Stupid Criminal Tricks

“I thought about putting this on the ‘Crime does not pay!’ thread but thought it warranted it’s own thread.

I get a kick out of these stories you hear about dumb criminals. These are not the evil masterminds you see portrayed in the movies. They’re just plain stupid.

One of my favorites was the guy who held up a gas station in my hometown. He let the attendant get a real good description of the getaway car including the license plate number (right down to the lettering on the tires). Just before he made his escape, he asked the attendant where the nearest fast food joint was. The cops found him stuffing his face inside the McDonald’s about ½ mile away! He couldn’t even get take out!

Anyone got any good ones?”

“My favorite is the guy who robbed a bank wearing the brand new mortorcycle helmet with sun-shade visor that he got for Christmas. You would think he would have thought twice about that since his girlfriend had spent so much extra having his full name lettered on the back of it. LMAO!”

“but back in my Karate teaching days, my Teacher told me this story and I still laugh about it.

So this "bad guy" decides to rob a martial arts school (only the teacher was there at the time). So Mr. "Bad guy" comes in witha gun and takes any money and stuff that happened to be there. He decided he wanted the computer to, so he put the gun in the waistband of his pants and picks up the computer. Then the karate teacher takes the gun from the bad guys pants and proceeds to kick his butt.

I really hope this happened”

“There is a liquor store in Little Rock owned by a cop. He has a back room where the cops hang out when they are off duty. This liquor store is located in an urban area and has had several robbery attempts made in it.

Every crook who has attempted to rob this store has been shot, most of them killed. Every couple years another thief gets shot.”

“some robbers attached a chain from the bumper of their car to an atm thinking they could take the whole machine. Well it didn't work and they cut their losses and drove away... leaving the atm with the chain still around it, and the bumper (which had been pulled off the car) attached to the chain..... and the license plate attached to the bumper”

“LMFAO!!!!


8)”

“I heard of one recently where a guy held up a liquor store, and after he got the money he demanded the clerk to give him a bottle of liquor. The clerk refused because he didn't think the guy was 21 or older, so the robber gets mad and shows the clerk his ID to prove he was in fact over 21. The clerk gave the cops all of his info off of his driver's license. The cops picked him from his home shortly after.”

“EVERETT -- A man who handed a bank teller a note demanding money with his girlfriend's name and phone number on the back has been sentenced to more than 13 years in prison.

Curtis Anthony Sherman, 35, who was sentenced Thursday in Snohomish County Superior Court for first-degree robbery, now has 14 felony convictions, including burglary, auto theft, drug possession and assault.

Sherman, most recently released from prison on Christmas Eve, was convicted by a jury for a holdup at a Wells Fargo bank branch in a Fred Meyer store on Jan. 5 and pleaded guilty to second-degree robbery for a stickup at a Key Bank branch Jan. 4.

In the Key Bank heist, investigators said, a teller was handed a note demanding $10,000 and warning against use of an exploding dye pack or alarm. On the back of the note, the teller found a name and phone number that turned out to be that of Sherman's girlfriend.

A day later, at the Wells Fargo branch, witnesses testified that Sherman asked a taxicab driver to help him find a bank open on Saturday, borrowed pen and paper to write a holdup note that was easily traced to the cab, then stiffed the cabbie.

Sherman was arrested Jan. 6 for investigation of shoplifting in the same Fred Meyer store that housed the Wells Fargo branch and was then recognized by police from the bank robbery descriptions.”

“You think she dumped him over that?”

“take a tag off a item thats cheeper than the one you want and put it on a more expensive one! it works!, well never done it but ive heard!”

“Tag switching will not work if rfid's are imbedded somewhere in the item. The bar code scan must match the rfid or alarms go off.

Only the larger stores do this on expensive items now, but as rfid technology gets cheaper and smaller it will be more common.”

“May 30, 2002

Man charged with tossing firecracker at police car
From Press staff reports

ATLANTIC CITY - A city man is behind bars after purposely tossing a firecracker at an occupied police car, authorities said Wednesday.

Officer Andrew Leonard saw Jakeem Bright, 22, of Rhode Island Avenue, shooting fireworks into the air at Metropolitan and Pacific avenues while patrolling the area at 9:43 p.m. Monday, according to police.

When Leonard approached Bright, the man threw a firecracker at his police car, and the "flaming ball hit the officer's windshield and exploded into a shower of sparks," Sgt. Michael Tullio said in a press release.

Leonard got out of the car and arrested Bright. The officer wasn't injured. His car had some burn damage, authorities said.

Bright faces several charges, including aggravated assault on a police officer and weapons and fireworks offenses. Police took him to the Atlantic County jail.”

“I wonder if they have suggested he change his name yet....”

“about 6 years ago we had a couple of wrecked cars on our rear lot...
someone tried to seal a rx7. The theifs moved a vehicle that was drivable in front of it with the keys inside. they proceded to break off the key lock on the door and the stearing wheel and tried to start it and guess what!! most if not all of the tranny parts were on the passenger side and on the rear.. Just where did they think that they were going to go....stupid!!!”

“I thought this thread was about John Ashcroft?”

