Ode to my Pee Bottle(FAO PantsCandy)

“Here's a poem I wrote on the JMT last summer, a love poem of sorts:

Pee Bottle, Pee Bottle,
Your my friend
You drink my piss no matter when
You swallow so quick,
and drink so deep
your the reason I get good sleep
Your mouth is perfectly wide enough
to fit my Joneser
unless I'm poppin a morning bonor

Pee Bottle, Pee Bottle
I don't care what others think...
with me you will stay
as long as you drink..drink..drink”

“Nicely done Nicely done

You are very talented”

“Well, at least it wasn't a stupid hykue (SP?). Very funny too! I tried the piss bottle thing. Used a Big Slam and at 3 am after about 8 beers and already one pee, it doesn't go so well. Nothing worse than being half done and the thing is FULL. I hate having to "pinch it off"!”

“tomorrow's mine and Tarp Monkey's trip to New Hamster, and i bet i'm gonna wish i could use one of those, gross as it sounds! :-D”

“Gawd Nigal! A Big Slam? That has to be a record or something! I'll be right back- I gotta go do an experiment!”

“That was a two use attempt and as I said, I had about 8 beers and gobs of water. I have the bladder of a little girl.”

“Gallon ziplocks are the ticket.
Large capacity, and don't look like a refreshing bottle of Crystal Lite in the morning.”

“Hey lyra (and Tarpy) have a great trip! Full trip report when ya get back!

and a tip: wide mouth nalgenes”

“Pee Bottle, Pee Bottle

she frets about exactly how to go

shakes her head and whines a little

about her wet camel toe”

“I think that I shall never see,
A beverage as lovely as my pee

Poems are made by fools you see,
But everyone should drink their pee”

“Marvin drinks urine
That's what we're learnin.

Oh fell wind of fate
This news comes too late.

For Marv's drink kindles damage
His brain it doth ravage.

No tinfoil headgear,
Nor shield nor rapier,
can mend what the pee cup hath wrought.

The horror....”

“So, who's going to start calling their PeeBottle Marvy from now on?”

“Hahahahahaha! Now THAT's funny stuff!”

“Ideal with my lunch,
washing down ham.
Or tuna or pizza,
or even a yam

Delicious with dinner
at home or on the town.
And no matter how fine the place,
watch me guzzle it down!

No Shasta. No Tab.
No Orangina. No Slice.
Pee’s the one for me.
Who else agrees?

Go sip on your Snapples,
your Cokes and your Surges.
Only Pee Bottle
can satisfy my urges.”

“I gotta go to the Marvy

Don't drink from that--it's my Marvy!

When's the last time you washed out your Marvy, you scumbag?

Damn, my Marvy busted; where's the seamsealer?

Hey big fella, wanna try my wide mouth Marvy?

Yikes! my Marvy's frozen--better suck it up and go back to sleep.”

“I kind of always thought Peebottle Marvin was like Jerry Sinfield's childhood friend Fragile Frankie (his summer George) from summer camp who would run into the woods every time he got upset, dig a hole and sit in it.”

“MarvinGardens - you still interested in my time machine? You never got back to me, how rude!”

“Marvy's finally found a thread where he truly fits in!”

“His beverage of choice is urine straight up.
He drinks it fresh from the tap.
No bottles or cups to get in his way.
Marvin sucks it right out of his lap.”

“I've looked everywhere for you;
Where have you been all my life?
Where are you now?
Has someone craftily stolen you away
from me?
How?
Oh, I miss you terribly!
I miss your song, your zest,
You sweet, sweet, nalgene bottle.
No. No.
No one could ever have taken you away,
For in my hollow head
I hear that familiar echo:
"Forever Pee Bottle”
Always for me.
Burp!
Oh, there you are.”

“Sweet Faucet of Life

Whenever I smell urine, I think of you

My Pee Bottle”

“You guys are pretty good at this.”

“bumpity bump”

“a warm stream flows within my tent ,
the bottle fills ,
i am content .”

“my eyeballs float,
i grab the bottle ,
peeace at last !”

“pee pee pee pee pee
void bladder in the bottle
Marvy will drink it”

“i guess you could say that this thread is kinda pi$$ing itself away...”

“last night was a good reminder for the next trip.

I will for sure have mine with me,
that bottle for pee,
so I can pee, in a moonlite night,
within my sack and out of sight,
no, noone will see,
how good it can be.”

“I'm just thankful that this thread isn't entitled "Ode to my Poop Bottle".”

“ROFLMAO Artex and Sir Pete!”

“LMAO!

Man, I can appreciate the need for one of those pee bottles on those cold mountain nights!
hmmmmm...”

“Keep it by your feet for warming your toes.”

“Yech!

Say, how many of you actually use pee bottles in the winter? At FYAO, it got down to 19 below zero one night, and I still went outside to pee... twice. It sucked, but I just couldn't bring myself to use a pee bottle. Same deal during other cold, winter trips.”

“Hey, I can't believe I haven't seen this thread. Yeah, I remember the poem Stevie.

Artex, you bet I use the pee bottle. Hell, I use it no matter the temp. It's one of the 10 essentials! :)”

“For real? I think the hassle of getting out of a warm, cozy sleeping bag is worth it... as opposed to possibly spilling a few drops. I guess it's all in technique, but I personally don't care to practice. :-)”

“Yeah, there's a learning "curve" to "it".”

“Sometimes, pissing is the best. Just sayin'.”

“Never felt a real need to stay in my bag to take a leak.”

“you don't really need to unzip too much..just drag it out the top of your sleeping bag..i don't like peeing in the snow...but i usually know how many inches we got that night”

“I must resist .... resist .... resist .... making dumb ass comments about getting inches”

“I don't have a list of my ten least favorite things to do, but if I did....

Carrying a bottle of urine would be on it.



Do you guys pee in a bottle at home?”

“a friend of mine broke down on an interstate in Indiana. When it became apparent he couldn't fix the problem himself, he called a towtruck and waited....and waited...and waited. Problem was he had to urinate BAD and being on a busy interstate he was finally forced to crouch under his car to relieve himself. The towtruck finally arrived. The driver of the towtruck began assessing the situation. Upon seeing the "puddle" under the car he wondered what fluids my friends car was losing. That's went he bent down, stuck his fingers in the puddle and then sniffed it....LMAO”

“i opt for the ez-leaker...

www.ezleaker.com

or the bumper dumper....

www.bumperdumper.com”

“lol..why do you think i put such an easy one up there HOI...lol”

“One of the benifits to using a floorless tent. I don't have to use a pee bottle. Life is good. : D .”

“ewww....wow..that was WRONG...skully..you get props on that.....but what if you froze to the ground?”

“Pee bottles are no fun. You can't even write your name in the snow when you use one.”

“i like writing in the snow..specially when it's in "her" handwriting!”

“Who takes a dump in a bag while riding in a car and then tosses it out the window? I can understand the piss bottles but the #&%!$ bags! What the hell?”