golf chuckle

“Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his
ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow
buttercups.
Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about
every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden . . . POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little
old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to
make those buttercups?
Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the
rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your
toast for the rest of your life ... as a matter of fact, you won't
have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
THEN POOF! ... she was gone.
After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend Fred.
"Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the #&%!$willows."
Dave yells back...... "DON'T SWING FRED!!! For God's sake,
DON'T SWING!!"”

“Speaking of golf, I wouldn't mind starting to play again. However, it's the one sport I've played I got worse at the more I played. Still fun though.”

“Artex, how much have you played? What would you score on a good day?”

“This guy goes golfing every Saturday morning at 5:30 am, rain or shine, as he's done for the past 20 years. Saturday comes and he slips out of bed, careful not to wake his wife, and gets ready to head to the links. He gets halfway to the course and it's pouring rain and decides that this one time he's not going to play. So, he heads home and slips back into bed, whispering to his wife, "Man, that weather is brutal today!"
His wife replies "Yeah, can you believe my idiot husband is out golfing in that stuff?"”

“Fritz - I think one time I got a 114 on a par 72 course. Pretty sad, huh?”

“I love playing disc golf.I have been playing disc golf from 1990 untill now and I have got pretty good at it.

Anyone out there play disc golf for money.

Come up to my part of the US and we can play a skins game $1 a hole or something.

8)”

“I don't play anything for money. I don't bet at all either.
I do like to play frisbee golf though. I'm too cheap to buy a bag of them discs so I just add one to the par and tee off with the frisbee.”

“I play in the Adv or open Divisons!

8)”

“I've never played frisbee golf but have always wanted to. Started frisbee in about '65 or so. Hate golf. Used to play a lot, tried to pick it up again, but really don't like it.”

“It's fun it's in may class with backpacking in what I like to do in life.


8)”

“A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me!", she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away an laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?"

To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell.”

“LOL,..good one SN!”

“LOL..... I like that one”