GIANT SPIDER ATTACK!

“

Hehehe, you thought it was a Marvin Gardens thread, didn't you?”

“You had me fooled! :-)”

“Oh look, Giant Spiders from Outer Space! I think I saw that one on Sci Fi Theater when I was a kid ; ) .”

“Be careful there kleety face. If Stephen King is lurking he might get the (bad) idea to write a sequel to "It". God forbid.”

“I knew Leo G. Carrol
Was over a barrel
When Tarantula took to the hills.

And I really got hot
When I saw Jeanette Scott
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.

Dana Andrews said Prunes
Gave him the runes
And passing them used lots of skills.

But When Worlds Collide,
Said George Pal to his bride,
"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills..."

Like a...”

“I ain't ever goin to Mt Hood!!!!!!”

“I was so sure this would be a marvin gardens thread”

“A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.
Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink.

And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene.

A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.

“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.

“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.

“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”

Loner Voegel, 30, never invited people back to his “jungle” home, a small apartment in the German city of Dortmund.

Police described it as a cross between a botanical garden and the butterfly breeding ground in the serial killer movie The Silence Of The Lambs.

One tarantula had built a nest the size of a swallow’s in a corner of the ceiling.

Voegel also had a boa constrictor and several poisonous frogs from South America.

Spider expert and animal cruelty officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures “that should never be allowed in a private home”.

She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.”

The reptiles were allowed to roam free in the flat.

The heating elements on two tanks containing spiders and their termite snacks had exploded and dislodged the metal tops allowing them to escape.

Voegel is thought to have been dead for between seven and 14 days.

A post-mortem will be carried out in the next few days. But authorities believe Bettina alone was responsible for Voegel’s death.

www.thesun.co.uk”

“ooh!

Wow!”

“Nothing like voluntarily moving on down the food chain.”

“Is there no end to the things that will eat people in Germany?”

“Cop turns to the landlord and says, "What' eatin' him??"”

“Guess he shouldn't have listeded to the guy at the pet store that said, "Chicks dig spiders!"”

“Little Herr Vogel
Sat on his sofa ...”

“...watching his porn all day.

Along came a spider, who bit him on the ass,
And let all his other animals eat him.”

“omg.....ewwww.......are you sure this isn't an urban legend????”

“Don't force me to post autopsy photos!”

“go ahead.....
I won't look!!!”

“funniest stuff I've seen all day.”

“oh dear god”

“Woo, talk about the heebie jeebies.”

“there is a similiar story, which i am 99 percent sure is an urban legend. it concerns thousands of baby spiders and a cactus plant”

“I could easily be wrong here, but I'm pretty sure that the sun is the brits version of the National Enquirer. Where's ynami when ya need him.”

“My worst nightmare!!! I get the willies around spiders. Ahhhahhhahhha!

Course my hairdresser told me the story of the guy who had dreadlocks who went to the doctor because his scalp itched so much it was driving him crazy. The Doc shaved his head to find a spider had nested in his hair, laid eggs which had hatched and the little spiders were feasting on his flesh.
I have the shivers just typing it. UGH!”

“I can deal with spiders.

I'm not really crazy about being in the woods with big cats... panther, leopard, puma, etc.... especially when they're hungry.”

“I used to be employed by a guy who owned a lion cub. He was the coolest thing! (the cat). Even as a cub you had to be carefull how you played w/ him cuz he'd want to grab you by the back of the neck w/ his teeth. they'd had him declawed so he couldn't snag ya. But he was still cool.”

“I think I heard on the Discovery Channel that there are now more lions and tigers in captivity than there are in the wild.

That really surprised me.”

“hmmm, that's surprising!”

“Supposedly there's been an expolosion in the population of big cats as pets in the last 20 years or so. Like you said -- really cute when they're small, but quite a handful when they get bigger.... <yikes>”

“no doubt. Tell that to Roy!”

“uh... Yeah! LOL


Pardon me, Roy.
Is that the cat-that-chewed-your-new-shoes?”

“LOL this is a sick thread, i love it!

I want to see the pics!”

“NO PICS!! i think i'm going to be violently ill.”

“"I think I heard on the Discovery Channel that there are now more lions and tigers in captivity than there are in the wild.

That really surprised me."
Tilt

that doesnt surprise me at all

"I could easily be wrong here, but I'm pretty sure that the sun is the brits version of the National Enquirer

i think roams right. smacks of urban legend”

“That reminds me of a story.

Somewhere in the east the Coast Guard dredged up a body that was covered with shrimp feeding on the carcass.”

“Pass the tartar sauce!”

“ewwwwww. no tartar sauce for the shrimpies. just a little lemon, please”

“extremely descriptive story! this part is like my worst nightmare: "Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth."”

“Yum!”

“you know you like it”

“I'm gettin' a picture of those cops arriving at the scene.

As in the Saturday Night Live skit the cops are blowin' lunch as they take turns viewing the body.

The city of Dortmund is experiencing a puke-wave sweeping the city like wildfire.”