Dating sucks

“Frank and beans! Frank and beans!”

“LOL
I think Pack is taking a liking to you wang!”

“Me no like men that way. Me like women.


But women no like me.




I very sad.”

“I hear the pack is like a woman anyway so maybe you should talk to him.”

“I have some advice for water parks and dating, don't let her see your eyes wander or the water won't be the only thing that's cold.

From experience, the water park can be a very positive thing for a relationship. Think about it, you're both wearing next to nothing, you'll have playful contact with eachother when on the various rafts, tubes, etc., and you have other girls checking you out, which will make her appreciate you even more.”

“Make sure you wear a speedo.”

“I had a set up last weekend - we went canoeing. I was a bit nervous meeting someone and letting them into a tippy watercraft with me, but he ended up being a very skilled canoe-er. It was lots of fun!”

“Did he stroke it well?”

“....stay away from the speedos....i repeat...stay away from the speedos....banana hammocks are not appropriate on dates unless you are Italian...on an Italian beach...with an Italian date....or trying to get rid of your date”

“Hey, you talkin to me?”

“we need a few more details than that Smiley :o) At least if you're seeing him again?”

“LMAO @ One Inch Wang!!!”

“ynami, if he asked me out again, i would go.

:)”

“oohhhhh!! did you guys kiss, smiley?? :-D”

“Send me his e-mail address, I'll harrass him to call. I'm sure that won't scare him off or anything ;o)”

“nope, no kissing. we were with the couple that set us up, so nothing really went on like that.

lol @ ynami! sorry, i don't have his e-mail address. and if i did, i certainly wouldn't pass it on to you!!”

“ya meanie ;op”

“Well, that didn't go so bad... I'm not used to being with such a shy girl, but we had a good time anyway. Hung out at the waterpark for a while, then went out for supper with the rest of my fam, this entire time my bro's friends are all screaming and being annoying as hell!! But then we went off on our own to see a movie. Usually i wouldn't consider a movie for a first date, but i figured we wouldn't have to make conversation - that can wait 'til she's more comfortable, if there's another date, don't ask me, but i wouldn't mind, lol.”

“Not very forward, are you Simer?”

“you didn't make your move then simer?”

“What movie did you see?”

“forward... more so than some people, i'm getting better - just haven't played the dating game for quite a while since this summer.”

“movie? that one... hmm...

what was it called... how to deal, that's it.”

“Don't remember the movie huh? I know how those dates go. Did you buy her popcorn and sno caps?”

“simer,simer,simer.....

first off - never approach a girl from the front (it blocks thier mental escape route). step up from behind but if the girls is very shy do not make body contact. from here you can do several things and score all kinds of big points with her :}

a shoulder rub while overlooking something romantic works wonders for the very shy

a gentle kiss on the ear followed by the slightly cheesy "sorry,I couldnt resist" (if she smiles or give any sign of positive reaction continue on.

sliding your arms around her waist and holding hands is also a tried and true method...

above all else pay attention to the girls expression, if its tense back off and if its relaxed go forward. hold her hand when ever presented the chance and be sure to smile a lot.

and remember, i didnt get to be a dirtyoldman without a lot of experiance at it :}”

“LMAO!!!”

“If it makes you feel any better, look how long I waited....didn't find my true love til I was 46. :)I'm actually glad I waited this long anything else probably wouldn't have worked anyway.”

“ahh, thanx for the advice dom - you're a day late :P, lol.

And for now, i sure ain't lookin for my true love, if somethin were to happen i wouldn't mind, but i'm just lookin to have fun, i'm still young, besides i'm off to college in the fall, and i've been told there's chicks in college - heh, that's the only reason i'm going :D”

“lesson #1.

Don't hang on her door when u say goodbye... whatever that means.”

“lesson #2

Don't fall unless there's someone to catch you at the bottom.”

“Dirty, you crack me up!

Simer, my advice, if you want to kiss her . . . just ask. Seriously. I like the straight forward types.”

“newgirl - Did you see the movie "Tootsie"? Your comment reminds me of something Jessica Lange said in the movie. I won't say what happened.”

“Maybe the secret to successful dating is going into it free of expectations.”

