Dating sucks

“sheeeeeet!

My GF/XGF has lied to me since day one!!!

explains why I so confused....lol”

“PS

and she sez I have "insecurity issues" LOL”

“Truth be told, I don't have insecurity issues within myself, nor am I a ego maniac. I just have insecurity issues with her due to I can't trust her. Does that make sense?”

“Aw, snaf, tell her to piss off and get on with your life already. She's not worth any more of your time.”

“yep, I should ask for help.

I have asked for help in the past (not from this guy, but from others) and they have bagged out on me. Consequently, they have been crossed off the "list". So I am a little "gun-shy" about asking for help. My ex wasn't very helpful either, which predisposes me to attempt to do most everything on my own anyway.”

“and don't forget that people "pretend" as well...that is - they pretend to share your interests until they think they've got you, then they let their true self out.”

“Scopolamine is good for finding those things out.”

“ROTFLMAO @ BIT!!!”

“Listening to what they have to say in their sleep works too....LOL”

“i'm afraid to ask what that is, bitpusher!”

“Twig - you've got it. They actually like you because of it so they are interested. I don't think it's pretend. However, it's not a test when I say "hey I'm going....this weekend. Want to come along?" That's just an invite. What cracks me up is the guys who then get huffy about you not spending enough time with them???? When they knew the deal in the first place.”

“"Truth Serum" lyra...it's also used for motion sickness, plus it will dilate your pupils so opthamologists use it as well.”

“mtnmom2, I get what you're saying...when my son's dad and I split up, he and a friend helped me move into my dad's attic. They couldn't get the box spring up there, so they decided I'd just have to sleep on a mattress on the floor. Bull#&%!$, I said. It was a wooden box spring, so I took it apart and hammered it back together once I got it upstairs.
The rest is history... :)

you're right dhutch...
Some men are intrigued by women who "do all this stuff" but in reality they think we're just doing it to stay busy (or something) until our knight in shining armor comes along. And once he does, we can stop pretending and put our aprons back on. ;)”

“Dating rocks :)”

“Twig, my other favorites are the guys who think it's so cool that you love the outdoors and actually do those kind of things with you, but forget that you're still a woman and like a nice evening out once in a while. Then to top it off, wonder why you don't ever dress/makeup like a model out of Cosmo for them. Whoa, you got me started.

Guys, don't forget your down to earth woman still needs to be treated like a lady. Most of us love to dress up once in a while, just give us a reason. Bonus for you, we're in pretty good shape from all that outdoor activity and look pretty good in a dress. If you can overlook a small bruise or two ;-)”

“So what you're all saying is that you get huffy when guys do stuff for you, and when they don't do stuff for you, or when they offer to do stuff and don't do stuff in the end.
You're happy when they let you do stuff on your own, or happy when they want to do stuff with you or happy when they'd like to do stuff with you and you get to decide what stuff then end up doing?”

“What, you're confusing us.

No, I'm not sure I speak for all women (being a little strange and all) Just be real man. If you don't want to go backpacking, bike riding, or kayaking...cool, but don't get jealous when I go without you. And if you want to spend time with me, find a way. I'll be looking for a way also. If not, no biggy...it just doesn't work out.

Don't patronize me, but don't treat me like a guy. Treat me like the amazing person that I am. I'll be treating you the same way.

This is why I'm single.... isn't it. OK, I'm done now lol

and Twinks is right, dating rocks.”

“no, Y2, you have it backwards...I think.

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy cuz my guy called me on his lunch hour to chat (da, da, da, da,da,da = a happy little ditty)”

“Well that was a pretty good summary anyway ;o)”

“woohoo, you tell 'em hutch!
=D

(I was confused by ynami's rant as well, LOL)”

“oh don't worry Twig, I've just got enough women troubles of my own right now anyway ;o)”

“Make that troubles with women :o)”

“Treat me like the amazing person that I am. I'll be treating you the same way. - dhutch

Hear Hear!!!!

If only more actually did this.”

“And I'm glad it's going well MtnMon”

“"So what you're all saying is that you get huffy when guys do stuff for you, and when they don't do stuff for you, or when they offer to do stuff and don't do stuff in the end.
"You're happy when they let you do stuff on your own, or happy when they want to do stuff with you or happy when they'd like to do stuff with you and you get to decide what stuff then end up doing?"
ynamiynami

ROTFLMFAO !!!
No offense to the ladies though.

I love a Ruff Tuff babe cleaned up and ready for a romantic night!
It is awesome seeing them all beautified! Thats the best of both worlds if you ask me....”

“Who better than a tomboy type woman that spends most of her time with guy friends to really know how to treat a man.

I can see it now, the new Ruff Tuff babes of trailtalk by candlelight, calendar. Can we get a Macho, gearhead men of trailtalk by candlelight calendar as well???”

