MEL CHECKS IN....

“I figured if I was ever going to be able to participate in anything here, ever again, the most obvious thing for me to do would be to post my own thread.

So if you're not an established regular, or a less than constipated irregular, this thread will mean nothing to you.

Ta ta.
Be on your way......

So with this warning in hand, you won't need to waste your time here pondering the complexities and gossip of the ancient and distant TT universe.

I want to find out who's pregnant, who's married, who's divorced, who's a new grandparent, who's had puppies, who's unemployed, who's converted, who's stirring up political #&%!$ (Solitary, My Man - Tom Terrific, My Sweet?), where's the next Lime Jello Convention, has Bacpac beat the figuritive, or literal, liberal crap out of anyone lately, what's Kleeyfaces' squirrel doing with his nuts, is Radman still a God, how is Oldtimers' knee, how is the diet program working, Who is Jesus, what is your new gun, how is Super Troll, what is Snakeboy/ Camel Fluffer up to (What do you think of THAT?),are there new Phil Photos...

Is TT overrun with newbies, is the earth flat, how tight is your underwear, do you wear underwear, what is your favorite beer, what is your favorite scotch, do you get crotch itch, do they drag in the dirt, do you have floaters, no-bra, stretch-bra, shave armpits, braid armpits, drink beer, pack beer, sleep naked, sleep with a friend, sleep with Sarabelle, cultivate dope with your AK47 ala' Gentle Ben, pick your nose, fart, scratch your butt, bite your toenails, hike barefoot, use fire to cook, read or not......

Puff, puff....

The llama hiking trips are in gear.
There are several.
They are popular.
They are in the John Muir Wilderness in the Sierra Nevada's of California.

You can sign up.
If there is room.
If we like you.
If I answer.

JVZ will do his naked "Antler Dance".

Phil may be coerced into constructing one of his spectacular dutch oven dining extravaganzas at the start of one (two?) of our llama blow-outs.

JVZ has D.O and will travel here to assist, as will I (not travel - assist with MY DO).

There will be T-shirts for the fourth - or is it fifth? - Llama Rama Hiking Series (last I heard, Solitary, our resident TT artiste' was designing them).

For recent developments on MY events....

I just returned from a 10 plus day car camp safari in Death Valley Nat.l Park - Saline Valley.

Hot springs - clothing optional- car camping in the desert at 1500 feet.

Primitively developed car camp area which helps keep the Park Service's meddling fingers out of most of the place.

Obviously, whatever meddling the PS does is to the detriment of the surrounding camp areas.

Someday, ask me about the "Vault" toilet fiasco there.

OK....

So what have I left out?

I have more flamigos, despite the kidnapping of one of them (Freddie) from my yard by a misguided, flamingo molesting, semi-TT'er.

This year there should be eight flamingos here.
No, plastic flamingos do not reproduce.
Discover Card, does.

Care to add to this the madness?

I will read this thread only.

So what, you say?

Go roast yourself a turkey while my reply to that rhetorical question slowly grinds itself into this thread.

I will fart, pick my nose, and braid my armpit hair while I wait to see all of the above slowly appear on-screen, drawn, as it were, out of the internet cosmos.

Kissy Poo....

Auntie M”

“Oh, I miss reading your threads!

Can you really braid your armpit hair? If you can, I'm impressed. I get sweater jokes when I run around without my shirt and I can't braid my armpit hair.

Maybe we should start a new jello thread. I miss the old one.”

“I miss Mel's threads and I've only been here for about a year or so.”

“But I thought it was going to be nekked women doing the Antler Dance?

Welcome back Mel and best regards.

Hey Phil,
I need to talk or email you about some more dutch oven photographs. The ones you sent are pretty good but I need some shot in less bright sunlight. Send me your email address again. Mine is radams5451@aol.com.”

“Let's see.

Lipstick was missing in action for a while, but somebody kept us from worrying by calling her on the tellie.

romance abounds, AmyG and Dare, Skully and Goose are the ones I know of.

Somebody just got back from Peru, and we hope will post photos.

naked ape (I think it was) had a cool trip to Oahu. Had me reminiscing.

Too bad about your flamingo. Do they migrate? I saw one near Ketchican a few years ago, high in the trees along the ferry route.

TownDawg is going to have a lawyer in the family.

