Dating sucks

“not to worry Ewker - between the down-east and deep-south accents they won't be able to understand each other anyways”

“HOI, I think SS may have the look of love in his eyes. Think Twiggy will understand that.”

“LOL. May be some other 'look'.
I think MS twigeater and I need to take a more 'private' hike. ;-)”

“Driving out to take care of an errand at lunch, all I could think of was the "men advertise" thing.

But wait, there's more!

Ewker, that's part of the deal. But discrimination is necessary.

On the "pay for" side. If it's my idea, I paym done deal. If it's his idea I offer to pitch in. Most of the time the offer is refused, many times it causes offense?”

“You cheatin' on me already, Stovie!? Oy vey...I swear!”

“I guess this site is a dating site too. Profiles, pictures, common interests...”

“When I was dating, if the girl insisted on paying her way on the first date, I took that as a I sign she was uninterested in having another. If she just offered, then I assumed she was showing that she was modern.

I never got insulted by such offers though.”

“Ewker, have you started using a dating service? Is that why you are having so many dates? Maybe I missed that in an earlier post. Good for you and good luck!”

“I think a guy has to sell himself to a woman. But you need to make sure you don't forget she is there. You have to have her in the conversation. You may find out that you both like or dislike the same things. If so then your off and running.

As far as paying, if I ask them out then I will pay. If they offer to pay that is fine but I usually say I have it.

I did have a lunch date where the lady requested 2 checks. That was ok also.

I read the book Mars and Venus on a date. I need to go back and read it again.”

“Most of the men complain about paying, then we get this:

"When I was dating, if the girl insisted on paying her way on the first date, I took that as a I sign she was uninterested in having another.
bitpusher
11:26:32 AM
06/16/04"

And you men say women are hard to figure out!
LOL! =D”

“I have a good male freind who said something quite profound to me one day: "Isn't it funny how the things in the beginning of a relationship that we think we can put with are the EXACT same things that we can't stand in the end?"”

“twiggy, there's a difference between offering and insisting. If she insisted, I assumed that she was only interested in being friends, or that she felt she had made a mistake in going out with me, and didn't want to feel obligated to go out with me again.

If she offered, like I said, I assumed she was being modern.”

“There's a thread out there bearmagnet about what a Denny's "chef" recently added to the honey mustard dressing."
dhutch1
10:21:07 AM
06/16/04

NASTY! Although, I have been a waiter in the past and believe me, the last thing you want to do is piss your server off!”

“Ruby and ladies....

Ok I tell a woman I have never been married and I have no kids, they seem to runaway as fast as they can, why?”

“If a woman acually paid for a date after the first date, that would impress the he11 of of me.”

“Snafu, maybe they run because they assume that since you have not been married nor have kids that you are inexperienced? Just a guess. It's not fair, but maybe they have been married and have kids and want someone who understands both? As we all experience life in greater depths, we have a tendency to want someone who has also had those similiar depths.”

“They assume you have "Peter Pan Syndrome", snaf...”

“snafu, you have mail”

“Kids are fine. Just no spoiled 20 somethings still living with mama.”

“yep, I've learned always complain about something at a restaurant after you've eaten!”

“Snafu, Maybe that's not why they have "run away." Could it be something else? I can't think of a reason why all women would dislike that. In fact, I can think of a lot of reasons why a woman would like your scenario. i.e. not having to deal with an ex and visitation issues and all that potentially nasty stuff.”

“What about layabout 30-something wastrels, Stove? lol...”

“bit - The mamas are getting over my age range then, lol.”

“makes sense......
I know a women who thought that and went out with a guy who had all the same problems and commitments she did, arguing w/ EX, Kids stuff, Court dates, blah blah blah.... She decided between her baggage and his baggage it was too much baggage.....

I see it, with me or guy like me you get a fresh slate. I have all the ammenities and none of the baggage(except my dog :-). I love kids and can accept and try to understand and be supportive of troubles with a EX and etc..
This has been my exact situation in the past 9 years (2 relationships) Never got me anywhere except in debt and still alone.
Now I'm getting to the age where a woman's kids are older and she has more time for herself and the Ex is usually long gone. Only porblem is Mentapause(sp?) is right around the corner...LOL
Or I could try to rob the craddle and find a 20 yo haha”

“A women asked me why I hadn't been married yet or have kids. The question was in an "accusatory" manner. I said I didn't want to be divorced and a single parent yet like the rest of the losers I meet. Yes, she was divorced and had a kid. No, I didn't mean it. She was being passive aggressive all night and I had had enough.

I did enjoy the rest of my evening.

So why haven't I? "I'm waiting for the perfect women, my true soul mate, and I think I might have just found her." ;)”

“snaf, I'd go young if I were you, they have 15 fewer years reading Cosmo and getting weird ideas from it, lol...”

“BIT...

"peter pan" ???
OK ya got me on that one????

grean tightie's ???”

“snafu, are you mentioning your ex girlfriends to them. That will do it.

I mentioned earlier that I felt like I wasted my time last night with this woman I met. That was because all she wanted to talk about was her ex bf's and husbands. Then when she wasn't talking to me she was talking to everyone at the other tables.

If she didn't like being there she could have left. It wouldn't have upset me at all. Actually, I couldn't wait till the waitress came over with my bill.”

