Stupid Criminal Tricks

“Hey Draculyra! Are you handing out brownies again this year for Halloween?”

“yes, but thanks to this, i won't be making them at 7-11, like i was planning...”

“Wake and bake. For mister King”

“I can't credit this, but...
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up"”

“He has redefined term 'dumb Bell'
By THERESA CONROY
phillynews.com

We've seen a lot of stupid criminals in our day, but Aaron Bell deserves special recognition.

When this 19-year-old West Philadelphia man decided to commit armed robbery, he chose to hit the same KFC store where he was working.

He didn't wear a mask. He didn't sport a disguise. He didn't try to hide his face.

He also didn't get any money.

The safe he tried to force his boss to open was time-locked - a detail he should have known from his two years of employment as a chicken cook at the KFC at 43rd and Market streets. The safe locks down at 9 p.m. Bell and an unidentified accomplice tried to rob the store at 9:15 on Oct. 2, 2001.

The Kentucky Fried crook's stupidity apparently was boundless.

Unable to cop some easy bucks out of KFC, Bell decided to go back to getting his money the old-fashioned way: He showed up to work his next shift at the restaurant just three days after the robbery.

"He was acting like nothing had happened," said Philadelphia Assistant District Attorney M.K. Feeney, who prosecuted the case.

The cops were called to the store as Bell was in the men's room, changing into his cook's uniform, Feeney said.

A Common Pleas jury convicted Bell Tuesday of robbery and conspiracy. Four of his co-workers, including the manager, testified about what happened in the restaurant that night. They had no trouble identifying Bell.

"It's just like you basically have to ask yourself what was he thinking," said Feeney, who couldn't stop shaking her head over this one.

Sentencing is scheduled for Jan. 15 in front of Common Pleas Judge Teresa Sarmina.”

“Police charge couple with pot production

Windsor, Ont. -- A couple who reported a break-in to police yesterday morning were arrested after officers discovered a marijuana-growing operation in their basement. Police who responded to the complaint found 156 pot plants growing in the basement of the home after insisting on searching it to ensure no suspects remained hidden inside.

Eric Brundin, 44, and Carrie Brundin, 34, were charged with production of a controlled drug and possession for the purpose of trafficking.”

“sheesh, what were they smoking?”

“People who smoke pot doing stupid things? Who'd've thunk it?”

“Say officer, while you're down there, would you mind checking on my pot plants to see if they need water?”

“Actually, this guy had a better plan.”

“WTF happened to my link ???”

“You put an extra "<" in...”

“Mugging suspect's poor strategy

Police say he tried to retrieve cell phone


Wednesday, February 05, 2003


BY ALEXANDER LANE
Star-Ledger Staff

A mugger who dropped his cell phone while allegedly robbing two Rutgers University students was arrested after he tried to get it back from a police officer.

Avenel resident Justin Graci, 19, and another man approached two students at Hamilton and Union streets Saturday at 3:30 a.m. and demanded some money, police said. When the victims refused, Graci's partner punched one of them in the face, prompting him to turn over $20, Lt. Thomas Selesky said.


In the mugging, Graci dropped his cell phone and ran off.

Police officer James Bobadilla, having been called to the scene, was holding the phone a few minutes later, when it rang.

Bobadilla answered it. It was Graci.

"You have my phone," Graci said.

Bobadilla, who did not mention that he was a police officer, arranged to meet Graci in the entrance of the Howard Johnson Hotel on Route 1. A grateful Graci promised to give him $10 for his trouble.

A few minutes later, Graci called again. Instead of the $10, he wondered, would Bobadilla accept a bag of marijuana? Bobadilla, again failing to mention that he was a police officer, agreed.

Bobadilla, his partner and the two victims -- Nathan Birmingham, 18, and Aaron Shapiro, 19 -- pulled up to the hotel in a patrol car. The students confirmed the man in the lobby was their attacker, but Graci made a run for it, police said.

The officers caught him on Tunison Road, kept the cell phone, took the marijuana and charged him with robbery, possession of marijuana and resisting arrest, Selesky said.”

“Great one, V. Stupidity has no bounds sometimes...”

“That one is a classic.”

“wow...that's about all i can say...
he should smoke more...”

“Ok here's true story about a guy I used to know in college.

I was recently talking to another old friend that told me the story.

The start off with, the block-head has gotten himself addicted to crack. Turns out he leaves the house one night to pick up some pizzas and never comes back . His girlfriends goes looking for him and finds him in jail.

While getting the pizzas, he decided he needed some crack. He bought the crack, but had nowhere to smoke it, so he stepped into the restroom of the Hacienda Mexican restaurant on the eastside of Evansville.

While he was smoking his crack in the stall of the restroom, someone came in and commented about the smell.

Paranoid and cracked-out, he apparently freaks out and climbs up into the ceiling, where he tries to crawl across the restuarant to get out. Over the bar area, his legs fall through the ceiling. He then pulls himself back up and continues. Finally, he falls through the ceiling and lands in the dining room, where employees tackle him as he makes a break for the door.

The cops are called and goes up. This little escapade was apparently covered by the local newspaper and he's now the laughing stock of everyone.”

“Add this guy to the list...

BumblinBonehead”

“This happened in a town near here, Decatur, AL to be exact.

Inmate charged with making bomb threat to judge

A 19-year-old inmate at the Morgan County jail was charged Monday with telephoning a bomb threat to the Decatur home of a circuit judge.

