Dating sucks

“dog hair can be vacuumed....broken hearts are not as easily forgotten. (or so i've heard)”

“no...you don't understand....i'm talkin dalmation hair....on EVERYTHING i own! white hairs on everything dark.....black hairs on everything light....


there's even one on the speedometer, under the glass....how in the #*$&^%^$ did it get under there? i'm tellin ya, it's a real problem....”

“but strat....you can boast/lie that you are a fireman!! you'll have (fake) proof that you own the mascot!”

“Vacuuming your heartache away...

That does kindof sound like a Country song waiting to happen, LOL



As to that Previous Comment... in the immortal words of Lewis Grizzard: "Boy, that dog would Bite You...."

<GUFFAW>”

“I didnt know you knew my daughter strat. She has two dalmations and her car looks exactly like that :D”

“hey tilt.....if it becomes a country song. can i have the rights to it??

dogs only bite if they sense fear...”

“I don't think it can quite compete with THESE classic numbers...


Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck

Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can
See Through You

They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out

When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA

Those are excellent !!”

“I think they missed one. Wasn't there a song titled "You Stole My Wife, You Horse Thief"?”

“Yup, let me say it again! Tilt=Marvin Gardens (yet another lengthy list like those Marvin likes to post) hehehee”

“So, if Tilt = Marvin Gardens

and Marvin Gardens = Violin,

then
Violin = Tilt.

And could there be more?”

“Nah... It's just me and Matt and all you Violin trolls.”

“And now we know!




















Or do we?”

“LOL @ Yam. you got it right....don't bring her home to your house!!”

“you just gotta find the right date....
one that runs with you....
one that bikes with you....
one that loves to backpack (with you)....

i found her!!

you caaaaan't have her!!!!”

“LOL gonzo, not everyone can have that kind of luck.”

“i never have until now....”

“yes, you're very lucky gonzo

My favorite:

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

I knew a old guy who had a lobotomy when I lived in NY. He used to hang around the neighborhood bar sweeping the floor for shots with two sunken holes in his head. We called him Flicker. I heard that he was violent until they did the lobotomy. There must have been a better way to cure him.”

“Dating... might not be so bad.

Another day, another date, I actually had a good time, which is scary, i had a good date, though i don't forsee anything coming from this relationship - she's not my type of girl, she's cool, the type of girl i can hang out with and just have fun, that's what dating's for right, just having a good time. I still have plenty of time to find that special someone, 'til then i'll keep on keepin on.”

“Simer - It's a losing battle. Save your time, money and sanity, and put it into something constructive.”

“yeah like a good magazine”

“I don't worry about my time too much, as long as i'm having fun. As for money, she payed, lol it was worth it.”

“Trust me, She always pays.

I don't know why all women are not lesbians.

I am just thankful they aren't.”

“Dude, high school is over! Stop thinking like you're still there!”

“Who are going to the prom with, treebait?”

“I skipped the prom. Too much money for what promised and turned out to be boring.”

“no #&%!$, prom ain't worth it...”

“yeah... ok, i'm tired of dating already, lol. Second date - had a good time, i don't even like the girl that much... whatever.”

“stalking does have its advantages.... women at least pay attention to you :}”

“I havent been stalked in like two years..i do miss it alot. :/ but i got memories.....”

“who is Taboo??

Go away for a week and see what happens..”

“Hi im sorry Im new here. never actually introduced myself...just hanging around. I been reading up on the appalachian...bla bla bla...and i found this site by accident bla bla bla...and poof here i am :) This place is like a nut magnet....hehehe”

“This site is the low spot in the internet where all the loose nuts rolled.”

“that explains my inability to achieve a decent score in pinball games too :/”

“Date number 3 already? damnit y can't i say no...

here's how it went, i was bored out of my mind, i tried to annoy the crap out of her and drive her away, she wouldn't leave then i kicked her out of the house... ok so it wasn't that bad, but somethin similar... lol, and i did kick her out of the house, kinda... politely asked her to leave, good bye... ahh whatever”

“My my, Simer, aren't you a grumpy boy. Wouldn't even give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“hmm... i dunno.

I mean last night should have been a perfect date... u the kind that someone would describe as amazing...

So, we walked around the lake as the sun went down, then we went and sat on the patio in the garden in back as we watched the stars appear, then we came inside and looked for a movie to watch, she didn't like any of my movies - we started watching the matrix but she didn't like it all, so i brought a blanket out back and we went out to the big open area to watch the stars 'til she had to leave.

Benefit of the doubt? She whined the whole time, complained about bugs, and bein cold though i gave her a sweatshirt and wrapped the blanket around us... i didn't want to spend another day with her, but i couldn't say no... ok, i'll quit complaining, lol - i guess we just didn't click, it's alright.”

“Hooboy, nothing like a whiner. She testing to see how far you'd go to please her I guess. She probably wasn't even aware of it.”

“Ready to try this game again?

How's this for a date - we're going to the waterpark for my brother's b-day. (happy b-day to my bro). Seriously though, i like this girl, we'll see what happens.”

“Hope the water isn't cold.”

“At least you aren't like UpUrs and dating guys. He's a guy....”

“Careful on that slide that is basically a vertical drop. It tears up you back and gives you the biggest weggie!”

“Keep your legs crossed.”

“Plus you do not want to mess up Big Jim and the Twins! Take her for a trip down the lazy river.”

“Big Jim and the Twins?


does eveyone name IT?

how about "Tiny Tim"?”

“That would depend maple. Sure, Tiny Tim would work. Unless you are proud to have a small unit, I wouldn't say it.

How about the twig and berries?”

“I just call mine "One Inch".

I so sad.”

“Are you taking the pills I sent you Wang? They should help.”

“You send wrong pill!

Tongue get even longer!

Why women like me when I eat ice cream?”

“OH MY!”