Dude.......Close One!

“I take my dog for a walk just about everyday. Well yesterday I was running with her down this dirt road behind my house. I noticed this black fuzzy thing sticking up through the tall grass that has grown around the telephone pole. I slowed down but the dog ran right up close within about 3' or so. When I saw that it was a skunk's tail...I ran off the road franticly calling the dog. Finally she came to me before the skunk unloaded on her. wheeewww...that was close!!!

I could just imagine bringing my wife's dog home to her smelling like a pole cat...she would not be impressed ;)”

“No, but the dog would.”

“What?.. you taking lessons from me, Buddur? That looks like one of MY thread titles!

:)”

“Dogs are really dumb when it comes to skunks and porcupines. Sorry Sarabelle, but its true.”

“I guess nobody uses the Subject Box like US!”

“Huh?”

“How else are you gonna do it so it'll all fit?”

“"I take my dog for a walk ...........I could just imagine bringing my wife's dog home to her smelling like a pole cat."

Its kinda humorous that the dog starts out as your dog but if it gets "skunked" its her dog. Right on man!!! Good call!!!”

“I go through something similar every fall when the joy of life for my labs becomes having a roll in dead salmon. As they get older they are becoming more aware that such activity is followed by a very angry rockbuck picking them up by the neck and butt and spiking them in the river a half dozen times. They're gonna learn sooner or later...”

“I was just going to say... Yeah, that was pretty sneaky, eh Briar!

There was something else I caught on a show about bear attacks: if you're out in the woods and smell something dead, It Doesn't Pay To Investigate. You don't want to get between a Grizzly and his lunch.

nonononononononononononono.”

“When I was in Basic training one night I was pulling fire guard... basically you walk around the barrack buildings with a flashlight and make sure everything is ok. I was pulling the 2a to 3a watch and when it hit 3a my relief showed up and it was time for me to hit the rack. As I strolled happily to my barracks I was just thinking I could get a couple more hours of sleep. When I was about to hit the first flight of stairs (about 4-5 of em') I noticed a black furry thing on the stairs... my mind snapped to attention and I backed away slowly... I ended up sitting on the ground talking to the skunk asking him quietly to leave... after minutes that felt like hours he decided to go under the stairs, that's when I leapt up and ran as fast as I could, jumped and clear all five steps and continued to run up the other stairs until I was safe inside the 4th floor! WHAT A RUSH”

“Is it just me, or does the stench of a skunk resemble the smell of burnt ice cream?

I don't think I've ever actually smelled burnt ice cream, but if I did, I imagine it would smell something like a skunk.”

“thank you Jack Handey”

“On a chilly fall night in '87 in Vermont we were set upon by a skunk.

At that time of year the roads are littered with road kill skunks.

I suppose when things cool off they are on the move looking for a place to hibernate or just go to ground.

This stinky guy thought our carport would be nice and the overturned canoe looked good.

Our dumbass German Shepard saw fit to tangle with El Reeko and the battle was on.

Neither critter would give up and for two nights the stench grew worse.
There wasn't a breath of wind during this time and the air was chill and very damp.
The stank hung like turned-on stallion in a herd of hot mares and penetrated the tightly sealed house.

We were all ready to go mad and it was decided that I should BLOW THE FnCKER AWAY!!!

Armed with a long-barreled .357 and a flashlight and earplugs I ventured out to the carport.
From about 10 meters I aimed with both hands holding the light and weapon together.

The first shot sent the light flying and tumbled the smelly thing back.
I later discovered that the first shot had given him a "haircut" right down the middle of the top of his head.
I fired again and again and sent gravel flying........but he
just crawled under the canoe.

Well, I was totally immersed in the stench and lost any fear of getting close, so I stood right over the bastard and after firing a total of eight rounds FINALLY put him down!

I carried IT with a shovel off a ways and buried it as deep as I could.

It took me a while to figure out WHY the hell I couldn't hit the thing.

The gun is sighted for 25 meters or so and at close range the barrel is actually aiming high.
It took me eight rounds to kill a skunk at close range!

Each time I would fire the flashlight would fly and I would anxiously retrieve it and check on my target......doh! he's still movin'.

Once I started shooting the dumb dog got lost.
It took a long time before we let her back in the house.”

“...even stunks.

Yall jus dont unnerstand.”

“BOL!”

“Anyone remember the episode of Dog Boy when he lost his date in a dark bar, and his only way of finding her was to go around sniffing people's butts, and the manager catches him and says "OK you pencilneck geek...Nobody sniffs my girl's butts, but me!

Remember that...that was cool

(in a Chris Farley voice when he interviews famous people)

”

“Commie Tommie,,,,,I never thought of you as a killer, what are you doing with a gun? 8 shots to take out a skunk, LOL what a liberal. Couldn't find a garden hose or some rocks to throw? ,,,, killer!!”

“LOL, Tom T., that sounded more like a Tim Allen show.”

“Tom, not only did you have to shoot that sucka but you had to take time to reload...POW!”

“How long did it take before they let you back in the house?”

“Only run in with a skunk I ever had was when I was 13. Was up north w/ afriend on lake MI. Poor bugger got his head stuck in a yoplait yougurt container. After watching him stumble around blind for an hour the friends cousin desided to put him out of his misery. He shot that skunk about 75 times with a bb gun. It sprayed all over the cousin. Poor skunk.”

“I told my skunk tale on another thread. Trapped in a bivy, my face looking at his tail, I was lucky and he left.”