Curtis Ray Smith of 60 Bernice Drive, Danville, allegedly made the phone call last Saturday to the residence of Judge Steven Haddock, the presiding circuit judge for the county.

Decatur Police Sgt. Jackie Sherrill said the call was traced to the county jail.

Smith was convicted of third-degree robbery in the holdup of a man in a Hartselle shopping center and was sentenced on Jan. 14 by Haddock to 10 years.

Police searched the house and the judge's office and no bomb was located.

Detective Herb Lundy said bond was set at $750 and Smith remains in jail on the robbery conviction.”

“Why would a bond amount be set for a guy already in the big-house?”

“We firmly believe in "piling on" in the South.”

“<fix font>”

“that's a good one! she prolly deserved to have them stolen, though, for having a Looney Tunes background.”

“LMAO@lyra!”

“what, it's true. ;-D”

“lyra the checkbook snob! ;)”

“Nothing cutsie for Lyra then?”

“Her checks prolly have monkeys prancing on them”

“Lyra has poop hurlin' monkeys in the background of her checkbook...”

“I bet lyra has Monkeys on hers.”

“Her first thought was probably, "Hey that chick looks kind of like me! What are the odds?"”

“Damn this! Am I that slow today or are you people using mind control to steal my ideas?”

“Great minds think alike. ;)”

“I'll go with that.”

“LMAO!! i like treebeard's idea best. however, i never use checks, literally...everything's online, baby.”

“Happens all the time. I convicted a check forger who was identified by the teller since the victim was in the bank complaining about the forgeries on his stolen checks. The victim had not left the bank when the criminal tried it there.

Had a armed robber with a perfect replica gun try to stick up an old man in an alley on the south side of Chicago. The old man was an about to retire Chicago Police Detective who agreed to turn over his wallet but instead pulled out his real gun and put several holes in the bad guy who could not return fire with his replica gun.

Last year, had a robber who tried to stick up a crowded donunt shop. The customer in line behind him was a plain clothes Chicago Police Officer who grabbed the robber. Unknown to the officer, the robbers accomplice was behind the plain clothes police officer and he hit the cop over the head with his gun. Unknown to these persons, the fourth person in line was another police officer who came to the aid of the other officer. Final result, two arrested and convicted for a string of armed robberies.

My all time favorite: Two robbers announced a stick up in a bar. Unknown to the robbers, this bar was a cop hang out and almost a dozen of the patrons were off duty cops. One robber stood guard by the door and the other robber went to the far end of the bar and started frisking the patrons for wallets. Surrepticiously, the off duty police officers started clicking their safeties off. The robber who was frisking the first patron found his police star and shouted that he was a cop, and asked what to do. The robber who was standing guard shouted back, "kill him". Immediately all officers discharged their guns into both criminals who were so taken by suprise they did not get off a shot. Surprisingly, the robber who had found the police star lived!”

“I reported on a case where an off-duty cop was using the MAC machine at a bank and saw two guys walk in. The cop looked into the bank and saw the hold-up going down and got somebody with a cellphone to call 911. Meanwhile, the one of the bad guys jumped over the counter and began emptying drawers. When he went to jumb back over the counter, he fell and hurt his leg. The two ran out of the bank and the cop began chasing them down the street. Bills were flying all over the place. The two bad guys jumped into a car driven by a woman and took off. The cop commandeered a car from a citizen, later changing into a patrol cruiser he came upon. The bad guys were flying down side streets, cops on their heels, when the bad guy with the hurt leg tried to change places with the woman. In the process of doing that, the gun went off and he got hit in the thigh. Two other cops had moved into a blocking position at a bridge leading from the city into the county (SOP for things like this) and tried to block them. The bad guys got around them, crossed the bridge, and ran into another car at an expressway ramp.

The cops got the bad guys out of the car, but the car had caught on fire, so the cops had to get the money (evidence) out of the car before it caught fire.

When I called the FBI to get the story, the agent told me all the details and said, "It's a damn shame he didn't shoot himself just a little higher."

Then she said, "You'd better not quote me on that."”

“Intruder fatally injured during home burglary

By BILL MONTGOMERY
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution


A would-be burglar died early today after breaking into a Sandy Springs house by jumping head-first through a front window.

"This is a weird one, I must admit," said a puzzled Fulton County police major, Wenda Phifer. "Jumping through glass to get into, not out of some place...I don't know."

The mortally injured suspect attempted to struggle with officers, who dragged him out from under a bed before he collapsed from loss of blood, Phifer said. The 35-year-old man, more than 6 feet tall and 250 pounds, with brown hair and green eyes, died at Northside Hospital.

"He must have cut a main artery," said Phifer. Although the man had no identification on him, Phifer said detectives have some idea of who he may be.

<snip>”

“Blame it on Hollywood movies. Seems like everybody is thrown or jumped thru glass windows.”

“Assault suspect launches truck off Teton Pass
JACKSON, Wyo. (AP) - A man who initiated a police chase after breaking a cutting board over his ex-girlfriend's head tried to commit suicide by driving his truck off Teton Pass, officials said.

More fun in the Wild West!”

“Too bad he didn't succeed.”

“Once again, flying in the face of Darwin!”

“Maybe he thought he was Evil Kenivel.”

“He later underwent a psychological evaluation...


Ya think?”