I AM A BASKETBALL god

“This never gets tiring for me.

Would ya'll like to try women's softball next?”

“Who won?”

“arc, (or maybe I should say "Most Worshipful, Supreme, Grand Poobah"),

you have indeed shown your abilities in football and basketball. I, sir, am impressed. H@ll, I am even under the impression that some Gators are "good folks". You are indeed a true ambassador to the sporting world. I will now work on obtaining tickets to a game on the Hill. You have deemed yourself worthy.”

“Maryland and I.

First order of business is to put the bad JUJU on violin and crazymike. Both of you will grow older, you'll get wrinkles, loose your memories, and your hair will fall out.

Dayhiker is a complete gentleman so he gets to grow old gracefully.

Dunadan gets to have a beautiful life. Not only did his team loose, but he picked Kent St. as his one point team. He deserves something good after that.”

“What's so great about arc? I want to talk to his stockbroker...uh bracket picker.

Good call arc, we all bow before you. (In my best Wayne and Garth voice) we're not worthy, we're not worthy, we're not worthy!”

“Weird game......

......did those yokels tear up College Park again?

I haven't cracked the paper yet.”

“Chili, you are truly Da Man! A long and happy life to you. May you win all of your cases without the need for your father to be Satan. You do remember where Keano Reeves comes from, in the movie, don't ya?

Congratulations, Tom. The whole freakin' tournament was weird this year. Maryland tried to loose but came through at the end. FEAR THE TURTLE!

Dayhiker, my friend/stockbroker only made a couple of suggestions. He had a couple of losers, but that Kent St. pick was brilliant. I picked Kansas, Duke, Mayland, and Arizona to be in the final four. I had Kansas winning it. He picked Maryland to win it all. I'm feeling VERY good about retirement now.

But then retirement must be good because..... I AM A god!

It's a darn good thing I'm not married. That way I don't have to answer to a higher power.”

“Any excuse is as good as any other for a nice friendly riot.”

“I pledge obeisance to you, oh more-than-wonderful-one!
How the heck do you do it? Will you divulge info to your devotees, should they request it?
Well, the team made it back to Lawrence, and we filled the football stadium to welcome them back. We really enjoy the basketball team, even if they didn't bring the trophy home, this year.
If Drew Gooden stays another year, watch out world. Even without Gooden, we should be a force to reckon with.
Anyway.... I see there is a baseball thread going....is that the crack of a bat I hear?”

“The secret of my powers, Dunadan, lie in Dorito chips and a comfy chair. You cannot watch college football without Doritos and a comfy chair. Once you have eaten your fill of Doritos and your butt goes numb, you are ready to become a football good. Once you become a football god, a world of possibilities opens. Other sport seasons roll around, and voila, before you know it, you are undisputed master of the universe.

But you always return to your roots. WHEN DOES COLLEGE FOOTBALL START?

Baseball? Used to love to play it. Can't stand to watch it. That's true for me with most sports. I'm not much of a couch potato(e). BUT I DO LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL. There must be drugs in the grits.”

“Spring practice helps me make it through the off season.”

“What's a grit? Dang arc, you are Southern now. You know grits are plural.

When does college football start? We've been over this. Alabama has three seasons, football season, recruiting season, and spring practice.”

“Of course, Alabama's recruiting season will be somewhat short for the next couple of years.....


j/k dayhiker,,,,couldn't resist,,,it's the Orange in my blood that caused it.”

“Our Spring Game, THE ORANGE AND BLUE GAME, takes place this Saturday. Ron Zook has installed a varied running attack as well as the wide open passing. Next year should be interesting considering we have the number two and three all time high school running backs from Florida (Emmitt Smith, who played for the Gators, was number one.) in our backfield. Our tackles are a bit undersized though. One is 6'7", 350lbs, and the other is 6'7", 360lbs.”

“The bigger they are,,,,,,the harder they fall.

I sure hope we roll out the carpet and make Coach Zook feel welcome on the Hill.”

“Stats for Neyland Stadium:

Record Attendance: Sept. 19, 1998 -Tennessee Vs. Florida. 107,653....

Capacity: 102,854

Needless to say, it is a big game. I look forward to it.”

“upon further review, it looks like the 2000 game was a little bigger crowd.

Sept. 16, 2000
Florida
108,768

I think Zook can be entertained by this type of turnout. Welcome Coach Zook. I am sure you will enjoy yourself.”

“Since the godly one has blessed me with a good life, and is overlooking my transgression against the Kent St Golden Flashes, I am feeling up to a wild and crazy prediction.
Kansas will beat Kansas St this fall. There will be wild jubilation in Lawrence, and much gnashing of teeth in Manhattan.
This Mangino dude is making a believer out of me.
I only hope that we can take on some of you good old boys down South in a few years. Yep, the word is out ....KU is the place the up and coming high school recruit wants to play!
I'll teach you guys to "wave the wheat".”

“Arclite - TT Sportsman of the Year (2001-2002)”

“It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
- Mark Twain”

“Dude, you mess with my god, you mess with me. I failed to notice your picks in the tournament. Maybe it was just too complicated for you to understand.
May great bolts of thunder fly up your____.”

“yeah, what Dunadan said.”

“Request permission to sign off TT, oh Olympic wonder. I have to go to work.(Now, you could reallly help me with that situation.)”

“Oh man! How did that get there? I thought this was the "Quote of the Day" thread.”

“Scared?”

“My blessings on your worklife, Dunadan. Be fruitful and spread your good works throughout the land.