“If crooks weren't stupid cops wouldn't have jobs.”

“Mr.Ashcroft is seeing nobody-his head is up his a$$.”

“Hey, let's hear it for Curtis L. Boyd. As long as he's alive the rest of us don't have to worry about being the stupidest person in the world.”

“Yah, but we do have to worry about him procreating...”

“Not too much where he's going. At least not for awhile anyway.”

“hey...at least he tried...better than sticking a gun to the teller. ya'll did hear about the college kid that cashed one of those Clearing House Checks they send us all. The bank actually cashed it.....he had to give the money back though”

“Hey, I think I was in the Navy with that guy!”

“INSERT TEXT

Pedestrian's pride in pot plant results in arrest

Associated Press

Published Jun 24, 2002

CANTON, Ohio -- A man who allegedly boasted to a passer-by while carrying a marijuana plant down the street ended up getting arrested by the man - a plainclothes police officer.

``Would you believe I'm walking down the street in the middle of the day with this pot plant,'' Daniel Fornash of Canton said as he walked down the street Thursday, according to police.

The passer-by responded, ``Would you believe I'm a cop?''

Canton Detective Joe Mongold, who was returning from court, cited Fornash with misdemeanor charges of cultivation and possession of marijuana.

Authorities said Fornash told police the marijuana had been growing in the front yard of a vacant house, where he had been nurturing it, and that he decided to dig it up and take it home.”

“When I was but a sprout, one of my mother's hippie friends was driving us through his neighborhood, and as we drove by the house of one of his friends, he pointed out the marijuana plant the guy had growing in a planter in his front yard.

"Don't smoke that #&%!$ son, it makes ya stupid..."”

“ok, i swear this really happened....

back in college, this dood robbed a liquer store near our house. well, he robbed the store after a big snow storm..........on foot. he walked home & the cops followed the footprints to his fornt door. DOH! ! !”

“Damn to He!! ALL undercover cops!!!”

“http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-376704,00.html
August 07, 2002

Debit card victim wins against odds
By Robin Young



A WOMAN whose debit card was stolen found herself in profit when she checked her bank balance — because the thief had used it to bet on the horses and his winnings were paid directly into her account.

Jacqueline Boanson was described in court yesterday as “the happiest victim of theft ever”. Magistrates at Cheltenham were told that after her card was stolen she looked at her bank statement, and found that the balance had gone up by £291.40.

The money had been paid into her account by Ladbrokes as Andrew Cameron’s winnings from two £50 bets on horse races.

Cameron, of Cheltenham, admitted stealing Mrs Boanson’s card from the communal post at the block of flats where she lived.

His solicitor, Howard Ogden, told the court: “The horses won but, instead of paying my client the cash, Ladbrokes paid the winnings into her account. It was only when she inquired at Ladbrokes that they discovered how the money had been credited to her. Andy Cameron did her proud and she must be the happiest victim that we ever had in this court.”

In fact, Mrs Boanson had inadvertently placed that punter’s dream: a no-risk bet, as Sean Boyce of Ladbrokes explained: “If the bets placed on a stolen debit card had been losing ones they would have been voided and the stake money would have been returned, but in these exceptional circumstances it would seem a bit churlish to deprive Mrs Boanson of her winnings.

“Cameron was on a hiding to nothing, because he would have needed complete ID matching the card to get paid in cash.”

Cameron, who pleaded guilty to stealing the card and obtaining the two bets by deception, was placed on probation for 12 months.”

“How about this - in high school me and some buddies were cruising around causing trouble one night. We pulled into an empty parking garage and threw several bottle rockets out the window and watched them fly and bounce around and then all go off with loud bangs. It was pretty cool at the time! Then we quickly exited the parking garage, only to see 2 cops who had been eating at an all night diner across the street running to their squad car.”

“I can't believe he bet so conservatively with a stolen card!! Stupid is as stupid does!!

SnowDude Glad you escaped with your life!”

“This guy takes the cake!

Man's Excuse For Wreck: Tired From Making Fake Checks
Suspect Also Admits Doing Cocaine

JIM THORPE, Pa. -- It wasn't exactly the best excuse he could have given.

A Pennsylvania man told a judge that he dozed off at the wheel and crashed into a school bus, causing serious injuries, because he'd been up late the night before making counterfeit checks. He also fessed-up to not having a driver's license and to doing a little cocaine.

Charles Digiglio's been sentenced to two to four years for the accident and will be doing a concurrent sentence for his part in a $500,000 check scam.

He can use part of his jail time figuring out how to pay insurance companies about $230,000 in restitution.”

“I think the cocaine got to his brain....or he suddenly got spiritual.”

“I was in Jim Thorpe last week mt biking. Beautiful area but the locals are.... well, let's just say I could not get 'dueling banjos' out of my head.”

“Hey, one of our TTers just made settlement near there, didn't they?
Mauch Chunk, baby!”

“www.augustachronicle.com


Man wearing cooler holds up store

By Sylvia Cooper
Staff Writer


A Martinez man who police say tried to rob a convenience store Friday morning with a cooler on his head is instead cooling his heels in jail.

