I Ate a Pound of Jerky!

“Help! Is there an anti-venom?!”

“try ExLax”

“Good job Biz!!!!

8)”

“AVOID OPEN FLAMES!!!”

“Can one overdose on salt?”

“Nice breath!!!!

8)”

“I loooooove beef jerky.”

“You're definitely a carnivore. I'm not sure what the conversion rate is, but once it rehydrates in your stomach, it should feel like you swallowed an entire cow.



MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

“Go drink a gallon of water and watch the jerky rehydrate.”

“LMFAO BaSO4!!!!!!!

8O”

“Well, so much for that little overhydration problem...”

“I'm dyin over hear...tooooooo freakin funny. I did that once with 2 lbs of dried appricots...in 2 hours my stomach hurt sooooooooo bad, I pooped all night....My butt was on fire. and it was quite raw...I hope that doesn;t happen to you.”

“LMFAO!!!!!!!!!

Thats too funny stikmon!!!!!

Fire butt!!!!

Hheheheheheheh!!!!!!

8O”

“Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!”

“There is only one right thing to do ... have a beer!”

“Raisins do the same thing as them apricots, after my trip down the thlewiaza we ate all the left over raisins on the train, i woke up 4 times in the night to use the little toilet in the train car, now that was smelly, and the overnighter through the bwca was a little messy too ;) man that stuff is nasty”

“Did I read right...Biz ate a jerk? Oh, never mind.”

“Gives new meaning to "squeezably soft"”

“I wouldn't squeeze Biz too hard right now, she might explode.

At least then she wouldn't have to keep trying to figure out how to get laid off.

Hay there's an idea. Biz: eat nothing but jerky for a few weeks. They'll lay you off just to clear the air in the place.”

“Moderation is the key to life.”

“so Biz - how did every thing come out eerrrrr I mean how did it turn out errrr well you know what I mean”

“Good grief, Biz. You're going to have some major water retention after that!

I once drove a pickup half-way across the country with my brother and his friend. They brought a grocery bag full of homemade elk jerky. It was almost below 0 outside but we had to drive with the windows open!!”

“Eat a buncha pickled eggs and drink a mess o' beer.

If that doesn't drive out the demon, try drinkin' olive oil and keep a commode close at hand.

Do you live alone?

You will!

You is ONE funny lady!”

“"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of.......jerky?"”

“Extra Virgin?”

“10. Just Chew It
9. Silly rabbit! Jerky's for Biz!
8. Tastes salty! More filling!
7. Jerky! It's magically delicious!
6. Jerky- the other brown meat.
5. It keeps you going and going and going and...
4. Hey look! She likes it! Hey, Biz!
3. I can't believe it's not jerky!
2. Jerky- it's what's for dinner!
and, number 1......
1. Help! I've eaten a pound of jerky and can't get up!”

“Uma....Oprah
Oprah....Uma
Biz...Jerky
Jerky...Biz”

“Say what you will about Biz, but she won't post here again.
Overhydration, and now a pound of jerky?
Jerky my chainy.”

“Maybe she has a laptop in the bathroom!”

“I hate to point out the obvious, but our little Bizzy loves to see how many suckers will post on her " I just drank a gallon of hydrochloric acid" threads.”

“Ah, but we can dream!”

“Yeah, I'm wiping the drool off of my face, too.”

“Does anybody have a Marmot Alpinist Climbing Jacket? What do you think of it?”

“Does it have a pocket for jerky?”

“Remember that Bachman Turner Overdrive song..."Takin' Care Of Bizzness"?”

“What was this jerky's last name?”

“The bluebird in spring
Alights in the frosty pine
Jerky by the pound?

Awaiting the sun
My guts begin to rumble
Overhydration”

“once i dried a ton, i mean a ton of bannanas... and boy were they good....i had eaten about a bag full,, and i paid for that later.. they apparently did not know which way they wanted to go.. up or down..rehydrating the hard way...I will never do that again.. i am now slightly afraid to ever eat one again.. it was pure agony..My husband said that he would jump up and down on my stomach and force them out one way or the other. I however opted to just sleep it off.”

“Wilt thou take this Biz
To be thy lawful wedded
Spouse? You will? Jerky!”

“LIME GREEN JERKY!”

“Hey, you can get by with a pound of lime green jerky if you got that J-Lo butt!”

“Lime green jerky, yum
A duty-free shop staple
Infinite shelf life”

“I love it kleetn- "Natural Style!"”

“Yeah, that brand pretty naturally grew fuzz about two days after I opened it.”

“Is that the "One Pound" single serving bag?”

“I wonder if she took off the wrapper.”

“Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse....

1-888-4MY-MEAT

How Is It Made?
"We don't know ! We don't care ! As far as we know they push a cow into a little hole in the side of the barn, and out the other side on a conveyer belt comes boxes of beef jerky. The only thing we know for sure is that it is USDA inspected and it is not chopped, chipped, flaked, reformed, or regurgitaded in any way."
The Jerky Hut”

“The Jerky Hut???

That sounds like a gay bar.”

“LMAO @ Tom.”