Are you a responsible backpacker?

“Is you tent a neutral color like gray? Yes... give yourself 3 points.
A bright color tent...subtract 4 points.

Do you use trekking poles?
Yes...subtract 3 points.
No... add 2 points.

Do you blue bag and pack out your poop? Yes... add three points.

Do you make campfires?
Yes... subtract 2 points.

Do you pack a radio?
No... add 3 points.
Yes... subtract 3 points.

Do you burn your trash?
Yes... subtract three points.

Do you pack a gun?
Yes...subtract 10 points.
No... add ten points.

Do you wear non-biodegradable synthetic fleece bought from REI?
Yes... subtract 2 points.

Total your score.

If you score is less than zero, you are a moron. Die, irresponsible moron.

If you score less than 18, you need improvement.

If you score 18 or more, you are a responsible backpacker (like thebackpacker).”

“Is that survey meaningless and silly.. add 100 points if yes.”

“Guess we can assume Artex failed.”

“Hardly. I think whether someone wants to use trekking poles is a matter of personal choice. Some people have bad backs and it helps them. To "penalize" someone for that is stupid.

There are some worthwhile questions on there though, such as trash burning and such. But otherwise, it's pretty self-righteous.”

“Pretty childish and immature, isn't it?”

“I discard my trash along the trail. It helps others to be able to brag about all the many pounds of trash they gathered and carried out. (TIC)”

“I poop on the trail and leave candy wrappers on top of it. Then I hide behind a nearby tree and wait for dogooder to come along and pick it up. When they get pooh on their fingers and get upset I spring from behind my tree and wave my loaded pistol in their face, force them at gunpoint to make a bonfire and burn their trekking poles. Then I make them dig a hole less than 200 feet from water and bury their non-biodegradable fleece clothing. They usually run away in their wicking underware at that point.”

“LOL @ Sassafras!!!!”

“how many points do I get for converting my trekking poles into a pair of single shot .410 shotguns?”

“Do you stay at home? Add 1000 points”

“Therefore, I'm not keeping score. Why does everything have to be a f**ing competition?”

“What the heck does tent color have to do with responsibility? I understand the leave no trace concept,but I think it's getting out of hand,, even your footsteps and breathing the air, or taking water from sources could be considered as altering the ecosystem. Any action we take has it's effect on the environment, so if we want to be as "responsible" as some seem to like, the only way is to stay away from the wild places, and hide somewhere until we die. I think some folks like TB really need to get a life!”

“I'm with the yankee, my tent is a incinspicuse yellow, frankly I like a bright tent. I know I will never lose track of my campsite if my tent is giving off a glow. LOL Better yet, what if I am cought in a snow storm in my 3 season bright yellow tent, and for some crazy reason I need to be resqued, would I rather stay in my bright tent or get out of my tent and wave my armes to catch attention? Duh'' Uhmmm what's easyer?”

“In my experience, being totally camoflauged in the wilderness is not really a good idea. what if you get lost? How are the choppers supposed to find you? Is the excess fuel spent finding you good for the environment? What about the noise pollution? Then you are definetly going to have to build a bonfire, and a darn good one for them to find you.”

“BTW, what is wrong with packin heat? There are alot of messed up people in this world, and when I'm in the middle of the woods by my self with no five-oh'(police), I like the idea that if some funky ish (shít) goes down I'm not the one that is hittin the grownd.”

“My last post was a hypothetical, I'm 16, so I can't own a gun yet, and I probaly wouldn't bring one with me if I could (too much weight). I allso allways go hiking with a group of 8 or more. With that many heads, I don't think you would bother me. But you have no right to tell a solo woman hiker that she can't carry a small pistol when hiking solo in forigne territories.”

“Wow! Some folks can sure get serious over a string that was obviously intended to be humorous. Relax folks, it's Saturday night. Lean back and laught a little.

I'm with you, Sassafras. Ha, ha. Ho, ho, ho. He, he.”

“Yes and watch out for people in forigne territory. Wasn't that a race of people on Tar strek.

I pee in municipal water supplies like Hetch Hetchy. I even send off floating messages to San Francisco. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Drink up baby! They don't even filter it! MOOOOOOOOOOHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA”

“102 points! I'm kickin' ass!”