Rad got promoted and is too goo for us now.

I hear six year old footsteps.”

“Hi Mel sweetie!
I miss reading your posts,.. you always could make me crack a smile, or spew coffee,.. just thinking about it now brings on a smile.

Take care sweetie!”

“Mel...Kiss my grits!”

“Mel, I got a WEIRD e-mail from you at my hotmail address, about a KLEZ32 removal tool. Now I know that's a virus. Were you sending our viruses, Auntie M?? OR... was that some virus e-mail in and of itself?? LOL!! Was hotmail, so it made no dif anyhoo. Just wondering. I think I sent a reply to it....

Good to hear from you!!! :-)”

“Hey Mel, I am getting married in less then a week. In three weeks time we take off on a 3 month climbing/filming road trip. I sent you a few emails, but they all got bounced back... we definitely want to set something up with you and da' llamas in the Sierra. What do you think of this?”

“Mel, m'dear, you're missed, fer shure. I'm crushed that you didn't write your curiosity of my status in that original post, but then, I know oh so many more closer to the top of that list... after all, I don't braid my armpit hair.

Still, here I sit, anxiously awaiting Spring to roll around the corner...

Hey... I thought the Death valley thing was mid-March? Did you get a little antsy to get outa the drifts?

Great to see you, as always. Force be with ya, and all that other krap...”

“Well, if this is the only way I get to talk to people, then this is the way it's going to be.

I suppose this is more of a "cut to the chase" thread.

I miss the hell out of everyone and I'm so disappointed I can't sit around and BS as in days of yore.

You wouldn't believe how long it takes for just these three items to finally show up on my screen so I can post an answer.

I've got on-line underwear, and sporting goods catalogs that take less time to load.
That's with all the little pictures and type.

What is it with this place, anyway?

Perhaps we should start another lime jello thread?

The only problem with that would be the amount of time it would take to watch the thread show up to reply to it, or even read it.

Sol - you have this fixation on nubile naked women. You adorable dirty old man, you.
No, The Antler Dance, it seems, is performed by naked GUYS. Too bad.

Well, I wouldn't have a problem with that. Smirk, smirk.

At least the gossip sounds good - love affairs and all - lawyers, etc.
And Raddy got promoted?
To what?

Big Footie my Dear...Happy to hear you are hanging in there.
I miss reading your poetry. You are a romantic in your soul.

Lizs - wow, I don't know where something like that came from.

Perhaps someone is posing as me?
I didn't even know you had a hotmail addy.

I got your e-mail recently and answered that one, but it also addressed the virus question - one I still can't figure out.

Oh, yippie. This is fun.

I may have to drop in more often to see what's new on this thread since I no longer have the time to read all the threads at the beginning.

Keep those cards and letters coming.

Lost Tonto”

“Soooo, you were off to the Naked Desert Natl Park a bit early this year!

"Off with their clothes!"

Do the flamingoes all have names?

Is it true that you were cavorting in the desert wearing only windsocks?

Did you see the Elvis Shrine?”

“Mel, I'd tell you who Jesus is but I don't want to give it away to the born-agains.
Do your flamingos ever get altitude sickness up there?
My wife has recently begun asking me to sleep fully clothed.
There is a massive campaign to get Kleetn banned from this site. He is not the pure nut-loving guy he once was, and my haiku intimidates him.
Lizs is a virus.
See you later.”

“Yes, yes......one musn't reveal the mysteries of Jesus.....then there'd be no mystery.”

“i'm too goo for the pathman.

yuck!

i'm now the prez o' da pimps union, but there's always time for my bahama mama muse.”

“hey mel - are you willing to post your TT Purity score? See link: Trail Talk Purity Test ”

“LOL,.. Mel sweetie,.. I`ll write you sappy poetry anytime you want it sweet one!

Tell me when and where!”

“Hi Mel Darling! SO you have been MIA too?!? Well, Welcome back.... TT wouldn't be right without you! Aren't you a charter member so something like that? ”

“I'm back too Mel. I moved, so it took me months to get hooked up again, long boring story.

I'm glad to see you are busy if that's good for you. Have fun and check in often.”

“Oh, now that was a fun quiz.
How do you show people how weird your answers were?

Snakeboy-CF....

