LOL”

“I was going to say... I believe 'cattywumpus' is more of a state of being rather than a place, to wit: "I tried to boil some water but my stove was all cattywumpus."

also sometimes spelled with an 'a'... 'cattywampus'

This reminds me of a few more gems. They make for great campfire stories, once you master the pronunciation.”

“And always remember:

y'all is singular
all y'all is plural
all y'all's is plural possessive

have a good day!”

“So to use these in a sentence...

"Y'all better behave or I'll have to kick all y'all's ass."

(sic)”

“Nope.



Use correctly, the sentence would read:

"All y'all had better behave or I'll have to kick all y'all's asses."

or

"Y'all had better behave or I'll have to kick y'all's ass."

The plural or singular must remain consistent throughout the sentence.



This grammar lesson brought to you by the Kentucky Colonels.”

“All y'all need to read William Faulkner. I had a whole semester in college on southern literature, and I liked Faulkner the best.”

“Y'all (you all) is not singular.”

“Faulkner, eh?

hahahahhahhahahahaahahahahhahaa


Southern linguistics from a Kentuckian? Heck! You guys are so far north, you're practically in OHIO...”

“Not you, Faulkner! THE Faulkner.”

“You didn't really just make an OHIO CRACK, did you?”

“Yes, 'Cousin Bill', *G*. He and my father could've been twins.

"Faulkner had the right idea about mail. He would hold it up to the light and if it didn't have a checque in it, he would throw it away."

Shelby Foote to Brian Lamb
"Booknotes"... "In Depth"
Fall 2001



Not OHIO! Holy Toledo! (wasn't 'Klinger' from Toledo?)

Geez, I thought that was a KENTUCKY crack, LOLOLOLOL... but ya know, 'eye of the beholder' and all that jazz...


An' Brer Fox, he lay low.”