“Dayumfire Tea, talk about the English language gittin' a massacre! "Resqued, grownd" ... Like nowslimmer said tho, it keeps me laughin'!!!”

“Sass just wants to see people run in their underwear, that's all.

BTW, I scored a -14...I would've went lower if the quiz was longer. heh heh”

“Gordon, that's an interesting idea. Can you really do that? How would you load, cock, lock, and fire it?”

“I saw it in one of those "Prison" films...where they used a shotgun shell (smuggled in) with a lead pipe....they used a dull nail as a firing pin.”

“I'd want something a little more sophisticated than that. Besides, a lead pipe wouldn't make a good trekking pole.

Shotgun trekking pole: how would you aim it? Would it have a shoulder stock? Would it be legal? What material would it be made of? Steel? Too heavy.”

“Google search for "shotgun trekking pole" turned up zilch.”

“Pipe guns were common, when I grew up on the south side of Chicago in the '40s. Nowdays, they make pipe bombs”

“What I want is a durable, lightweight, reliable shotgun trekking pole designed and made with the highest tech stuff and design.”

“I can see TheBackwiper as being self righteous enough to come up with sort of thing.

"If you carry a spankerchief and pack out your own seed like TheBackwiper does.....add 20." LOL!

Hey Mutt. Good to see your happy shinning face again!”

“I thought I was doing good and all I got was a range of 2-7 points depending on what I bring regarding the circumstances of the trip.

Ms.Sass...you're so bad!!! lol”

“Speaking of pipe guns, I've heard in the past that a glue BB to the primer works just fine against a striker plate. A problem with a nail is that it may penetrate further in to the primer cap then neccessary. Al. poles I don't believe could withstand the pressure developed especially if it is a seamed shaft. You're better off investing in a Ti. alloy revolver, heck it might even be one of the lightest things in your bag.”

“Briar: Why have two items when one will do the trick?

A titanium shotgun trekking pole sounds like a good idea. how about a titanium rifle trekking pole? 30-06? Feasible?”

“Do you green bag your farts and pack them out or do you just release them into the atmosphere?”

“LOL @ Wind Walker!!!”

“Either a titanium or a ceramic lined carbon fiber pole would work.”

“Wind walker, I blow my farts into my bomb fire, that was ignighted by my toiletpaper with shít on in.”

“What the hell is a "bomb fire"?”

“a huge äss fire”

“Ya gotta stop lightin' them farts, kid.









I think the word you are lookin' for is "bonfire".”

“I thought that was the right word, but I felt that if I spelt it "bon" some one would have interpited it as bad spelling for the word bong, from me. That is why I chose the word bomb.”

“Is that how you got the name 'Wind Walker'? *GRIN*


Zip guns and bang sticks?
These things already exist, or did. I knew a guy who described one version with a .22. Get the appropriate sized section of an old fashioned car antenna, wrap with wire, dip in molten lead, repeat a few times. I think the firing pin was the aforementioned nail/rubberband combo. IF YOU BLOW YOUR FINGERS OFF, DON'T COME #&%!$IN' TO ME, LOL.

The shotgun version is called a 'bang stick' and used to be popular with folks diving around sharks. It was basically a pole with a shotgun shell in the business end --- extreme scattergun effect, but would fire only on direct contact with the target.

Here's one that uses a .38 or .357. Knock yourself out, <G>.”

“"Bongfire'... hmmmm...”

“'Bongfire'?... hmmmm...”

“Third time's the charm... nah!”

“You know it stanlee! ;)”

“Methane=Bombfire

Son... you could singe the hair off your arse doin' dat :p”

“And these people go out on group hikes!”

“Don't forget your Kevlar and Nomex....”

“ya! Ballistic Kevlar is great for making vests (not)”

“My hockey skates have kevlar in them.”

“Are they heavy? Kevlar (aramid) is a pretty dense fiber. Carbon is the lightest fiber, but has almost zero ballistic properties. Fiberglass is a happy medium. Also, it depends on the matrix (resin) the fiber is encased in.

Don't ask me how I know. I could tell you but I'd have to kill you.

Ü”