MARRIED?!
Who's walking you down the isle?
Surely, not Bilbo?
Well congrats Dear One.
Your e-s to me bounced back? Strange. Try again.
I've never had that happen before.
I definitely think we should get together this spring.
Did you get my e-mail reply to that effect?

Obi My Sweet - that was an unintentional oversight.
You KNOW I would never leave you out of anything.
The Spring Death Valley trip is still on.
But I went nuts a couple of weeks ago and demanded John take me out there early, IMMEDIATELY, or I would burn down the house.
So to keep household harmony, we went.
It was a GOOD idea.
So, we are going back again next month - March 14 to 22.
You are invited if you don't end up in Hawaii with a bunch of drunk guys.
Tell you what....
Why'nt we trade places?
You can go out to the desert with John, and I'LL go to Hawaii with the bunch of drunk guys.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm?

Tom My WonderMoon..

How in the hell could I give all those pink birds names?
They all look the same to me.
Except the oldest one, with a stick up his butt instead of the wire legs.
He has bird s#!t on him.
Naw - I didn't get out to the Elvis shrine.
It was too damned hot to get me out to hike across those rocky desert washes.
John went out though -
He said all the work we did last year rebuilding the site, and all the new Elvis posters were gone.
Looks like when we go out again next month, I'll have to order up a bunch of new stuff, and reconstruct the rock-hole again.
Poor Elvis.
He can't get no respect!
Jesus Shaves.

Duna....
Why in the world is your wife sleeping with all her clothes on?
What did you do to make her start doing that?

And what's Kleety been doing to get himself ostrasized?
His maps getting too big?

Kleetyface? Care to comment?

Raddy You Darling God-Like Person..

I was worried there for a minute.
So what's this about you getting promoted and being to BIG for your britches?
You been subscribing to those on-line ads for Viagra again?
I blow you a KISS!

Hi, Freedom....

Yes, I have been off-radar for awhile.

It takes too long for me to download this whole page of diddy-wop-doo-dah-icon-threadbabble.

If I want to visit anymore, I've had to resort to posting my own gossip thread just to be able to talk to people.

Well, I guess that just sorts the wheat from the chaff.
Makes better grits, that way.

Oops....

Grits am corn.

Looks like I'll drop in tomorrow to catch up on the latest.
This is the best thing I've had happen to me all week (except for the naked softball game - no, I didn't participate - I get sand in my shlitz).

Kissy Poo....

Auntie M”

“Wimmenz is definately welcome to the antler dance. I was just unlucky enough to witness it first time around by (drunken)men and much like Mark Twain there's something to write home about there.Is it Huck Finn that falls in with a troop of scallawag thespians that collect everyones money,streaks the stage, and exits stage left and calls that a show? Anyway all it takes is a bon fire and Tevas.(Tevas optional).Beer,Everclear and whatever yur smokin. Hey I'm 51 I'm sure nobody needs to see me in an antler dance. I'll bring the dutch oven though.”

“So the Antler Dance is done BUCK naked?

Sand in your Schlitz???

How's about your Blatz?

I guess everybody Piels for the softball game.

Do you Schaeffer, or just let the Busch grow?”

“Wow Mel....good to see you resurface! I have the same predicament as you...my computer is really slow, and so am I (this is news? :)...) I can only read a couple of threads per hour...heh..
what a great idea to have a Mel thread.....been missing posts from a fellow B-52....(but that will be over in a few months )............now i can zone in on keeping up with the westerners ....”

“B-52?”

“I sent 3 emails over the period of a week and they all bounced back... will try again, perhaps from a different account. Bilbo won't be making it to the wedding, but there will be 4 dogs attending (including Ranger who hiked the Oregon section of the PCT with me in '94), all will be complete with bow ties. Will email again this mornin!”

“I am pregnant, thanks for asking.

I want my support check NOW, dammit!”

“Bring on the Llamarama!!! And rocket fuel!! And Larry and the boyz! And MORE rocket fuel! And flying high as kites, errr, I mean high flying kites! And fresh trout over the campfire! And laying around in the sun reading! And bagging a few peaks! And kicking the black bears outta camp! And breaking in the new tarp/tent! And MORE rocket fuel!

It's gonna be FUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!

How many people going on the lakes trip now, oh dear Melsy? Can we still fit in my 19" boob tube/DVD/sat dish combo with llama methane power generator and the mini-fridge that will hold exactly one case of tall boys and three NY strips? If we have to cut someone to make room, I know you'll come through for me, Melsy.”