“well that seems odd to me bit, but I'd do what made me comfortable...if a guy had a problem with that, then he'd have a problem with lots of other things about me, so no second date would be the right thing. Plus I'd probably be offended by a man thinking I was trying to prove to him that I was "modern"
>ack!<
Now I've been single for 44 years, so I'm probably kinda set in my ways, LOL...

Stovie, you men all just *think* you want a woman like that, but you really don't. ;)”

“twiggy - How about a test drive darlin'?”

“Ewker,
I have to get mail at home later, no yahoo access here.....

Mentioning X's..I have made that mistake in the past.... and I have had that happen to me too.... when it happened to me I realize to not do it myself again to other person....


Ruby,
I did not mean "all" but many of them do :-)

BM...
I say the same thing, no kids no marriage, due to no divorce, no child support and no visitation...LOL
I'm a dreamer, I wanna get married once and have it last forever... I have about a good of odds as Rodney Dangerfield getting laid.

Bit....young sounds good....and ROTFLMAO!!!

Stovie and I need to find some TWINS!!!!”

“Kids and ex's are a biggie, that is for sure. They came first, and will always be in the picture. Not all ex's will always be, but the kids will be. There is a bond between the ex's that only they understand, and it is mostly because of the kids. When dating someone with kids and ex's, it is just understood that you fall in there somewhere...just not always first and you have to understand that...it takes time to place yourself in the triangle of life. Being walked on is not a pleasant experience, but how does one know that will happen?”

“Peter Pan Syndrome...the little boy who refuses to grow up.

Not saying you're one, snaf, just saying that's probably what a lot of them are thinking.”

“OKAY got it....
I do like to play!!! LOL
I have curtailed much of it and let the SO know her priorities are my priorities, and If I get to do some of my things now and then I'm happy. I can sacrifice, but like you say they probably don't see it, or want to see it or if they do see it they dont believe it....
I think us "never married", "no kids" bachelors would better off just being "service men" for single moms, you know when you need us give us a call 1-800-need-some. LOL j/k
It's is funny it seems like if you didn't jump on the marriage wagon in your 20's your destined to deal with baggage.
I'm a hypicrite at times too, when I see a 30+ woman, no kids, never married, I say what the hell is wrong with her!!!!....haha”

“I have a friend in her middle 30's, no kids, never been married, who's having a hard time finding love. She's Mormon, and so she has limited her choices to Mormons, of which there aren't very many in this area. Plus, most Mormon men in her age group are already married. So I guess she's waiting for a tragic accident or horrible disease to befall some poor guy's wife, lol...”

“"When dating someone with kids and ex's, it is just understood that you fall in there somewhere...just not always first and you have to understand that...it takes time to place yourself in the triangle of life. Being walked on is not a pleasant experience, but how does one know that will happen?"
wolfeyes

Boy do I know this.....
I have been in this position and it is very very hard....
My GF/XGF once said to me I was a "luxury" Isn't that sweet? :-)”

“Bit - is she cute and does she believe in polygamy?”

“Bit,
Tell Her I'm a catholic who grew up with a Jewish mom and a Protestant dad (the truth) so I'm well rounded in religion. And If she wants "More-Man" I can give it to her!”

“4 of my good friends and I say, when we're 45-50 yo and we're all still single and unmarried (or divorced) we are going to do what the dudes in the movie "Old School" did!!!!”

“Yes, Snafu...it is very very hard at first...sometimes it never gets easy, thus the breakup. Some women have an unhealthy attachment to their ex...some men, too...from their view though, as much as they were miserable with the "Ex", they are a different miserable without the "ex". Or they are scared...or they are protective of that bond...could be a million and one things...without kids, the "ex" hardly plays a roll at all...ever notice that one?”

“Yes she is cute, and no, she doesn't believe in polygamy. If she didn't she'd likely be married by now, lol...”

“Oops, that should be "if she did"...

damn rented fingers”

“Yes Wolfeyes I have :-(
When the GF's Ex-hubby was getting remarried a year or so ago, she lost it... she emailed him and begged him to get back together. I was understanding to her feelings about him moving on and also their bond with the kids, I really did!.
But when he forwarded the emails to me and she confessed she did send them, that put a damper on our relationship.
See she always told me I was better then him and blah blah blah, but she never opened her heart to me, She had the same opportunity that her Ex-hubby had, but she did not wanna let go like he did. So now she says she has hate issues with him and needs to solve them....
Which in a way I actually understand that.
I get frustrated with her in the sense that she could be very happy, if she would just let go...

I know when most people say "I Do" they really mean it and want it to be forever. Life just sometimes throw's a monkey wrench in it.... Some couples/people will work thru it and others will bail out...”

“PS...
Wolfeyes....I forgot to say you hit the nail right on the head...LOL

You smartie Pants :-)”

“You guys okay down there?”

“I got it figured out!!!!

Okee dokee
I will find a woman who has never been married, no kids, between 18 and 75 yo.... I will get her pregnant and marry her (or visa- versa) then we can be happy for a little while have a few more kids, have something go wrong, (cheating, loss of job, etc) get divorced, go bankrupt, go to court, settle on visitation and support and then I will be a hot commodity for the dating scene!”

“Damn. How about occasional polygamy? Is she at least on the East Coast and willing to not Mormonize me or anyone else?”

“I caught her polishing her Mormonizer just the other day, so I think you're outa luck there, bearmagnet...”

“whoa, bitpusher! That's pretty hot.

course I just joined back in to the conversation...don't mean to offend.”

“Works for me.”