Hikers Glossary

“let's try that again shall we




hikers glossary”

“three times a charm........”

“Thats cool!

I wish I could do something like that for my clubs website.

8)”

“2 of my favorites are:

Flatlander
A person from one of the southern states (i.e. Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, or, God forbid, New Jersey) who is unwise in the ways of the woods. Often spotted in a $40,000 SUV that they
don't want to get dirty, flatlanders are normally found
unprepared for their time in the woods, and can be
easily distinguished by their whining and complaining
about the "ungodly cold weather" anytime the
temperature drops below 60oF. See also "Gaper

GAPER:
An odd creature, not native to New Hampshire, usually
considered a mammal, that lopes through the forest
muttering unintelligible things like, "Jeez, I'm cold",
"Where are we?", "I got my jeans dirty!", and "Man, this
cooler is getting heavy". One of the less intelligent
creatures, the Gaper typically migrates north during the
warm weather months. The term is derived from the
creature's habit of standing slack-jawed (mouth agape)
and staring at things the locals take for granted, like
trees with colored leaves. In winter, often used to
describe those skiers who stop completely at the top of a steep pitch and stare blankly down the slope, often
blocking the way for other, more prepared skiers
travelling behind them.”

“LMFAO!!!!!

8)

Those are good!!!!”

“'The real "meat" of your boot. This is the piece or pieces that surround your foot and hold the laces.'”

“Hey Ped are ya out there they have M#&%!$ listed in their glossary........hehehehehe”

“Now that is funny!!!!!


LMFAO!!!!!”

“M@ssholes
LMAO!!!!!!”

“I live in (upstate NY) the Catskills Mountains. Have you ever seen upstate NY? The Catskill & Adirondack mountains are very nice. The Adirondacks were some of the best canoe trips that I've taken in 35 years of hiking this & other countries. Mass & Conn has some beautiful country too.”

“I found these driving rules at m#&%!$.com and had to copy and paste them. ROTFLMBO

The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury. Due north of the center we find the South End. This is not to be confused with South Boston, which lies directly east from the South End. North of the South End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End. And, the Back Bay was filled in years ago. Basic Rules for Driving in Boston (subject to change at any time):
1 Always look right and left before proceeding through a green light.
2 When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow for oncoming traffic to pass.
3 Never, ever stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
4 The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
5 Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving, thanks to the Department of Transportation, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
6 Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork.
7 Double-park in the North End of Boston and South Boston, unless triple-parking is available.
8 Always look both ways when running a red light.
9 Honk your horn the instant the light changes.
10 Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
11 Breakdown lanes may also end without warning causing traffic jams as people merge back in.
12 If you should break down, allow your vehicle to come to a stop in the center lane. If road conditions are hazardous, exit your vehicle, without looking, and stand next to it, with your back to oncoming traffic.
13 Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
14 To signal a lane change, look in the direction you're about to go, as you do so. Wearing a baseball cap is considered an extra safety measure.
15 Making eye contact revokes your right of way.
16 Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
17 Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up loudly and chase them up on the curb.
18 Pedestrians have no rights.
19 On a multi-lane highway, always drive in the left lane, even if there are others wanting to pass. 20 Stay in the left lane until the last possible instant before cutting across all lanes to the exit.
21 When making a left turn at an intersection with a red light, glare at the oncoming drivers, inch your way into the intersection, and floor it when the green light from the other direction turns yellow.
22 When merging, floor it, as you hit the "on ramp" and proceed immediately to the furthest left hand lane.
23 When road conditions are hazardous, swerve in and out of lanes, to pass slower moving vehicles.
24 Communicating with other drivers and pedestrians is important. Gesture often.
25 The furthest right lane is reserved for passing. The furthest left lane is reserved for slower moving vehicles.
26 Always bring your cell phone with you. Highway driving is a perfect time to chat with your friends and loved ones.
27 If you miss your exit, stop abruptly and back up.
28 When another car pulls up close behind you and "flashes their brights", slam on your breaks.
29 When entering a tunnel, always slow down and pause before entering, even if there is no traffic or reason for delay.
30 When faced with a lane detour, due to construction, always pass as many complying vehicles as possible, wait until the last possible second, then swerve into the specified lane.
31 Be prepared for abundant construction detours.
32 Taxi Cab drivers are highly trained professionals. Observe and learn from their masterful techniques and driving skills.
33 Only those pedestrians not looking where they're going, head and eyes fixed firmly forward, are allowed to cross in front of traffic. Be sure to "break" hard and stop as close to them as possible.
34 Tip: Only pedestrians crossing within "Cross Walks" have legal rights. Pedestrians outside of "Cross Walks" are "fair game".”

“That sounds like me driveing!

8)”

“heh.. hilarious.. I will definitely add this link to my website.. :)”

“I like doing number 22.

8)”

“I saw a very very funny one at Rock Gap Shelter in NC last summer. It was so funny, I wish I had a chance to copy it. I've thought of adding a hiker lexicon section on my web site - the good stuff like PUDS (pointless ups and downs), MSR (another name for fuel/air bomb), GoreTex (confidence trick developed by W. L. Gore), etc.”