Michael Steven Pavlich, 48, of the 4400 block of Pierwood Way, was arrested and charged with criminal attempted armed robbery shortly after police said he tried to rob the Circle K store at 216 Furys Ferry Road about 8:30 a.m., according to a Richmond County Sheriff's Office report.

Deputies said Mr. Pavlich entered the store and took a plastic foam cooler, punched a hole in it so he could see, placed it on his head and approached the counter. The clerk said she heard him say something but could not make out the words because of the cooler.

A witness told police a man came around the counter and said something that sounded like "everybody get your hands up." When he saw that the man was armed with only a pellet pistol, he took it from him and pushed him out of the store, the report stated.

The man got into a white Honda being driven by a woman, but the witness and the clerk were able to get a tag number and description of the car and report them to the Sheriff's Department. Deputies stopped the vehicle a few miles from the store at North Belair Road and Dogwood Way in Columbia County near the woman's residence.

Police took both into custody but did not arrest the woman after determining she did not know that the man had tried to rob the store, according to Maj. Ken Autrey.”

“They gotta send that guy to the slammer so he can learn how to really hold up a store.”

“C'mon Geobeet. You gotta admit that was a great lead paragraph. LMAO!!”

“you know,
I told Father Goose to use the Nixon face mask
But he didn't listen to me!”

“Right Lizs, which only goes to prove that journalists are smarter than dumb crooks, but then so are cops, so it's not saying much.”

“LOL, Leaf! Next time I'll use the Janet Reno facemask, that oughtta scare the livin' $hit out of 'em!!!”

“Did hunter Thompson teach you anything?”

“Why would I pay any attention to some clod with two last names, huh?”

“Poo on shoe convicts thief
September 19, 2002

A CLUMP of dog poo on a shoe has tripped up an armed robber who didn't watch his step on his way to hold up a Gold Coast TAB.

While 26-year-old Jacob Michael Smith hid his face during the armed robbery by wrapping a sheet around his head, he neglected to wipe a piece of dog poo off his shoe which formed an unfortunate pattern that would lead to his arrest.

The poo shape was noticed on a photo taken by a security camera and was enhanced by police scientific officer Sergeant Alan Piper.

"It's not rocket science. It's as plain as poo on your shoe," Sgt Piper said today.

"It could have been one of a thousand or ten thousand shoes, but because that poo was there it was creating a great big feature that allowed us to go to a positive identification."

The investigation also revealed Smith had probably stepped in several clumps of dog excrement before the robbery.

"I'd say there has been some more poo on the shoe but it has worn away," said Sgt Piper, who admitted also having to do a smell test.

"It's not chewing gum or road tar, it was dog poo."

The robbery happened on March 26, 2000.

An off-duty detective driving by the TAB also smelled something unpleasant prior to the hold-up and noted the number plate of the getaway vehicle which eventually led police to Smith and the shoe.

Of the 70 frames of security film taken during the hold-up, just one showed the poo pattern.

"It's the first time I've ever acquired a pattern left by dog poo," said the veteran scientific officer.

"I guess he should have watched his step."

In June this year, Smith was sentenced to 10 years and ten months in prison on charges of robbery with circumstances of aggravation, being armed and in company, and unlawful use of a motor vehicle with circumstances of aggravation.

www.news.com”

“I wanted to put this on the, "I need a boot print" thread earlier.”

“Did they give the reward money to the dog???”

“Two Men Busted For Drying Marijuana, Right Under Cop's Nose

Chattanooga Police tell us two men were driving along Rossville Boulevard with two hefty sacks of marijuana. It needed to be dried out.

They had what they thought was a brilliant idea; to pull into the Fast Food and Fuel convenience store at the intersection with 28th Street because they have a microwave oven inside.

That was about 7:30 Friday morning, about the time an officer's patrol car was parked outside. You would think, RED-FLAG! Don't dry out your pot here.

But police say Rudy Raines went inside, saw Officer David Ashley, spoke to him for a moment, then went right over to the microwave oven. And yes, he put his stash into the oven, turned up the heat, and filled the store with the aroma of marijuana.

Officer Tetzel Tillery, who also came to the scene, says "shortly afterward the clerk and officer Ashley saw the suspect quickly pull the sack out of the microwave. Officer Ashley went up to him and asked what he was doing, and saw he had a large bag of marijuana, and admitted that he was trying to dry out the marijuana."

Officer Ashley went to Rain's car which was parked at a gas pump, and found more pot laying in plain view near the gear shift on the car's console.

He also found a second man, William King, asleep in the pasenger seat. When Ashley woke King up and questioned him about the marijuana, King said he didn't know anything about it.

Needless to say, both men were arrested. About a pound of marijuana was recovered in total, some of it in smaller individual sacks. Both men are charged with felony posession of marijuana with intent to distribute.

Rains told Officer Ashely he and Mr. King were on the way to a drug rahabilitation clinic. It's not clear whether they are patients, or were meeting with other people to sell or share the pot.

www.newschannel9.com”

“i can't believe they got caught! bizarre.”

“It must have been set on "High"”

“they were "baking"!”