Stupid Criminal Tricks

“Put pedophiles away for good

Here's the problem with how the courts adjudicate child molesters: While pedophiles nip children's innocence in the bud, the courts don't nip these predators in the bud.

A case in point is that of a man named Bernardo Valderrama, 42, who lives at 90-05 153rd St. in Jamaica.

Parents beware: A sexual time bomb lives behind the door there, waiting to harm your daughters.

On Saturday, July 10, at 5:30 p.m., Bernardo Valderrama was in a laundermat at 15-04 College Point Blvd. in College Point, Queens, and this monster, pretending to be a customer, admittedly put his hand up the dress of an 8-year-old girl and fondled her while she played a video game.

The child's mother was on the other side of the store doing her wash. But unbeknown to Valderrama, a surveillance camera caught him on tape with his hand up the little girl's dress. The girl screamed. Valderrama fled.

His photo appeared in the media, and outraged citizens identified him.

On July 13, police arrested Valderrama, charging him with two counts of sexual abuse in the first degree and endangering the welfare of a child. Valderrama even admitted the attack to police.

Up to that point, everyone lawfully involved in this incident did the right thing: the child screamed, scaring off her attacker. The laundromat protected the public with a surveillance camera. The police released a photograph. The media gave it play. The public identified him. Valderrama was busted by Detective Tammie Ordonez of the Queens Special Victims Unit. The cops got a confession. The Queens district attorney office leveled the top charges.

Then Valderrama was brought into Queens Criminal Court for arraignment, where a court-appointed lawyer argued that his client had never been charged with sexual molestation before and bemoaned a sickly mother at home recovering from a stroke.

Then the system failed.

For although Valderrama had previous drug busts, and the Queens Assistant District Attorney Erica Rosengarten asked for $150,000 bail, Judge Joseph Zayas imposed an obscene $15,000 bail. Which is, by the way, the same exact dollar amount imposed by a different judge in Minnesota on Joseph Duncan on a previous rap before that monster allegedly went free and kidnapped and molested Shasta Groene, 9, after killing her mother, stepfather and one sibling.

While Valderrama remains in Rikers Island, he can be sprung anytime on that $15,000 bail and be allowed back into the community where people like him always act again upon the dark urgings of their sexually deviant brains.

Even in the wake of the nationally scrutinized murder of Jessica Lunsford in Florida, allegedly at the hands of a sicko named John Couey, and countless other brutalities and murders committed against children across the country, a judge in Queens can sleep at night after imposing a $15,000 bail on a child molester caught on tape?

When I called Judge Zayas for a comment, I was told he was on vacation.

Nice.

This case caused a mere ripple in the press. For shame. For Bernardo Valderrama and his fellow pedophiles are all stomach-churning headlines waiting to happen. Their victims could be any of our kids. This is not a liberal vs. conservative issue; not a red state/blue state standoff. All of us should be outraged by a judge giving a $15,000 bail to a sexual predator of children.

Of late, the loudest guy calling spineless judges and timid governors on the carpet for such lax protections of our kids is Bill O'Reilly. He urges a national registry of sexual predators, 25-year mandatory sentences for first offenders and throw-away-the-key life terms on second offenses. O'Reilly has been fierce, tenacious and absolutely right on the money. Any of my liberal friends who ask for less should be ashamed of themselves for failing to protect the children, the least empowered citizens in society.

Listen: these ghouls are everywhere. My kids' pediatrician, a Dr. Jeffrey Marks, was busted for pedophilia. A former Brooklyn District Attorney, Eugene Gold, pleaded guilty to molesting the 9-year-old daughter of a fellow prosecutor. A teacher in my kid's school was recently busted in an online pedophilia sting. Another teacher in my nephew's Queens high school was busted in a similar sting. Both teachers got off with six months in the clink and probation.

They'll be back.

Pedophilia is never an aberration. Permanent quarantine from society is the only answer.

But here in Queens, Judge Joseph Zayas, a former Legal Aid lawyer, imposes $15,000 bail on Bernardo Valderrama, who is caught on tape with his hand up an 8-year-old's dress.

Hope he's enjoying his vacation.”

“It began with a volley of beer bottles hurled from a 21st-floor balcony and ended inside the apartment with police making the surprise discovery of a cache of drugs, cash and weapons, including a submachine gun.

"These guys do stupid things," Det. Don Di Passa of 31 Division said yesterday. "They probably never thought we'd track it (the beer bottle) down to that place."