“Back to the top with this one!”

“tom terrific.......phil and mel and i turned 52 last year...when we were in the planning of llamarama...somewhere the Be 52's came up....
WHat were U thinkin!!? heh”

“52?
You all are a bunch of kids!
Kids I tell ya!
And slackers to boot!
When I was your age I was 54 already!”

“Hell Nav ya make me feel like a kid again..Dropping the diaper and my wife (er I mean my mom)chasing me out into the street.”

“Naviguesser!!!

JVZ!!!

Hey, guys! Nice to see you chime in here on mel's persoanl "eventually-get-around-to-everybody" thread... We just never had enough time at last year's llama-rama, now, did we?

Glad I had the chance to say hello!”

“JVZ, you must have a very interesting relationship with your wife. No, I don't want to know more. When is the snow going to melt so we can meet up at Dinkey Creek?
Obi, I'm saying "Hello" now. I guess that's just going to have to do. 8^)”

“Another B-52 here!

Mel, did you get the email I sent a day or two ago? I didn't get a reply.

Lots of LlamaRama2001 posters here! Great fun!! I look at our photo albums on line quite regularly. I haven't seen Mozark post lately, have you?

I have to figure out which trips to go on. I am pretty sure I will make it to the car camping trip because I can bring my daughter. DUTCH OVEN TIME for sure.

Roseymonster - Is there room for a Dutch oven with your stuff? LOL

I miss your posts, Mel.”

“Now, this is more like ole times!

Om....

I waz just thinking about you today and wondering what knot hole you had fallen in.
Now I find it's the same one sucked in me!
I've been missing the hell out of you.
Have you been getting my llama rama trip updates?
Do you think you might make it out here for one of the excursions?
There are several, and we now have updated shuttle services (as opposed to Greyhound) from the trailheads, etc.

This is old home week.

JVZ - You am the fittest damned 51 year-old naked antler dancer I know.
You can dance on MY stage, anytime!

You, too Navi-My Morsel.
When we going to do that four day early season trip this spring?
I forgot to get back to you with the Saline Valley trip, and all.
I would still like to try to find SOMEWHERE we could take out The Boyz prior to late June.
Put on your Thinking Cap.
Surely there MUST be a place nearby.

Camel, My Fluffer....

Dogs? Which one is the Ring Bearer?
Bare Ringer? Bear Ringer?
I got your latest.
Guess the last server did the trick. We can pass notes in class.
Keep me up-to-date with your spring plans and being up in this neighborhood.
I absolutely will NOT miss a chance to meet up with MY Snakeboy!

Now, Tom...

My Man in the Moon.
Or is that My Man of the Moon?
Schlitz, Blatz...
A rose by any other name..
is still a schlitz.

KLEETY!
I told you I was wearing protection.
Since when doesn't a face mask do the job?
Did the squirrel chew holes in it again?

Rosey....
We are gonna' have some fun on this trip.
We have 5 paid trippers, and then there's Oldtimer and Turk.
I'm keeping them on the list until the last minute so we can see how well OT's knee heals up from his surgery.
We will probably have more than enough bears to carry the tube - if we run out of llamas.
Problem is, I wouldn't trust bears with the liquor or chocolate.
Such pigs they are.
And don't offer to share your fish.
Let 'em catch their own.
Fook 'em.

So Obi....

You going to tease us, or are you going to jine up in any of the festivities.
I miss people who have a neck smells as good as yours.
Or, what that your Dad's neck?

Lost Tonto”

“Good God Mel been a lawng time it seems!! Pathman got it right, twas me hangin ten in Oahu for 2 weeks recently, and we found out shortly ago that our next offspring is a BOY!!! Due first of July. I owe it all to you Melsie .... did the Tango in some lime green jello .......

Keep me in the know. Between daiper changes, I'll catch up with ya sometime this summer. Til then John and Larry better be treatin' ya nicelike! Did somebody say grits!!

