How Cheap Are You?

“Jeff Brown's Personal Finance column today awarded the cheapest cheapskates in several categories. Among them:
Least Valuable from a monetary standpoint (tie)
The man who extends the life of his turn signal bulbs by only signaling when there's traffic.

The man who puts shaving cream on half his face and shaves the other half with the soapy water left in the sink.

Most questionable form a health standpoint
The man who keeps his beer cool in the toilet tank.

Best Moocher
The water saver who holds his bathroom stops until he's at work or visiting friends.

Most despicable
The man who goes to stranger's funerals for the free meals.

Most Labor-intensive
The family who plugs the shower drain and uses the water to flush the toilet

And the winner...
The dental flosser who uses 10 inches of floss instead of 18", ties the ends together (so he doesn't waste the ends, and re-uses it for 14 days by washing it in some alcohol and hanging it up to dry. He estimates he saves $5.05 in floss per year.”

“Hey, it worked for my grandparents. Get over it.”

“Your Grandparents used to go to stranger's funerals for the free food?”

“Heck, at funerals they treat strangers almost like one of the family. Try it sometime.”

“I've heard of trolling weddings for trim, but trolling funerals for food is just beyond the pale!”

“Yeah, and I have pictures, too.”

“trolling weddings for trim is a national sport”

“I bicycle to my health club for most of my showers. I can take a steam bath while there, too. It saves on the electric and water bills. And it is more comfortable there, since the club has heating and air conditioning, too.”

“You've got the spirit, Nowslimmer! Don't forget to steal the toilet paper.”

“I know a woman here in Billings who re-uses Kleenex as toilet paper. Fortunately not the other way around!”

“That would make her a snot-a$$ #&%!$.”

“The woman who lived across from my grandmother used to unroll the toilet paper, cut each square in half and stack them up on the toilet tank. She had money too!”

“Saving on toilet paper is a false economy unless you also limit underwear changes to once a week.”

“"I bicycle to my health club for most of my showers. I can take a steam bath while there, too. It saves on the electric and water bills. And it is more comfortable there, since the club has heating and air conditioning, too."
nowslimmer
------------------------
Now only that, this club furnishes the soap and towels, as well as providing hair dryers and plastic bags to carry my wet and dirty items.

FYI, the club is deluxe. Besides the steam baths, there are Jacuzzis and saunas, plenty of exercise equipment, a track, racketball courts, a 25 yd. heated pool, a snack bar, clothing shop, etc. Classes are free including spinning, yoga, and aikijutsu There are losts of instructors and blood pressure and pulse checks are always available. I probably save enough money using the club's facilities to compensate for my $32 per month membership. As long as I time my movements to their open hours, there is no need to steal their toilet paper, Dunadan.”

“"lots of instructors," not "losts of instructors" sorry.”

“I am curious as he!! to learn how one would know some other person's toilet-paper habits or proclivities. Aero? Violin?”

“wanderer -May I submit an answer?

Word of mouth and/or observation, or help. Because of problems my brother used cotton balls for toilet paper for years. In his later years observation of his proclivities came into being as he eventually needed help with everything. He died from MS.”

“MARTHA STEWART'S TIPS FOR CHEAPSKATE GOOBERS

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
3. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners are.

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM, Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
2. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
3. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.”

“kleetn - a good one! LOL.”

“That is just wack!!!!!

$5.05 for a year for floss boy o boy what is the world comming too?

8|”

“I shower with female friends to save water”

“Now that is a good idea!!!!

8)”

“I use both sides of toilet paper!”

“How much ya' got?

Seriously though, not very cheap. I look for value more than rock bottom price.”

“I buy the cheap value packs now but one time back in college I did snag one of those huge rolls TP from the library for my apt.. That roll seemed to last forever. The chicks hated it but it was good to know that when the good stuff was gone you always had the roll as back up.”

“Too cheap to respond to this thread”

“wanderer -

My grandmother was friends with her neighbor, visited her house often and while there observed her toilet paper frugality. She had other odd ways of saving money, but that was the most extreme. My grandmother broke off the friendship after the woman accused her of stealing a piece of jewelry from her home.”

“Weird people usually tell their peculiarities to anyone who would listen”

“Cheap! I'm so tight that when I blink my eyelids, my toenails curl up.”

“I reuse my condoms.”

“Ewwwwwww.”

“I am so frugal, that is spelled c-h-e-a-p, that I never buy anything unless it is on sale or reduced price, barring some groceries, milk is never on sale.

All my toys are bought off season clearance. It's really amazing how cheaply you can outfit your self for skiing or snow shoes, or tennis, or biking, or whatever. Generally I find a 70% off sale, sometimes 80% and 90% off, but always at least 50% off. If I am really hot for an item, they can entice me with 25% off, but I never go for 10% or 15% off.

Some of my best steals were K-2 skiis for 80% off, my ski jacket for 70% off, my backpack for 50% 0ff an already reduced price of $120 off.I think I paid $50 for it, a North Face.

Chirp, chirp.”

“If I were cheap...I wouldn't be running short on ca$h all the time!”