My followers are a fierce bunch, violin. We may have to roadtrip to NJ for your crucifixion. More bad JUJU for you dood. Your hemorrhoids shall be as fierce as my followers.

BTW everyone, I got a dog. Truly my existence is blessed.”

“Hemorrhoids?!!

As if the wrinkles, memory loss and baldness weren’t bad enough!

You are truly a wicked deity, arclite.”

“you bought Ole Smokey????”

“Please tell us that it's a bloodhound, Arc! That would be too great.
What kind of dog would a Gator fan buy? The devotees want to know.”

“A bloodhound is alright, a blue tic hound is pretty cool, but my bear is an incredible chow. He's jet black and has the blue chow-tongue. He's very small (38.5lbs) and was probably the runt of his litter. I got him from pet rescue in Miami (Good lord what a pit. South Florida is truly vile). He's very friendly with strangers, for a chow-bear. He would rather lick ya than bite ya. He is smart as a whip, as was my last chow. They are extremely stubborn dogs and have a mind of their own (reminds me of me). I read a quote that says, "If you want a dog who thinks you are the god of his universe, don't get a chow." He's cool. He's my buddy. I love the little guy!”

“train him to lay on the couch, eat potato chips and slug beer from a bowl and you will have the perfect sports dog.”

“WHAT! No posters today?

5/2 is the cutoff date. I'm keeping a list of who's been naughty and nice.”

“Oh, Divine Picker of (noses) sports teams. Have I transgressed against Thee? Will I have to wander forty days and forty nights in the land of the Gator?
My posts get thrown to the previous day because Matt is in the East time zone.
Everything is Mangino fever around here, (yeah right). We are a basketball school through and through and the football team is just gonna have to prove themselves. Sorry that's just the way it is.”

“Congratulations on getting Carolyn Peck for your women's team, Arc.
BTW, I watched Apocalypse Now last night. I had forgotten most of it other than the eerieness of the whole film. "What is that?" "It's Arclite!"
KU has some hot prospects being recruited for next year's basketball team. There is a 6'6" guard from Delaware that took his junior college team to the national finals and they only lost by one point.
There is another hot prospect that formerly signed with Arkansas, but is backing out now that Nolan Richardson is gone. He is going to visit Illinois, Virginia, and another school along with KU.
Things are looking good for us.
How about you guys?”

“our top recruit bolted to the NBA,,,,but I am sure Calipari will manage to fill out the roster pretty well.”

“Yeah, Calipari knows the ropes real well. He will stay at the top of the game, because he has been there.
BTW, Arc, I wanted to let you know that my first allegiance is to Marvin Gardens, so if he calls I will have to discontinue my posts on this thread. Until then, I will maintain the faith. I'm sure that you, of all the gods, understand loyalty and prior commitment.”

“Thanks, Dunadan. The women's SEC is the strongest league by far. Florida has had trouble competing there. Jeremy Foley (athletic director) has done an excellent job getting coaches. Most of our teams are ranked (women's tennis #1). Peck is an excellent fit.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MARVIN GARDENS? That infidel is sick! Stick with me, I'll teach you to be crazy as well.”

“but arc, Marvin wears a plutonium skull cap”

“Our women's team has always been strong until the last two years. Coach Marian Washinton has 500 wins and has put us in the NCAA tourney many times, but we fell off the side of the globe this last season. I hear that her recruiting class is one of the strongest in the nation, so things are looking up.
My wife and I love going to the women's games. I hear a lot of people say that ther don't enjoy the women's game. What do you guys think? I find it exciting, and these women are very talented. I don't compare it to the men's game because it is different. But I can also enjoy a highschool game. If you have kids, you get to enjoy their sports for what they are, regardless of how the "big boys" play the game.
We can actually get tickets to the women's games without having to sell our souls, and we still get to sit in Allen Fieldhouse which is a trip.”

“So, you're saying that in a celebrity death match, you could take Marvin? If that is the case, I could be convinced to change my loyalty.”

“hmm dun, anybody who hangs out in places where the chicks use the urinals standing up is bound to be a tough hombre. I am putting my money or arc!”

“or = on”

“Is that a logic proposition, chili? Hey, if you spend a lot of time at women's sporting events, you're bound to run into some female (appearing) urinal users.

I'm not much of a sports watcher, Dunadan. College football is the only sport I make an effort to watch. And if it's a nice day, I'd rather be outside than watching college football. It's nice that you and your wife support the home team. Gotta be more exciting than threshing wheat.

Marvin won't have any teeth when I'm done with him:
I'll pound Marvin
In the Garden
'Till he's starvin'.

I'm soooo pretty...”

“Yeah, Arc, I would rather be out and about, too. That is why basketball is such a good sport. Get into the gym and stay warm while being entertained.
I'll bet Ayn Rand would use a urinal if she were still around. What do you guys say we go for another 200 or more posts on that one?
Well, you're not floating my butterfly, but your poetry stings like a bee. Marvin will perhaps never see it though, because he just doesn't realize how "cosmic" sports really are, so he doesn't check out this thread. Say something about his mother. Maybe that will get the rumble started.”

“MARVIN'S MOTHER WAS AYN RAND!

We can kill two birds with one stone.”

“Masterful! But, I think your logic is a bit scewed. I will get Pedxing to check it out, thoroughly. Very thoroughly.”

“arc, I must admit, in all my travels and in all of my days of hanging out with my clients (and I have seen some crazy things), I never saw any chicks (much less biker chicks) using the urinal.

The picture that I conjure up with that has "tough" written all over it. I am still putting my money on the "sports god".”

“skewed”

“screwed?”

“Who played basketball in highschool, here?”