deep thoughts

“Simply distinguishing understanding from articulate judgment is not enough, for all parts of a
statement or of a line of reasoning are not simultaneously present in explicit form in thought or in
speech. "Explicit form" means the linguistic expression of a thought, the series of words that we
generate in sequence either in actual speech or in silent thought. As a sentence is orally
generated, it never exists all at once at the same time, yet the speaker at the beginning tends to
have some grasp of what it is he is going to say and then knows at the end what he has said. A
listener, of course, does not know, normally, what another is going to say; and so it is only in the
silence that follows speech that the listener can evaluate the entire expression and derive an
understanding of it. At the beginning of his thought a person need not in fact be at all clear just
what it is that he is going to say in order to express what he has "in mind": struggling in
mid-sentence to complete a thought and clarify a vague intention is a common experience.
Likewise, we may discover at the end of a thought that the sentence generated wasn't quite what
we wanted. In this the written expression of language has been misleading, for seeing a sentence
displayed in writing seems to lead us to think that it somehow exists that way already before it is
generated in speech. In the theories of generative and transformational grammar in linguistics
there seems to be a similar impression or assumption that whole sentences are produced all at
once and that certain rules only operate by taking sentences as wholes.”

“Simply distinguishing understanding from articulate judgment is not enough, for all parts of a statement or of a line of reasoning are not simultaneously present in explicit form in thought or in speech. "Explicit form" means the linguistic expression of a thought, the series of words that we generate in sequence either in actual speech or in silent thought. As a sentence is orally generated, it never exists all at once at the same time, yet the speaker at the beginning tends to have some grasp of what it is he is going to say and then knows at the end what he has said. A listener, of course, does not know, normally, what another is going to say; and so it is only in the silence that follows speech that the listener can evaluate the entire expression and derive an understanding of it. At the beginning of his thought a person need not in fact be at all clear just what it is that he is going to say in order to express what he has "in mind": struggling in mid-sentence to complete a thought and clarify a vague intention is a common experience. Likewise, we may discover at the end of a thought that the sentence generated wasn't quite what we wanted. In this the written expression of language has been misleading, for seeing a sentence displayed in writing seems to lead us to think that it somehow exists that way already before it is generated in speech. In the theories of generative and transformational grammar in linguistics there seems to be a similar impression or assumption that whole sentences are produced all at once and that certain rules only operate by taking sentences as wholes.”

“That's easy for You to say...”

“Deep thoughts by Jack Handey:

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs on Mars?" When no one laughed, I was real embarrassed. I don't think people should make you feel that way.

One thing that makes me believe in UFOs is, sometimes I lose stuff.”

“LMAO!!!!!”

“It`s strange the things you`ll sometimes do and it on a dare
seems it had something to do with my rump and the amount of hair
I hurt so bad only my eyes worked and them just a-blinkin`
I lay there in a puddle of my own pain, what was I thinkin`
they said it was sure funny, but I still couldn`t see
why they`d laugh so hard and why did the world turn on me
then it made little differance that I`d won, there`s more than winin`
every frickin` bone in my body hurt so much and my head was just a-spinin`
what is it with those dares and what`s the big deal
tempt fait if you want to, but I don`t think I will”

“i prefer deep throats myself


heeheehee


deep thoughts scare me”

“HOLY #&%!$ BATMAN....Vyx just said she likes deep throats...i think i'm gonna go play in traffic”

“Is pure and innocent :)”

“Customer: Hello, I would like to buy a fish license, please.

Shopkeeper: A what?

C: A license for my pet fish, Eric.

S: How did you know my name was Eric?

C: No no no, my fish's name is Eric, Eric the fish. He's an halibut.

S: What?

C: He is...an...halibut.

S: You've got a pet halibut?

C: Yes. I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.

S: You must be a looney.

C: I am not a looney! Why should I be tied with the epithet looney merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabardo has a pet prawn called Simon and you wouldn't call him a looney; furthermore, Dawn Pailthorpe, the lady show-jumper, had a clam, called Stafford, after the late Chancellor, Allan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an haddock! So, if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche du temps perdu' a looney, I shall have to ask you to step outside!

S: Alright, alright, alright. A license.

C: Yes.

S: For a fish.

C: Yes.

S: You are a looney.

C: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog Eric, and I've got a license for me pet cat Eric...

S: You don't need a license for your cat.

C: I bleeding well do and I got one. He can't be called Eric without it--

S: There's no such thing as a bloody cat license.

C: Yes there is!

S: Isn't!

C: Is!

S: Isn't!

C: I bleeding got one, look! What's that then?

S: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon.

C: The man didn't have the right form.

S: What man?

C: The man from the cat detector van.

S: The looney detector van, you mean.

C: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.

S: What cat detector van?

C: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.

S: Housinge?

C: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant!. I never seen so many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards! And Eric, being such a happy cat, was a piece of cake.

S: How much did you pay for this?

C: Sixty quid, and eight for the fruit-bat.

S: What fruit-bat?

C: Eric the fruit-bat.

S: Are all your pets called Eric?

C: There's nothing so odd about that: Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul!

S: No he didn't!

C: Did!

S: Didn't!

C: Did, did, did, did, did and did!”

“?”

“

Clerk: Cyril Connolly?

Praline: No, semi-carnally!


(much more)”

“And if these words you do not heed
Your pocketbook just kinda might
recede
When some man comes along and
claims godly need
He will clean you out right through your
tweed

*That's right, remember there is a big
difference between kneeling down
and bending over...*
He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account...
All from those chumps who was
*Born again*
Oh yeah, oh yeah

He's got seven limousines
And a private plane...
All for the use of his
*Special Friends*
Oh yeah, oh yeah
He's got thousand-dollar suits
And a Wembley Tie...
Girls love to stroke it
While he's on the phone
Oh yeah, oh yeah

At the House of Representatives
He's a groovy guy...
When he Gives Thanks
He is not alone...

He is dealin'
He is really dealin'
IRS Can't determine
Where *The Hook* is

It is easy with the Bible
To pretend that
You're in Show Biz

They won't get him
They will never get him
For the naughty stuff
That he did

It is best in cases like this
To pretend that
You are stupid

He's got *Presidential Help*
All along the way

He says the grace
While the lawyers chew
Oh yeah
They sure do

And the Govenors agree to say:
*"He's a lovely man!"*
He makes it easier for
Them to screw
All of you...
Yes, that's true!

'Cause he helps put *The Fear of God*
In the Common Man
Snatchin' up money
Everywhere he can
Oh yeah
Oh yeah

He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account
You ain't got nothin', people
You ain't got nothin', people
You ain't got nothin', people
Thank the man...oh yeah


FZ '81”

“And what if he is the Prez?


(great googly-moogly)”

“Jay-zus!!!”

“This has me thinking about Bush in light of that old Cheech & Chong routine... when the guy said...

"I used to be messed up on drugs. Now I'm all messed up on the Lord."


(pretty dang skerry)”

“I wonder if he smears the girls with chocolate syrup and straps 'em on?”

“"Film at Eleven"?”

“Ah yes, the 'ole tool of the government and Industry too.”

“When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of
coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed it was

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if
the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that the jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else - the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled, "I'm glad you asked. It goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."”

“Ewker, when I heard that it was a beer. and he said there's always time for a beer with friends. Same point I guess”

“Kühl!

I e-mailed it to my daughter who's in examsr right now.

Doug
last edited: 4/21/05 11:35:34 AM”

“That's great, Ewk. Thanks...”

“I like that.”

“I like this better.

"If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now."

Jack Handy
last edited: 4/21/05 12:18:58 PM”