Go to hell

“HARARE, Zimbabwe -- Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe has told UK Prime Minister Tony Blair to "go to hell" after Britain endorsed his election rival Morgan Tsvangirai in next week's election.

Mugabe's outburst came on the eve of a Commonwealth summit in Australia where Blair is expected to call for immediate sanctions against Zimbabwe as punishment for its conduct towards European Union poll observers and journalists.

"But of course we say: 'Go to hell.' Go to hell, our people have decided and that is what matters to us.

"It's not the right or responsibility of the British to decide on our elections. We don't decide on their own and why should they poke their pink noses in our business?"

The United States on Thursday blasted what it called a "campaign of repression orchestrated by the government of Zimbabwe" and warned Mugabe that he faced financial sanctions if he failed to respect the will of his people in the elections.

Hey Dubya! What's this BS about failing to respect the will of the people when it comes to elections? HYPOCRITE as usual!

LMAO.”

“"I respectfully decline to accept the office of president of the United States because the majority of the people voted for my opponent."”

“And I thought the Russians were sore losers..”

“It appears more that the Bush family are the sore losers in the war with Saddam. Still trying to bring him down. It's truly hysterical that Saddam will out live both of these two Bush presidents who are so adamant about bringing him down. LOSERS.”

“Thats nice.

8|”

“Wonder Boy? LOL, brings back the old memories of the order "I'll have a wonder girl with nothing on"..................”

“HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT




The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"”

“Ah Yes... the classic endothermic/exothermic routine -- I think the ending has been modified since I saw it last.”

“The thread title reminds me of something else I've heard....

Go to Hell
Go Directly to Hell
Do not pass 'GO'; do not collect 200 dollars --- LOL”

“No matter the author, as long as humanity can create things such as thus, there is hope.”

“U Dub. Figures.”

“I've hung out with chemists. I would postulate that hell has not frozen over...”

“Hell, I am not a chemist, but I would say it hasn't even cooled off.”

“tooo funny!”

“Hanging with a chemist would suggest there is no such place.”