Big Brown Truck

“My package was scanned out for delivery at 6 am, it's almost 6:30 pm. Where is the Big Brown Truck?”

“Big Brown Bull#&%!$ - They say my package was delivered at 6:01 PM, Well I'm here and my package isn't.”

“The truck was just here. Brought me 3-bottles of 120-Endurolytes Capsules. Looking forward to some cramp-free backpacking.”

“Hey, he stopped at my house yesterday and dropped off my new Gregory G pack.

I expect another visit next week when he will drop off Big Agnes. I can't wait to sleep with her.”

“I thought u had to go to a street conrner to find one of them ;)”

“Nope, not if you have one shipped from Russia.”

“someone needs to market a large inflatable bovine, color black, that the customer can refer to as Big Angus”

“Oooooh where IS t hat big brown truck. I'm waiting for the new wine rack (made of antlers) I picked up out west. If it doesn't hurry, I may have to drink some of the wine? :-(”

“Just ordered a crapload of Enertia food! They are only 20 minutes away so it'll be here tomorrow.”

“dhutch1, sorry, but it was just too nice to deliver. I'm keeping it.

Nigal: Ha!”

“Can you actually go to their location and shop?? Man, can I come visit?

BTW anything new on the menu”

“D@mn you, BBT!”

“"Nigal: Ha!"

Ha! yourself BBT cause you'll be bringing me my food for free! You are my bltch!”

“"Can you actually go to their location and shop?? Man, can I come visit?

BTW anything new on the menu"

No, they only do mailorder due to that’s how they track sales. Believe me, I’ve tried! They have this new beans, ham and scallions thing but birch told me it was just ok and the tvp ham is so pink it’s a bit unnatural. I’m still stuck on the same things I’ve loved from the beginning.

Best Breakfast: Blue Mountain Bear Mush
Best Lunch/Dinner: Switchback Spaghetti
Best Overall: Grand Canyon Cheesecake”

“Oh, I didn't like the spaghetti but I may have been impatient and eaten it too soon.

I like the Alfredo (added foil packed clams) and the Parker Pass Pintos (i think)

ditto on the Blue Mountain Bear Mush and the Cheesecakes!”

“"Oh, I didn't like the spaghetti but I may have been impatient and eaten it too soon."

Yeah, this is one of the few meals ya have to get it just right or it's not done enough or it turns to mush. I find the pot directions work best.”

“I had two packages coming today. FedEx left the package they were to deliver, but the U Pickitupyourself Sucker Brown Truck left a note that I have to sign for the one they were to deliver. One day they leave a package; the next day they don't. I will elect FedEx or Priority Mail every chance I get. I hate UPS!

So I have to wait until I can get to the pickup point on Tuesday because some arsehole in a brown suit can't get it through his thick dumbass head that I work for a living, SO I'M NOT HOME TO SIGN FOR PACKAGES WHEN HE COMES HERE!

UPS -- U Pickitupyourself Sucker!”

“The nerve!”

“Did you tip the driver during the holidays?”

“Up here the local UPS guy always leaves packages at my door if I'm not home. Last week I was having breakfast in the next town over and spotted the UPS driver having his as well. He hollered over that he had a package for me and could he just throw it in my truck? It's a rural thing.”

“Geobeet
“Did you tip the driver during the holidays?”
ChicagoMark

How can I tip them? I never see the SOBs. I just get their little yellow and brown Post-It notes on the door.”

“I love UPS. They always leave my packages. When I wasn't on the road & worked for the feebies, they dropped them off at my job.

UPS used to just put the pkgs inside my jeep so they wouldn't get wet or inside my porch door when I'm home. I lock my porch door (don't know why, nobody else does) when I'm out or sleeping.

Finally I built a metal roof over my 4’x10' front steps landing. Left the latticework open on the bottom, because I love the sound of rain on a metal roof. My wife forbid me building this roof, but I did it when she was visiting her sister in Hawaii. She likes it now after she said bad things to me on the phone after being forewarned. I’m gonna build another one over her 14’x24’ patio in back. I’ll prob end up extending the patio a little bit after the sparks settle.

Now UPS just leaves them under this roof. I do have problems with DHL & Airborne Express. Airborne express had the nerve to tell me to drive an hour & a half away to pick up my computer if I wanted it that week! After paying $65 for rapid delivery. I was FURIOUS. The company did end up refunding my dough. Airborne Express didn’t leave my wife’s camera yesterday, so now I have to hang around Monday all day to sign for it. That was express delivery too. How much you want to bet they don’t show?”

“In my area, UPS leaves, FedEx is a pain in the ass.”

“I got a sticky note on the door twice from UPS. On the day they would make their final attempt I knew I wouldn't be home, so i left a letter taped to the door along with their notice. In the letter I authorized them to leave the package without my signature and signed the letter. It worked, and the guy left the package.”

“When I lived in LA (lower Alabama) the UPS driver had a package for me at work. When he gave it to me he said he also had a package for my wife. Did I want to take it or should he drop it off at the house? That's service, it's also about as rural as you can get, where everybody knows everybody else. It has it's pluses.”

“what can brown do for you?”

“I have had only one problem with UPS. They left me a package in my driveway behind my VW camper and didnt leave me a note. I found it 3 days later after a nice rain had soaked it through. Thanksfully it wasnt damaged,.”

“I've talked to the local manager on the phone and literally begged him to authorize the drivers to leave packages. He keeps repeating his mantra: regulations. I expect he craps when UPS tells him he can.”

“The U-Pickitupyourself-Sucker driver did it to me again. I decided to have them reload it on a different truck and deliver it to my workplace tomorrow. Dumbasses! Now it will cost them more to deliver it.”

“has arrived, Now to break it in and make it me.”

“Where is that dang truck?”

“It was here.”

“Were my guide books and bear canister in it?”

“UPS are bastards. I'm sure they deliberately slow thir standard delivery down so you pay for speedier arrival. I've had stuff arrive in the depot near me and sit there for three days until the official delivery date.”

“I don't think so Zac. The dude was wearing a buff pair of sunglasses though. Did you order those?”

“Nope not mine”

“Here I am! Yes, I do suck! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!”

“Got the guide books, but no canister yet.”

“Time to head home and see if he brought me anything today.”

“A turd”

“No, that was supposed to go to Violin's house!”

“G@$$%%#@@$!!! where's box 1 of 2?!!! I need the stupid thing!”

“Ha ha! I suck!”

“The package finally showed up, all battered. Fortunately it's not something fragile.”

“I'm looking for that big brown truck...it's supposed to be here tomorrow! Hopefully my package isn't all battered.....because my new camera will be in the box.”

“Nope, don't want that battered! This was 120 lbs. of rubber pond liner.”

“Hey Tree...just filled in my Koi pond last spring... got tired of the maintenance. They are very beautiful but require quite a bit of time to maintain. Have fun it's a great hobby too.”

“"Ha ha! I suck!"
-Big Brown Truck

Ha ha! That was awesome...”

“I know about the time and maintenance aspect. I'm already in the NFKC, and I've seen just how much work they can be. I've also seen how obsessed the owners can be. :)”