Police wouldn't speculate on why the occupants would risk discovery by using police as target practice but noted it is not a rare occurrence for officers to have projectiles lobbed at them from apartment buildings in some areas of the city's northwest end.
[...]
After the officer was struck, other officers scrambled to find the culprit and through "diligent work" — police wouldn't say how — they traced the trajectory of the thrown bottles back to the apartment balcony on the 21st floor.

When they went to arrest the occupants, officers noticed a shotgun and ammunition on the floor, so they left to get a search warrant.

On Monday afternoon, officers executed the warrant and stumbled upon a collection of weapons, including a Cobra Mac-10 automatic submachine gun and a double-barrelled shotgun, body armour, ammunition, more than 100 grams of cocaine and about $6,000 in Canadian and American cash.

They also found other "tools of the trade," including empty vials, digital scales coated with white powder, a large plastic green waterpipe, pagers, cellphones, knives — and a library book entitled Cocaine and Crack.
[...]

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_PrintFriendly&c=Article&cid=1122501011408&call_pageid=968332188492”

“haha, tools of the trade, cellphone! if it's like 1993 maybe. now the library book, i can see.
;-)

dude wanted to get caught!”

“he's gotta have ocd or a very low iq”

“An IQ of 33?”

“He couldn't fake being a Dr. J fan just for his sentencing?”

“BENSALEM, Pa. -- A note handed to a bank teller demanding $20, $50 and $100 bills "the quicker the better" was written on a pay stub that led police to a robbery suspect even though the name and address were crossed out with a marker.

"It wasn't a huge forensic undertaking," Steven Moran, Bensalem director of public safety, said Wednesday. "We just put it under a light."

The FBI charged Michael Drennon, 26, of Philadelphia, with robbing the Wachovia Bank in Bensalem on Friday. Drennon, who had been living in a halfway house while on probation, was being held at the federal detention center in Philadelphia pending a hearing scheduled for Friday. It couldn't immediately be determined if he had an attorney.

The man who slipped the teller the note Friday left the bank with about $2,500, authorities said. Police said Drennon had about $1,800 on him when he was arrested.

Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press.”

“OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) -- A man got a prison term longer than prosecutors and defense attorneys had agreed to -- all because of Larry Bird.

The lawyers reached a plea agreement Tuesday for a 30-year term for a man accused of shooting with an intent to kill and robbery. But Eric James Torpy wanted his prison term to match Bird's jersey number 33.

"He said if he was going to go down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird's jersey," Oklahoma County District Judge Ray Elliott said Wednesday. "We accommodated his request and he was just as happy as he could be.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/basketball/nba/10/20/prison.bird.ap/index.html?cnn=yes”

“For some reason, the Billings Gazette seems to get a lot of these stories. aero?




A 23-year-old man found dead in a West End home Friday likely died of smoke inhalation after setting a pair of fires in the house to conceal a burglary, police said.

Wayland Deputee Jr., of Billings, had "distinctive coins" belonging to the homeowner in his pockets when emergency crews pulled his body from the burning house at 1732 Ave. E, according to Billings Police Detective Capt. Dave Hinkel.

Police also found two bags containing "household items" in the alley, suggesting Deputee stashed the possessions before returning to light the fires, Hinkel said.


"That's the assumption we're operating under," Hinkel said.

Police had previously indicated there were signs of forced entry at the back door.

Investigators determined that Deputee started fires in the kitchen and bedroom in an apparent effort to cover his tracks. Overwhelmed by smoke, he later collapsed in a dining room. Crew crews found him there, Hinkel said.

Fire crews responded at 12:30 a.m. Friday when a neighbor spotted the flames. After firefighters tried unsuccessfully to resuscitate Deputee, he was pronounced dead.

http://www.billingsgazette.com/index.php?id=1&display=rednews/2005/11/03/build/local/50-burglar-killed.inc”

“This hurts just thinking about it.

http://www.news4jax.com/news/5380291/detail.html”

“The thing I got out of this is that he was asking women to touch him on the genitals "inappropriately". There would have been no problem if he would have asked to be touched "appropriately".”

“The "criminal damage" must have been to his goobers.”

“Oops!

"A suspected mugger being chased by security guards met a grisly end after he fled into a zoo and climbed into the tiger enclosure...."

Whole story here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2005/12/21/international/i101955S62.DTL
last edited: 12/21/05 2:11:52 PM”

“Here's a little local example...this guy was dumb enough to break into a cops house

Off-duty trooper kills man
He was trying to kick in front door of officer's home, police say

The off-duty Indiana State Police officer who shot and killed a man he says was trying to kick in his front door Monday had been burglarized last month, investigators said.

