“Hey, longtime lurker, I've learned a lot from you folks. Problem- My wife is a great lady, lets me act like a 10 year old and go hiking pretty much whenever I want with my buddies. The thought of going alone(even on dayhikes) completrely freaks her out. Sometimes my hiking buddies can't go, and I'm itching to get out "there" Have any of you had this problem? How do I put her at ease(she's afraid of everything from bears, spiders to pyscho's)? Part of me wants to join hiking groups, but part of me is thrilled with the idea of trying a trip solo. Know of any good West Michigan hiking groups? or how to convince my sig. other to let me go(I respect her to much to simply say I'm goin")
Thanks in advance”

“lie”

“Tell her you're participating in an environmental research project. Be as vague as possible. You won't be lying.”

“???? Chili36”

“Detroit, just a little humor. I was suggesting that you always tell her you have a backpacking partner. A solution to your problem in that you would never have a "solo" trip (so far as she knows)”

“Listen to Limpy.”

“oops, wrong thread”

“Chili- I thought about that, but with my luck that's when I will twist an ankle and hurt myself. Besides I need to save my lies for the nudiebar nights ;)”

“LOL. I fully understand.”

“What she doesn't know, won't hurt her. It just isn't worth sitting down and reasoning with her. This will only give you a headache. However, be careful not to get caught. If she finds out, it could cost you 1/2 of everything you own.”

“Detroit,

Her worries may be the result of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. If she worries abou everything, all the time, then she may need to see a doctor about it.

And for those of you who love to bash armchair psychologists, I'm speaking from the position of one who's been in the same boat.”

“btw Detroit, welcome to the board.”

“Okay, putting on the black hat now.

Is it possible that she simply wants someone else to contact if she suspects you've been stepping out? I'm not suggesting that you are, Detroit, just wondering if that's what she's thinking.

People can think all sorts of weird things that don't have any basis in reality. Just read one of Marvin Garden's posts for proof.”

“Detroit - you can always hike w/ the rest of the Michiganders on this site (myself included).

Regarding solo trips and your wife - you're best bet is to tell her the truth. After one successful trip, she may be less afraid of you doing it again and again.”

“Just tell her you are going with naked ape and wanderer (both axe muderers) and she should be just fine. LOL!! I had the same issue with my wife, about going alone, and when I told her I was meeting up with people I had met on the internet she came unglued. Tell her she just needs to adapt to you going, or come along with you so you wont be alone.”

“You have to watch out for those people you meet on the internet you know.

All jesting aside, if it weren't for the people I've met here I probably wouldn't backpack much, if at all. I got tired of going alone earlier this year, and my usual partner (younger brother) just can't go as much anymore.

So it can be good to meet hiking partners on the internet.”

“Detroit: I had/have the same problem. I started going solo all the time after my brother hurt his leg. My wife worried terribly.

Lying never helps anything. I sat her down and we discussed her worries logically; which of course didn't work much. She does want me to go, though, and over time she worries less. I tell here exactly where I'm going and how I plan to deal with unexpected circumstances. I call at the trailhead after the drive, and after the hike, whenever possible.

Ironically, my group hiking with the bunch here has helped, too. She felt much better after I went out in Mar, when it was 10 deg, with 9 other people, including ladies. I guess now she dosen't think I'm as weird!

At least you know she cares...”

“Longtime Lurker, first time poster. Is that like long time lister, first time caller?

Welcome, Detroit!”

“Hey Detroit, who the hell is wearing the pants in your family? You probably hat eit when the old lady dumps hundereds of dollars into those worthless candle and pampered chef parties, yet ya let her do it anyway. Get out, hike, if she can't deal with it, too damned bad.*

*I am single due to the angst represented above.

BTW - Welcome to TT, once you grow a pair, you are welcome to join The HeMan Woman Hatres Club.

PS - I'm just joking, ya gullible Tiger Fan.!”

“Whats up?

Welcome!

8)”

“What about if you promised her you'd bring along a two-way radio, or even a cell phone?”

“Buddha, you know you like the candles! Gets rid of the stank!”

“My wife would worry more if I went out alone in DETROIT!”

“LMAO Aero, ain't that the truth.”

“Ya that place is a hole but I have Gary and thats even worse!

8)”

“Have you tried getting her to go on easy local hikes? I'm thinking Kensington here - no laughter, please. Once she realizes how tame the whole thing really is, she might not care so much.

Oh, and maybe go to a nature center that's doing something on the wild animals of southern Michigan. Since there are no bears or other dangerous animals - don't mention the massassagua rattler - in the area, she might not think about that as a problem.

Then, get some FBI stats from rural counties where most people hike in Michigan. Since things like murders are rare, it'll bolster the case.

Oh, and since I'm a reformed lurker myself, welcome to the boards.”

“Sounds like a cell phone is your only hope of going solo. There are plenty of people here to hike with -it's strange Crazy Mike only said"What's up"instead of "wanna go hiking- do ya -do ya -do ya!"”

“BTW, Detroit has some great hiking. I used to live near Chicago. The hiking is 1000% better around here - sorry crazy mike.

West Michigan hiking clubs? Check out the local chapters of the NCTA at northcountrytrail.org.

Or check out the yahoo group greatlakeshikes.

Or suggest a place and we'll all come.

rl”

“No problem I go backpacking everywhere!

This comming weekend I will be in Manistee National Forest doing 22 miles with my club it looks like I have 6 to 10 people going so far I can't wait!!!

8)

Oh and by the way.......

Do you want to go backpacking

”

“I've been in the same boat. Two things helped. First, when I tried to find people to go via the internet, mostly women responded, so solo didn't sound so bad to her afterall.

Second, I go where I don't have to drive so far and can use a cell phone. It seemed the driving worried her more than the backpacking.”

“My wife didn't bat an eye at me going solo to the Badlands. It was going with people from the internet that she thought was weird and scary.”

“I face the same problem with my mother. But she is slowly starting to get less and less nervous about it, because I talk about hiking all the time. I have gone on several day hikes by myself, and I may actually try a solo overnighter soon. But the key with my mom was talking about it with her. Showing her new gear. Showing her new gear and exactly how I would use it. Telling her about my medkit and new additions to it. But honestly I think my last long trip did it for her. Since I got hurt pretty bad, and kept a calm mind to tell my roommate exactly how to solve my problem she seems more ok with it. Talk about it is my advice”

“Thanks for all the advice. I shared some of your responses with my wife, she was entertained. A begining compromise was going to be S. Manitou Island-Ranger Station, Psychos won't pay 20 bucks to take the boat ride, etc.

Thanks for welcoming me to TT. I'm going to change my name though-When I started lurking years ago I lived near Detroit. Now I live in Kalamazoo. Thanks to all for your suggestions. I wear the pants in my family, but if I #@$& off the misses, I never get to take them off ; )

Kalamazoo”

“adventuregirl, are you accident prone? Weren't you the one who cut your chin really bad, then went on a multinighter anyway?”

“lol Detroit!
(or should we call you kzoo?)”

“Birch has a favorite saying: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobaody happy". Not like I get unhappy often. It's a good thing to know where your breads buttered though. =)

BB, if you had a good woman you'd do some things differently to keep her happy, ya schmoe. lol”

“Me accident prone..... No:)”