OnThisDayIn1937

“On this day back in 1937.. the Hormel company figured out that if they take some miscellaneous parts of a PIG, and add some spices.. that the resulting 'spiced ham' would have a shelf life of seven years.. and thus.. SPAM was born..”

“What a beautiful thing.”

“And we have to work today? What a gyp!”

“Ummmmmmmmm.......8)”

“hehe.. oh yeah.. that's what I WANT for christmas mommy.. a SPAM toy!

”

“You've probably seen, heard or even used the term "spamming" to refer to the act of sending unsolicited commercial email (UCE), or "SPAM" to refer to the UCE itself. Following is our position on the relationship between UCE and our trademark SPAM.

Use of the term "SPAM" was adopted as a result of the Monty Python skit in which a group of Vikings sang a chorus of "SPAM, SPAM, SPAM . . . " in an increasing crescendo, drowning out other conversation. Hence, the analogy applied because UCE was drowning out normal discourse on the Internet.

We do not object to use of this slang term to describe UCE, although we do object to the use of our product image in association with that term. Also, if the term is to be used, it should be used in all lower-case letters to distinguish it from our trademark SPAM, which should be used with all uppercase letters.

This slang term does not affect the strength of our trademark SPAM. In a Federal District Court case involving the famous trademark STAR WARS owned by LucasFilms, the Court ruled that the slang term used to refer to the Strategic Defense Initiative did not weaken the trademark and the Court refused to stop its use as a slang term. Other examples of famous trademarks having a different slang meaning include MICKEY MOUSE, to describe something as unsophisticated; TEFLON, used to describe President Reagan; and CADILLAC, used to denote something as being high quality.”

“SPAM spelled backwards is MAPS.

Obviously a secret sublimimal plot directed against backpackers.

Where's Marvin? We need a further explanation on the global reach of this conspiracy.”

“Monty Python's Spam Song.”

“When ALLIED FORCES INVADED the secret underground bunkers of Nazi Germany at the end of WWII, they were somewhat befuddled to find special top secret factories geared up for the mass production of some heretofore UNKNOWN QUASI-MEAT SUBSTANCE. The German blueprints made cryptic references to an undisclosed "Uber-Meat" which was refereed to as "Schpammme". Orders were subsequently issued to TERMINATE THESE FACTORIES with "extreme prejudice". All production of the anomalous substance was halted, all records destroyed, and the factories bombed into oblivion.

However, prior to this mass destruction (and unbeknownst to the bulk of the intelligence community), the German "Schpamme-Kopfs" (or "Spam-Heads" as they were subsequently labeled) WERE WHISKED AWAY from these plants via top-secret "mystery choppers" by the trans-galactic "SPAM CONSORTIUM". This secret culinary society in turn spawned the now all-too-powerful NSA (National Spam Activists) who now covertly run this country and, indeed, THE BULK OF INTERNATIONAL RELIGIO-POLITICAL AFFAIRS.

But these covert elements of the U.S. government are not entirely to blame. In fact, they are LITTLE MORE THAN PAWNS for the International Spam Consortium under the direction of the Orion Greys and Orion Nordics.

Why has our government kept the HORRIBLE TRUTH regarding Spam hidden from us all of these years? Because they have SOLD US OUT to the aliens in trade for some paltry beam weaponry and mind-control technology. The agreement stated that if we would ignore the cattle mutilations and "look the other way" when they ABDUCTED OUR CITIZENS, they would provide us with the bargained-for technology.

In reality, it wasn't such a bad deal. We would come off looking to the entire world as though we had EXTREMELY LARGE #&%!$ES and all we had to do was let them kidnap, "rape", and implant mind-control devices into approximately 1 in 40 of our BLISSFULLY UNAWARE CITIZENS. All abductees would be returned to their point of origin and have no conscious memory of the traumatic ordeal. Unless they went to a shrink and engaged in hypnotic regression, they'd never even know what hit 'em. Such a deal, eh?

But WHY THE CATTLE MUTILATIONS you ask? Simple, this was a distraction to draw our attention away from their secondary goal: to secure pigs for the production of YET MORE SPAM so that they could, in turn, accomplish their primary goal: to secure "properly seasoned" human glandular extracts, their "food of choice".

Because of an ATROPHIED DIGESTIVE SYSTEM, the aliens cannot eat food in the same manner which we do. They secure glandular and hormonal extracts from us then dip their body parts in the "broth" and absorb what they require via osmosis. But here's the catch: humans which have not been subjected to metered doses of Spam, JUST DON'T TASTE THAT GOOD to them. It is a simple equation, actually- No Spam, no abduction.

This is, in fact, the purpose of the alien's "anal-probe". This device is used to extract fecal matter from the lower intestine to see if the human "meal" has been properly "seasoned" with enough Spam. If there is enough residual "seasoning" [Spam], THE HUMAN IS CUT UP and placed into one of their feeding vats. If not, he or she is implanted with a bio-electronic device which causes the implantee to CRAVE MORE SPAM. It is a simple matter of culinary economics. As the aphid is to the ant, so are we to them. As we treat cows, SO THEY TREAT US.

You can begin to see at this point why the government has gone to such great lengths to keep the "horrible truth" hidden from us and why there is such a STRONG INTER-GALACTIC DRIVE to cause us to ingest more Spam. The Orion Nordics are using subliminal programming via the mindless chanting of cryptic mantras alluding to the "wonderful" nature of that most hideous pink slop employing orgasatic subliminal CIA/Alien mind-control technology. It is important to note that at least in planetary terms, the SPAM CONSORTIUM are the ones who wield the true power.”