Smoochie Poo”

“mel, could you post a short list of llamarama dates?.. all emails and such have moved out on their own with my sons computer. I am going to montanapalooza in july...wasnt there a fall sept. trip to some hot springs you mentioned..? might could scoot way out there for that one.........
i still groove on the awesome time in the sierras going over whitney on llamarama2001..wish could have spent more camp time with you and the"10 dayers".....(phil, i look at those pics a lot too, and will try to reupload my trip pics..they were corrupted a while back...so that the link works on your photopage) Got that cowboy as my desktop at work. :)
good thread here!! good to reconnect.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~”

“And here I thought that B-52 was somebody's BRA SIZE!

I'm still 40-something.......”

“Working out of the Cuervo haze I do seem to remember you mentioning Dinky Creek. Is this something you're going to put together? I can't make Obi's JMT trip but I'm up for shorter duration hikes. So's Kent but he doesn't post here he just lets me talk over the fence about what ya'all are up to. I'm open for suggestions. Great thread Melsie Tonto Goldstein. Hi OM. Ya going to come out in Sept and jump in the hot water? I can't commit to anything right now but I'm hoping to do that one. I'll just come in late Mel so don't take this as a serious "in" just hopeful thinking. Keeping it alive!!”

“I just thought Dinkey Creek would be a good trip half way between us. Maybe we could get Pepperdog to join us. Maybe Obi?
I know the snow melts late there, so late July?”

“Sure thing Phil. Toss it in. Just make sure you SHARE!

Yup Mel, it's gonna be a gooooooooooooood time.


Ya hear that everyone? Gooooooood times!!!”

“ok Nav as time gets closer we can throw it out. Maybe mid Aug. or something so Obi and JMT crew can pipe in. Maybe give them a couple of weeks rest but not enough to tighten up again.”

“jvz .....you KNOW i can't pass up a swimming hole without taking a plunge......regardless of altitude or temperature!
however, that dinkey creek you and Nav are talking about...not sure i would dive into a dinkey creek at all...

Mel...the sept./hot springs trip is one I would like to do...but I have to see how my funds look closer to the time..i will try to stash some extra wandering money if i can.
hiya pepperdog and obi!
you californians are wild....”

“om, the creek is not so dinkey, and the lakes are great.
You'd be more than welcome to join us for a swim.”

“Let me know your latest E-addy and I'll forward all the latest to you.

Summer trips look like this:

6-21: TT arrives here at the house

6-22 to 7-2 we hike from Duck Lake to Virginia Lake.
Fine mountain scenery and next to no people but us.
Phil may come in for a short part of that trip.

7-15: TT arrives here at the house.

7-16 to 7-18: We do the car camp trip through the Long Valley Caldera (the big valley out in front of my house, and what my house sits at the edge of).

7-19: TT arrives and some leave.

7-20: The rest of the TT group arrives here at the house.

7-21: We drive down to the trailhead to Cottonwood Lakes and spend the night.

7-22 to 7-27: We hike up to Cottonwood Lakes, set up a base camp and stay there.
Then, we dayhike anywhere we want to go up there, and hang out at night around the campfire and BS and eat.

September is the "Goodbye Summer Hot Springs Trip".

9-16:TT people arrive at the house.
Camp out in the yard (remember that?!), eat, drink and pack for the trip.

9-17: We hike out of Reds Meadow and 1/2 way to the hot springs (about six miles).

9-18: We hike the rest of the way to the springs (about 7 miles).

9-19 to 9-21/22: We base camp at the hot springs, linger and dayhike the area.

9-21 or 9-22: We hike 1/2 way out.

9-22 or 9-23: We exit at Reds Meadow.

Nekid...
When are you going to stop having kids long enough to go on a hike with us?
You're going to have to start keeping that thing in your pocket!
Have YOU been getting my e-mail trip updates?

Tommy My Moon Pie..

I didn't know you were a breast man.
I thought you prefered drumsticks.
Well, we may not be-52's, but I'm sure we can rustle up some 36 C's.”

“LOL Mel...
lets go with the more stable e-addy:
mcintosha@mail.vetmed.ufl.edu
thanks for the run down...”

“Wow Mel... its a good thing you aren't reading what these good people are saying about you on the other threads.”

“That's the truth, and I'm sticking to it.”

“Would you be a sweetie... check my JMT thread, go to the last page, and might you could offer some perspective?

Feel free to E if you wish to leave no footprints...

Thanks!

OWC (Lost Puppy)”

“Actually mel, I'm more of a "pie man"!

Moon Pie?!?!?!?


Ooooooo, California!”