Trooper Joel D. Wilson, 39, shot Theodore Hixenbaugh, 22, Indianapolis, through the door of Wilson's Far-Eastside home.
The shooting was reported around 11:40 a.m. in the 2100 block of Autumn Creek Drive. State Police said the incident started when someone knocked on Wilson's door.

The man at the front door stopped knocking and reportedly started to kick the door. A short time later, Wilson fired two shots from his service weapon through the door. One hit Hixenbaugh, who was pronounced dead at Wishard Memorial Hospital at 12:11 p.m. Monday.

Police records show Hixenbaugh has been arrested several times for domestic disturbances, larcenies, fraud, residential entry and criminal confinement. Records from the Indiana Department of Correction show that Hixenbaugh had served sentences for forgery and criminal confinement.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051220/NEWS01/512200445&SearchID=73230154669776”

“Think that's bad, we had two people get arrested in my area a few years back pushing a stolen car, because it ran out of gas.”

“The off duty cop should've let the burglar gain access into his house before attempting to arrest him....or shoot him if he charged....less legal trouble that way.”

“How to get arrested on a plane. Take out your lap top so the guy next to you can see it. Go to this web site and let the fun and hilarity begin.”

“It wasn't me, officer, it was the unicorn

Prosecutors claim that when 42-year-old Phillip C. Holliday Jr. was arrested after crashing his truck into a light post in Billings, Montana, he denied responsibility for the accident. They say that he told police officers at the scene that he had not been driving the truck himself – rather that a unicorn had been behind the wheel.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=41084&in_page_id=2”

“I stay in emergency services for the stories...(LOL)

The best police reports start with "After a long night of drinking...."”

“FAIRFIELD — It's a theft that just doesn't add up.
A man who tried to steal cash from a Dunkin' Donuts shop on the Post Road Monday night fled with an adding machine that he apparently mistook for a cash register.

Police said the unidentified man walked into the doughnut shop about 10:28 p.m. and handed a clerk a note stating that he had a gun and a bomb. The man's note said he would use both if he didn't get cash, police said.

The man then grabbed an adding machine, which had no cash drawers, from the counter and ran from the shop.

Surveillance video on the right: http://www.connpost.com/news/ci_7399275”

“DOH!”

“Igit!”

“Orem Man Reports Marijuana Stolen

According to police reports, 18-year-old Kory C. Tippetts returned home Monday evening to discover that someone had broken into his house. Tippetts reported that a quarter-pound of marijuana was the only thing missing.

Tippetts told police he had an idea who might have stolen it. Tippetts explained to police that he had received a call earlier that day from 23-year-old Richard W. Hight. Hight wanted to buy some marijuana, but Tippetts couldn’t meet him to make the sale.

Officers checked Hight’s house, where they recovered six ounces of marijuana and arrested him for burglary, theft, and possession of marijuana in a drug-free-zone with the intent to distribute. He was booked into the Utah County jail.

With the stolen marijuana now in hand, the officers called Tippetts to come to the police station to identify the drugs. Tippetts came to the station, identified the drugs, and was then arrested and booked on drug related charges.
last edited: 12/09/07 4:34:54 PM”

“http://www.cbs46.com/news/14994547/detail.html
Ha Ha”

“"No ma'am... we at the FBI have no sense of humor that we are aware of." MIB Agent K”

“Um I would request to see the offender to get a better idea of the "area" she wanted kissed...there are some asses I would gladly kiss.”

“A would-be burglar met his match when he tried to elude Margo Foster, a marathon runner with a black belt in karate who also knows kickboxing and kung fu, police said.

On Friday morning, the 53-year-old Lighthouse Point resident returned home from tennis practice to find an intruder rummaging through her bedroom.

Without thinking twice, she said in an interview, she bolted through the living and dining rooms and followed the startled man out to the backyard. Police said he had one of Foster's backpacks strapped on his shoulders, filled with her property. She wanted it back.

A seven-block-long chase had just begun. Lighthouse Point police corroborated Foster's version of events, and without endorsing her gutsy conduct, said she had evidently been up to the challenge.

"Luckily, it turned out OK," said police Commander Mike Oh, a spokesman for the Lighthouse Point department.

As related by Foster, the intruder began to climb the 6-foot-high wooden fence in the yard, when she "grabbed him by the neck, ripped him off the fence.. threw him to the ground, and put my knee to his chest."

The two struggled for a few minutes, Foster in her white tennis skirt, before the burglar dropped the bag and started running again.

"Go ahead and run," the former yacht detailer said she yelled. "You're not going to get away from me. I've been running for 40 years."

Police said the burglar headed north on Lighthouse Drive into the city of Deerfield Beach and then turned right on Southeast 14th Street, before he got tired and started walking. Foster followed behind and flagged down a motorist, who called police.

