Dating sucks

“put your junk in a box...”

“I just don't understand what the hell is wrong with some people.”

“why mountainrocker?”

“I think he's on to something.”

“i don't care, it's still gonna be better than this and i'll know when i get out in four years.”

“Well I decided to give it another shot. It's been a long time. Even longer since I've been on an actual proper "date". Highschool actually. God that's been 10 years ago! We'll see... at least she's unbelievably hot, and super nice. Rare combination huh?”

“Do Tell!”

“not much to tell realy. She works at the same facility as me but in a different dept. We started talking b/c she walked in front of a flag I put out for safety reasons while I'm getting a pallet out of the high shelving with a fork truck. Could'a killed her... LOL! Well, I have her number, but she couldn't go out tonight, but said she would some other time. That's abotu it.”

“how could she miss a fork lift, big obnoxiously loud things, LOL! i'm glad you missed her, especially if you get a date out of it.
;)

well maybe next weekend then, there, you have something to look forward to.”

“Don't follow her into traffic.”

“LMAO! Thanks Rosey!”

“that's a thought, LOL!”

“I must smell like a dirty vagina, because all I seem to attract are douches.”

“Sacre bleu !!”

“Dating definitely has its ups and downs. I know what you mean though lumberzac”

“Some ins and outs too, one should think.”

“LMAO
that's one way to put it zac...”

“That's one way to put it, but   < SHEESH >”

“Had a great lunch date the other day....course I guess it is all in who you meet.”

“I had ended a relationship back in august. Been on one date since then back in november. Although, this area isn't exactlty crawling with decent women either.”

“Maybe decent women don't crawl:)”

“But apparently this one does backpack...she is talking about a trip in the near future...WHOO HOO”

“Good point nimble. :P”

“^^ eyes rolling”

“Man, A few weeks ago I asked a gal from work out. Now I hadn't been on a date in about a year and a half, so I thought I'd really do it up and enjoy myself. She seemed like a smart person, and actually listened to me when we talked. So I thought I'd really do things right, and I took her to a very nice restaurant, Morton's Steakhouse. Well, the waiter came out and did his thing, as the live lobster tried to crawl off his cart, and we grinned, then we talked about the menu, and she said she'd never had lobster, but was afraid to order it in such a place for fear that she wouldn't like it, so she settled on a sirloin. I ordered a filet, and wine for both of us, then the tomato salads came, and she unrolled her silver ware, and asked me why she had two forks! ARE YOU SHlTTING ME?! I politely, and unceremoniously said that one was for her salad, and the other for the entree. I knew that the evening was wasted, and a $200+ meal to boot. Well, I enjoyed my dinner, and was home by 9:00. Then she took a week to return a single text msg from me. I don't know why I bother.”

“However, I seem to have no trouble accracting the same caliber women as LZ...”

“That is a sad forking story.....”

“Although..... I did have a date once where the girl was looking over the menu and asked, "What is 'veal'? Is it some kind of bird?"

I didn't have the heart to tell her. I can't remember how I got out of that ----”

“that is a hilarious forking story... meangreen you just made my day a whole lot better to bad you didn't post it earlier though seeing as how my day is basically over”

“For the first time in a long while dating doesn't suck.....oops guess I should have found a different thread for that one. Sorry guys. Guess I will report back to this thread when it returns to normal.”

“I am starting to see why dating sucks for some of you”

“LOL...I took a girl to a dinner party in college. I picked her because she appeared to be cultured and always seemed to know the right thing to do at parties.

Well here we are in a beautiful dinner. She is looking kinda like a cat in a room full of dobermans. So I asked what the problem was. She had the problem with remembering what fork etc to use. I explained that my practice is start on the outside and work your way in (LOL)>

Well that seemed to relax her (along with the two martinis she had). So the appetizer comes...and this cloud of blueish green envelops the table. She nervously whispers that when she get nervous she gets intestinal problems.

So I sniffed and coughed and then turned to survey the tables. There was a rather large chap behind us so I made the comment about "he mustve had extra of the Chef Surprise at thye messhall". Our table laughs and then goes on with the evening.

The salad comes and goes without a hint of fragrance. Then dinner, a beautiful filet and grilled shrimp (on skewer). Just as I go to bite into my steak we get hit again. This time I swear the flowers on the table wilted. She excuses herself to go the bathroom. Apparently the cat was out of the bag (or skunk in this case) and even one of her friends refused to do the "two to the potty" routine.

She comes back ten minutes later and apologizes and explains quietly to me she needs to leave RIGHT NOW. Apparenlty she sharted herself the second burst. And she was wearing a white dress. So I casually explain my date is feeling ill. We walk (me directly behind her) to the exit. I place a towel on the seat of my car. And off we go.

Well about 5 minutes from her apartment she lets go with one that has me hanging "Ace Ventura" style out of the window of my car. We get to her apartment, she wraps the towel around her midsection (I never got it back...and then really never wanted it back) and leaves.

I never got another date with her, but I did introduce her to a guy I really didn't like. Sadly I did not get invited to the wedding though I heard it was a moment to behold. (LOL)”

“why blame the woman?
maybe it's you the guys...

ever think about that???”

“XL either made that up, or she wasn't really a girl. Everyone knows girls don't fart.”

“silly creek. she did not fart..she popped!”

“WTF? DORK and I are in agreement”

“Girls don't fart...they poof and shoot bunnies and flowers out their pooters.”

“pooters?

"laugh my freaking pooter off"”

“They may not FART...but its getting out somehow.

Sorry but I have been around too many who could curl the nylon on my tent.”

“XL....LOL. I had a Ace Ventura moment. I had a blind date (no she wasn't blind...for a you smarta**es out there). The date was a disaster and she was dropped off so she asked for a ride home. She had the worst perfume on imaginable and entirely too much of it. Before she got out she decided she wanted some sugar and leaned all into me. I laughed going home because I pictured doing what Ace did when he burned his clothes and cried in the shower. I got home and striped down at the door and put my clothes in the washer and went straight for the shower. UGH!!!”

“I didn't cry in the shower though. I also turned my head, so there was no mouth contact on my part so I didn't have to plunge my face.”

“Ever had the "obligation date" where you do the scene from Kingpin?

OH God...I was stuck on a 'double date" with a girl. My friend had a date with this really hot chick and needed a wingman.

I swear she used "fox urine" for perfume. THe worst part wasn't the whole date but reliving the moment when I got back to the barracks.”

“I hope you learned your lesson XL.. NEVER take a woman to an expensive restaurant on the first date.. She will then come to expect that kind of treatment...

Instead take her to Burger King.. If she really likes you, she won't mind the surroundings, and that way she will be even more impressed when you taked her to Friday's on the Second date!!!!!!

'32oz
last edited: 3/05/09 7:32:00 AM”

“Burger King...hell no make her cook you dinner at her house (figure its payment for you agreeing to show up). (LOL) Then after dinner make her wax your car.

Darn right, if she wants that 10 seconds of bliss she gonna have to WORK for it...(LOL)

Ducking and running for cover. ”

“Definitely agree 32oz.

I can't say too much. I grew up in the sticks and had never ate at a resturant until I met my ex when I was 20. Oh....she was embarrased on several occasions.”

“so glad I am married and no longer dating.
cause if you all took me to BK..I'd kick your butts!!”

“Geez DORK......we would let you order what you want. Even one of those yummy dessert pies.”

“Hey BK has their fish sandwiches two for $4. Best fast food fish there is. That ain't nuttin' to sneeze at sister!”

“LMPO”

“McDonalds? Then if you were good we would let you play in the kiddie land.”