“Lookin' for love - Waylon Jennings

I've spent a lifetime looking for you
Single bars and good time lovers, never true
Playing a fools game, hoping to win
Telling those sweet lies and losing again.

I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
Another heart, lookin' for love

When I was alone then, no love in sight
And I did everything I could to get me through the night
Don't know where it started or where it might end
I turn to a stranger, just like a friend

I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
Another heart, lookin' for love

You came a'knocking at my heart's door..
You're everything I've been looking for..

No more looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Now that I found a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
You, oh you, lookin' for love

In all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Now that I found a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
You, oh you, lookin' for love”

“Is that the new Dating Sucks theme song?”

“Should be, ha ha.”

“All the damn cool women live so far away. :-(”

“"No, I'm not sure I speak for all women (being a little strange and all) Just be real man. If you don't want to go backpacking, bike riding, or kayaking...cool, but don't get jealous when I go without you. And if you want to spend time with me, find a way. I'll be looking for a way also. If not, no biggy...it just doesn't work out.

Don't patronize me, but don't treat me like a guy. Treat me like the amazing person that I am. I'll be treating you the same way.
dhutch1
02:45:34 PM
06/14/04"

And I would love for my SO to go to the strip club with me but don't get jealous if I go without you. And don't try to turn me into your best "girl-friend" or get flustered because I can't fold clothes or I'm not sure what things of yours are dryer safe &.........

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.... I gotta go.”

“Hey man, I agree with you bearmagnet. It has to work both ways. However, don't touch....my laundry. I'll take care of that. You just mow the lawn ok?”

“some men feel threatened if you seem to be too capable, yet they say they dont want a clingy woman either. but the best is sooner or later EVERY one alway's says "I'm not like other men" What?????”

“What is really hard is when a guy tries to help a woman out. She gets mad at him for thinking she can't do it. It isn't that at all he was just trying to be nice but she takes it as she is weak or incapable of doing it.

Y2, is that what your trying to say???”

“lol - I was kinda making the point that they don't seem to know wtf they want ;o). Or maybe they just want it all their own way - or maybe that I'm just bitter, twisted and irrational ;o).”

“What are you TALKING about Ewker. ;-)”

“But yes Ewker, that would work too :o)”

“me, I said nothing, just browsing around looking at the post ;)


BTW the lady I went out with Sat morning invited me over for dinner tonight. Hot dang a home cooked meal...wooohoo”

“You, go boy....hey, don't forget the wine and/or flowers, k? Or maybe some dinner music.”

“Dang Ewker! You hit the jackpot!”

“The wine, make it the wine :o) I was cooked for Saturday, so I guess dating's not all that bad after all.”

“Wal-Mart has some nice flowers and Ripple doesn't cost that much... ;-)”

“Hey Ewker....remember the dating kit. Use the dating kit.”

“dhutch,I remember the dating kit...lol

SS, no Ripple, dang I like Pagan Pink

Y2 you were cooked Sat?.”

“Well it did get kinda hot I guess, but I won't get into the eating parts - so to speak.”

“Y2 go for it”

“Sound's like he wasn't waiting for your advice. lol How was that flaming dessert Y2”

“Ewker, being invited to her place for a home cooked meal may be her subtil way of getting you to have sex with her, so be prepared with birth control.

There is no right or wrong with dating or marriage. Each couple makes their own relationship, which is usually based on what they saw at home or in their culture.

I think everyone wants love and respect, but then there are the "other" things. Some women feeled loved by their husbands providing for them. Some men feel loved by coming home to a clean house or a good meal. You just have to see what it is that the person needs to feel loved.

twigeater, I had a relationship fall apart, and I said to the guy, I thought you liked this, and you said you liked that. He fessed up and said he liked me so much that he pretened to like what I liked to be with me.

People can learn to enjoy what the other person enjoys sometimes. My husband joined me in hiking, and loves it. I joined him in motorcycle riding. I own and ride a bike and I love it. If I didn't, he would be riding with others, and that would be alright too.”

“I'm not like all the other boys.”

“Calculating murderer or a battered wife?



Joe Andriano

Woman set for trial in ill mate's killing

Jim Walsh
The Arizona Republic
Jun. 14, 2004 12:00 AM


While Joe Andriano was fighting for his life against a rare form of cancer, court documents say his wife told friends that he was worth more dead than alive.

His wife, Ahwatukee Foothills apartment manager Wendi Andriano, 33, was the family breadwinner, supporting the couple's two small children while her husband underwent chemotherapy treatments.

But she also had affairs with two men, recruited other men to pose as Joe in a plan to fraudulently obtain a $1 million life insurance policy and forged a business license under a fictitious name to buy poison, police and prosecutors say.

Now, Andriano could become the second woman on Arizona's death row if prosecutors at her trial next month can prove she killed her terminally ill husband.