“"If it makes you feel any better, look how long I waited....didn't find my true love til I was 46. :)I'm actually glad I waited this long anything else probably wouldn't have worked anyway."
Skeetah bait
03:41:47 PM
07/26/03

There was a whole lotta self love going on in 46 years...”

“TPM????what's that supposed to mean...a "whole lotta self love"?

Let's just say when I dated in my early 20's, there wasn't anyone worth it. Then in my mid 20's when I had a baby until she grew up, I had other priorites, like raising a baby on my own(loser father), putting myself through school, and working, that didn't leave a whole lot of time for anything else. So whatever you're trying to incinuate, is probably totally wrong, so whatever you think, knock yourself out.”

“Skeetah, I don't think PackMan was trying to be offensive. I think he was just being perverted. I think he was referring to the kind of "self love" a woman has for herself when she gets herself a friend B.O.B. :o)”

“I thought what Sunshine thought. Just a perverted joke by PackMan.”

“Hey Sunshine! How's it going? How's BOB been treatin' ya? :)”

“Well, thanks Sunshine and Lizs...guess I was just in one of my defense moods.....”

“I wouldn't know, it's been a year and a half since I had a date :-(”

“I hesitated to post anything here since I have been out of the dating scene for over 30 years. However, I went thru hell when I first started dating. Being a nerd in high school, I didn't date then. Then in college I started dating. I found I was struggling to get dates, spending a lot of money, and getting nowhere. Finally I got some advice from some friends.

They told me to quit spending a lot of money on dates. Instead, treat all dates as "practice dates" and just do things to get acquainted: picnics, hikes, bike riding, etc. No expensive restaurants or concerts until later. Anyway, after that things went better. I think I was trying too hard and needed to chill out a little. The "practice date" concept took the pressure off.”

“Hiya Rockman! Long time no see. BOB's been good to me but I sure do miss rockcandy, I mean pantscandy, I man YOU! ;o)”

“But newgirl, if I did just ask most women would say "get away from me ya pervert!"

:D


Ditto on what Phil said, women just arent impressed by expensive dates or uptight men”

“Spiders go from wed to dead
Males self-destruct to keep their mates faithful.
25 June 2003
JOHN WHITFIELD


A dead male cannot be moved for at least 15 minutes.
© Corbis



The male orb-weaving spider self-destructs during mating. By dying while still joined to a female, his corpse forms a kind of chastity belt, say ecologists.

Male spiders have two sex organs, called palps, which they insert into the female one after another. When the spider Argiope aurantia uses his second palp he suffers an irreversible seizure, say Matthias Foellmer and Daphne Fairbairn of the University of California, Riverside.

"Immediately after, he becomes motionless," says Foellmer. "Males show the typical dead posture, with legs folded under the body. Their hearts stop within 15 minutes."

The dead male's inflated palp remains wedged inside the female.. This prevents her from mating again, and gives his sperm crucial minutes to fertilize her eggs. "The female cannot pull the male out for at least 15-25 minutes," says Foellmer. "Other males try hard to pull the dead male out, but often fail."

Like many spiders, the female eventually eats her deceased ex, but she is a bystander to his demise.

Males probably put their whole selves into mating because finding a female is so onerous. Such extreme investment is common in spiders - others are so exhausted by sex that they stagger away and die, still more encourage the female to eat them, as it allows them to mate for longer.

But Argiope is, so far, the only animal found to be programmed to die during mating, says Foellmer.


References
Foellmer, M. W. & Fairbairn, D. J. Spontaneous male death during copulation in an orb-weaving spider. Proceedings of the Royal Society B, doi:10.1098/rsbl.2003.0042, (2003). |Article|


© Nature News Service / Macmillan Magazines Ltd 2003”

“Poor bastard.”

“So, this is like when a really fat guy has a heart attack right after having sex, and the woman can't get him off of her for a while to call the paramedics?”

“WOW, sounds like he really got screwed!”

“Do they die with a spider smile on their ugly mugs?”

“The funniest part is where it explains how the male spiders "stagger away and die" or "encourage the female to eat them, as it allows them to mate for longer" Males will do just about anything for a piece of a$$, huh? LOL!

sta”

“Is that the story of your life Twinks? Dead bodies all around the place?”