TEEN DESTROYS ALIEN INVASION FLEET

“The TEEN came to our planet, tired of living with his own kind and DESIRING TO UNDERSTAND HUMANITY. He met and came to know and love many humans.

But his ALIEN RACE was invading the earth with their TERRIBLE WEAPONS that can render a body to bones INSTANTLY. Their spaceships landed in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA and quickly disgorged their cargo: GIANT LOBSTERS OF DESTRUCTION.

The TEEN heard of the invasion and went to MEET IT AT ONCE. His own gun's battery pack was depleted, but with the help of A MAN IN A BATHROBE, DRINKING ORANGE JUICE, he was able to DESTROY THE LOBSTERS.

Later, the TEEN destroyed the entire INVASION FLEET by causing them to CRASH LAND. Unfortunately, he too died that day.

All of these TRUTHS have been SUPPRESSED by the evil, monopolistic hegemony of the FREE MARKET. They were once FREELY SHOWN on broadcast television, but now cannot be seen, even on televisions with access to OVER 300 CHANNELS. WHAT are THEY trying to HIDE?”

“Destroy the lobsters?!?! Awww, Man. What the hell am I going to eat on my next trip up to Maine? Stupid teenage punk kids...”

“What's this,,,,,,an imposter???


"MarviM .......

Bring back the real guy. There is only one troll who should be deemed worthy of a tin foil skull cap.”

“HEY! i didn't notice! a torll of a torll...how rude.”

“"This sucks!" LMAO lyra!!”

“A TIN FOIL SKULLCAP will not work against the POWERFUL RADIATION emanting from the alien's vessel. Only GOLD is dense enough to work.

Your CRITICISMS will not stop me from spreading the TRUTH about the coming APOCALYPSE.


Nyah.”

“What have you done to the star fleet commander? Return him at once, or there will be an intergalactic incident.”

“you're planning to use skully as a shield? just wait 'til she hears about THIS!”

“Marvim lacks character. His thoughts are too straight forward and his posts are too fluid.

The real Marvin would just post a bunch of garbage that did not make sense. The imposter isn't even close to the real thing.”

“It is sort of like watching a sloppy Elvis impersonator.”

“did he say skullcap was dense?



LOL”

“I was close to getting over my obsession with Marvin when this imposter rekindles my devotion. Please return, Marvin and reclaim your rightful throne.”

“That toilet is missing a bolt cap! Is that a secret message?”

“No, the secret messasge was embedded in the toilet paper. Obviously, someone has read the message given the empty roll on the floor.”

“Oh my god!!!! He beamed up without me! Or, looking at the throne, did he beam down?”

“Be gone Marvim Garden

End this charade now, disguise not your battered soul

I weep, for I know that none shall ever take up my burden,

We don’t need no stinkin’ troll!”

“Oh, great waterfalls of pee

or realistic, but mystic & holistic

down disco bobarino, an' flipp as dem cats kan bee!

good cockroaches do not go ballistic”

“Marvin Gardens = Big Foot????

Marvin has returned as a poet???

I need a beer.”

“Humuhumu-nukunuku-a-pua`a

Beware the temptations of meat byproducts!

lest you find yourself at the bottom of the lake

dust accumulating on your personal effects”

“Well at least Marvin has resumed the meaningless gibberish.”

“He didn't put the seat down!”

“TEEN DESTROYS ALIEN INVASION FLEET

We must root out the impostor trolling finks

who can ever tell what's under the sheets?

Just a shame he's firing blanks.”

“He didn't put the seat down!

But, what a heck, take a hike...

The awful swelling would go down!

like a fight between Shannon and Mike”

“Pottying in the woods-kids want to know

And they took me away as I screamed "no! no!"

We fell many miles down to a vat of green jello

Located at 1024 S. 10th Street, St. Joseph, Mo.”

“I Ate a Pound of Jerky!

alas, soon the gardener will decide to mow

I wear glasses and I’m porky

I've always dreamt of lingerie on cows”

“Your personal profile in 60 seconds

Though widespread you feel the pearl you bought too

aye me homie, of forty pounds

Why don't you just get out of my shoe?”

“Greetings, through The Council of the Seven Lights, you have been brought here inspired with the inner light to help your fellow man. You are mortals and other mortals can only understand that which their fellow man can understand. My purpose is, in a sense, to save mankind from himself.

With reference to all attempts to trap us, I would suggest that it would be much easier to trap a character off the visor of your television. When your authorities discover how to trap light substance, we would also like to know the formula. We ignore any further discussion of this subject.

The first thought that enters the minds of those in this darkness is not to find out what the other object of our visitation is, but rather to destroy us, to find out what we are made of. We can assure you that all their efforts, made with the objects of destruction, will avail them naught.”

“Don't worry Marvin! I have not abandoned the struggle! I can be at your location in one hour. Do not let the ignorant detractors turn you from your mission!
PS. Hide in Elmwood, if necessary.”

“Marvin, gold is not dense enough to stop alien radiation. No wonder you are mixed up. I suggest you try something more dense, like a hat of depleted uranium. Or plutonium.”

“The chicken is a Rhode Island Red. Plaid is a pattern, not a color. Chunky peanut butter is better, but it can hide lost teeth.”

“Plutonium would be best, probably, because of its density, plus the fact that since it's a beta emitter, a sheet of newsprint lining the inside would protect you from its own radiation.”

“I thought some young snotty kids rammed their jet skis and sea doos into some decrepit rusted out ships to stop the Boat People from getting onto shore.”

“Man, Stanlee, get your inter-gallactic self together! I mean, c'mon man.”

“Marvin/m has been stealing gold foil from the lunar descent module again.”

“Must have been fool's gold.”

“Yeah, I think Marvim's version is more believable.”