Andriano is accused of first trying to poison her husband with sodium azide, which mimics symptoms of a heart attack, and then slashing his throat after the dose in his soup wasn't strong enough to kill him.

Phoenix police found the spiked soup on the couple's stove and in Joe's body, and also found quantities of the poison his wife purchased on the Internet in a storage shed.

But defense attorney Dan Patterson contends Wendi was a battered woman who acted in self-defense when her husband attempted to strangle her with a telephone cord during an Oct. 8, 2000, argument at the San Riva apartments.

Jason Baker, who raced boats and built boat engines with the victim, said Joe, 33, was counting on damages from a malpractice suit against three doctors and three hospitals to support his family after his death.

"He was the most positive person I ever met," despite having adenoid cystic carcinoma, Baker said. "He was so worried about his wife and kids being taken care of. That's the only worry he had."

Wendi is an intelligent, polished and highly manipulative woman who ran their household, Baker said.

Baker's wife, Katy, said Wendi stopped wearing her wedding ring long before her husband's murder, saying, "I don't wear it anymore; he's already dead."

Deputy Maricopa County Attorney Juan Martinez wrote in court documents that the same medical malpractice suit Joe was counting on to support his family was his wife's motive for killing him.

"Defendant attempted on several occasions to fraudulently obtain insurance on the victim's life," Martinez said. "Additionally, according to her, the amount to be awarded as part of the medical malpractice lawsuit would increase upon her husband's death. In her words, he was worth more dead than alive."




No signs of strife


But Jeanette Andriano, Joe's mother, said there were no signs of marital strife hours before her son's death.

She said Wendi tenderly rubbed Joe's back during a family steak fry in Casa Grande.

"He didn't see anything coming," said Jeanette, a retired teacher. "He was happy. He had just started putting on a little weight."

Wendi's mother, Donna Ochoa of Casa Grande, said police and prosecutors misunderstand her daughter, who gave away presents meant for her to less fortunate children.

"She's a person with a big heart and has been since she was a little girl," Ochoa said. "She's not the person they're talking about. She was always a wonderful mother and wife."




Defense plans


The battered wife defense, accepted in Arizona for more than a decade, covers psychological, physical and emotional abuse, Patterson said.

He conceded that there are no police reports to document physical abuse, but Phoenix police reports recount two violent incidents.

In one, Joe smashed some bedroom furniture and in another he smashed his wife's cellphone during arguments.

"Abuse is not necessarily about broken bones and chipped teeth. It's a control issue," Patterson said. "It's the psychological damage that never heals. . . . A husband doesn't have to hit his wife to exert control."


Expert likely to testify


Patterson's defense rests heavily on the testimony of Sharon Murphy, a domestic-violence expert who concluded that Andriano fits the profile of a battered woman.

Murphy testified at a hearing last month that she interviewed Andriano, spoke with defense attorneys and reviewed police reports.

"There are no witnesses, there are no objective tests," Murphy said. "There are so few women who have told anyone their story."

But Martinez attacked her conclusion, saying Murphy "sat down with the defendant and chose to believe her."

Maricopa County Superior Court Judge Brian Ishikawa ordered a battery of psychological tests that will determine, among other things, if Andriano is faking her defense.

Patterson is asking Ishikawa to bar prosecutors from introducing evidence of his client's affairs, acquisition of sodium azide and attempts to acquire a lucrative life insurance policy.

In court documents, he said the affair with one man "was an error in judgment committed as a result of the stressful events" stemming from Joe's illness, they jointly obtained the poison to assist Joe with suicide if necessary and both sought the $1 million policy for their children.

Ishikawa is scheduled to rule on the issue during the oft-delayed trial, now set for jury selection July 13.


Damaging witness


Among the most damaging witnesses expected to testify against Andriano is Chris Hashisaki, a then-San Riva bookkeeper who used to accompany the defendant on drinking excursions to Tempe bars.

Andriano called Hashisaki to her apartment at 2:30 a.m. on Oct. 8, 2000, where Hashisaki found Joe lying in a fetal position, begging for help from firefighters and complaining that they had not arrived, police say.

Hashisaki convinced Andriano to call 911. She watched as Andriano tried to pull her gravely ill husband off the floor," ordering him to get up, the report said.

When Hashisaki stepped outside to help flag down arriving firefighters, the defendant told her to send them away.

Andriano eventually convinced firefighters to leave, telling them her husband had a "do not resuscitate" order, the report said.

But about 30 minutes later, Andriano called Hashisaki and told her that Joe found out she had been cheating on him, had "lost it" and tried to strangle her, the report said. Andriano said she hit her husband in the head with a barstool in self-defense.

Police found a broken barstool, but they also found Joe's throat slashed with a kitchen knife in the blood-splattered apartment.

Jason Baker said he cannot imagine his laid-back friend attacking Wendi under any circumstances.

"He'd be the kind of guy who would get in a fight and walk away," he said.”