"I outran the kid," said Foster. "He had no cardiovascular system."

Gregory St. Germain, 24, was arrested by Lighthouse Point police and charged with burglary to an occupied dwelling, battery, possession of stolen property and grand theft. Police said Foster recovered all her property, including what Foster said was a gold identification bracelet given to her as a teenager by a boyfriend as a Christmas present. "He almost got away with the most sentimental thing I've kept for years," she said.

Oh, the Lighthouse Point police spokesman, described Foster's actions as "courageous," but cautioned that burglars are often armed and dangerous. "She's had some advance training and obviously is very physically fit and confident," he said.

Foster said she'd trained for years for such a situation. "I wasn't going to sit back and let something like this happen," she said.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flbmarathoner20120sbjan20,0,5476516.story”

“Lotsa Xbox, not much exercise,     LOL”

“He needs to steal a wii.”

“Good for her!”

“LOL

http://www.break.com/index/kids-rob-police-station.html

14 year old and a 12 year old....pulling an armed robbery..IN A POLICE STATION?

You know we just had a murder in Augusta with a 12 year old involved. I say put em in Gen Pop for a year.”

“http://www.honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=699211”
minish223
8:22:45 AM
3/27/08


*BE ADVISED RATED R*”

“Heads up!”

“LOL !!!”

“'Shiny' nude man charged with peeping

A naked man with his body slathered with petroleum jelly was arrested Tuesday evening after a woman complained he was lurking outside her apartment at Dougherty Commons.

The woman said she heard leaves rustling outside her apartment at about 7:45 p.m., and when she looked out the window saw a naked "shiny" man with a flashlight, according to police.

Officers searched the area and found a 30-year-old man, who although was clothed, had petroleum jelly on his body, according to police.

The man was charged with peeping Tom, public indecency and loitering and prowling, police said.”

“I wasn't shiny, I was positively glowing.”

“sounds like he was just trying to prevent cancer”

“Stolen Camera Recovered With Photos Minneapolis Burglary Suspects Took of Themselves
Tuesday , May 06, 2008

A stolen camera thieves used to take pictures of themselves after burglarizing the home of a Minneapolis couple has been recovered, police told MyFOXTwinCities.

The bandits stole items with sentimental value, including family jewelry and war medals, from Howard and Marlene Weller.

They then snapped photos of themselves wearing the jewelry with a camera they also swiped. Police later found the camera.

"If they had any brains, they would have taken out the chips," Howard Weller told MyFOXTwinCities.

Anyone with information is asked to call Minneapolis police.”

“LeBEAU, La. — A 46-year-old woman has been booked with murder in the death of her 90-year-old husband after she ran over him with their pickup following an argument, the St. Landry Parish Sheriff's Office said Monday.

Witnesses told investigators that Diana and Claude Bihm argued in the parking lot of Stelly's Grocery on Sunday and continued the fight while inside the store. As they left the store, Diana Bihm got into the truck's driver's seat while her husband walked away toward a car wash, the sheriff's office said.

"The female drove the vehicle to the edge of the concrete parking lot and stopped there briefly. The witnesses stated at that point, the female subject proceeded at a high rate of speed, hitting the male subject with the vehicle, knocking down a car wash concrete base vacuum cleaner and partially running over the subject with the front of the vehicle," Sheriff Bobby Guidroz said in a news release.

Claude Bihm later died from injuries he sustained after being struck, authorities said.

Bihm was booked with second-degree murder.”

“Officers searched the area and found a 30-year-old man, who although was clothed, had petroleum jelly on his body, according to police.

minish223
9:12:54 AM
4/25/08

Hmmm I wonder what part of his body had the vaseline on it?”

“"Might be walking with a limp" indeed.

http://www.charlotte.com/news/story/624972.html”

“And, obviously, he might be walking with a limp.


Oh-and possibly missing a bite out of his diick.”

“SUMMERFIELD - Sheriff's detectives say a Summerfield man and his girlfriend, who are accused of drilling holes in gas tanks to steal gas, slipped up when one of them left a drill behind that had his name etched on it.

The case began last week, when holes were reported in gas tanks.

John Oldenburg, 44, and Darlene Kimbriel, 39, wound up in jail Thursday facing numerous charges, including grand theft, burglary of a conveyance and criminal mischief, according to Marion County Sheriff's Office records. Because deputies say they found a methamphetamine lab at the home, the couple also face drug charges.

http://www.ocala.com/article/20080628/NEWS/806280369/1025/NEWS&title=Personalized_drill_leads_to_gas_theft_suspects”