Dating sucks

“Tilt, did you say wingding was his excuse? LOL!!”

“the GENERIC wingding!”

“See, mtmom2, he was just a little busy. next time, go out on a few other dates (or hikes) and don't bother yourself with calling/e-mailing him. let the man pursue, it works out much better that way in the long run. :)”

“yeah, ok. that's what I keep telling myself too. I am leaving for the weekend but I did tell him that in an email. We'll see if he calls from work today.


hey, I did get a bike ride in this morning.”

“Tilt, you're always on here but we never hear about your dates. Got a steady GF? Come on, spill the beans! married?”

“mtnmom2you seem to be gauging your relationship with this guy by whether he calls and how often. What is the quality of the time you spend together, the intimacy of conversation.

You're moods have been fluctuating by the timing of his calls and e-mails. Relax. It will turn out one way or the other. Your testing him with his knowledge of the question.

Remember, you are more than worthy of this man's affection. With that knowledge there will be peace. If he never realizes it, then he is the one that is unsuitable. If he realizes but shows affection in other ways, well, that is just something you will need to learn to recognize.

Waiting by the phone sucks! Just don't do it.”

“Nicely put, dhutch!”

“thanks for the words of advice. See, I knew I had friends here. You are right of course. It's just tough when the kids are on the same plane as you though. I do almost have the half acre of garden finally weeded. Next to work on is digging out the place for the patio. Gonna' lay slate for my patio.”

“MM, you need to make him an offer he can't refuse.”

“Rule of thumb:

Meet for the first time - first contact in 2.5-3 days, No Negotiations

Call and leave one message. Another without a response is desperation.

Move on”

“At least you'll have a nice yard. How bout inviting someone to a candle lit dinner outside? How romantic is that?”

“So you mean to tell me that I am wrong when I leave a message 5 to 10 times every hour. Also does it still count as a phone call if I just breathe heavily into the phone and don't respond when asked, "Who is this?"”

“I have never been good at playing hard-to-get except w/ the ones I don't want to get. Man, those almost turn into stalkers! j/k

so how does one value one's self more? come on, are there like 12 steps to it? What's the key?: A mantra I have to say everyday?”

“Breathe deeply and do things you enjoy. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we want to have and how we want to appear to others that we forget to enjoy what we are doing and live in the moment.

Wear what you like
Do what you like
Be who you are
Enjoy some of your own company

You seem to being doing those things already.”

“ROTFLMAO AT ZAC!!!


MTNMOM2 stop looking so hard and one will fall into your lap....
Good luck”

“I have never been good at playing hard-to-get except w/ the ones I don't want to get. Man, those almost turn into stalkers!


First, its less about playing hard to get, and really having a full life of your own. What do you have to offer someone else?

Second, see how this actually works? When you let him pursue, there is naturally more interest (i.e. the stalkers). You didn't call them but they certainly wanted to talk to you! If you're the one doing the pursuing, there isn't anything left for him to do.”

“Lumber - If they can't ID you then it doesn't count.

mm - it's not playing hard to get it's setting a standard on how one wants to be treated in a relationship. The return call immediately following first contact indicates mutual interest/respect as does the "not too late" first call.

The not too early call indicates a needy person

If I think someone is trying too hard at the hard to get then I assume it's a power play and definitly end the game.”

“good call bearmagnet.”

“I need a date so that I can find out for myself.”

“Yeah, you're all right!

But what I really want to do is get off this Dang computer. Is my car done yet!!!

My student bagged on me this morning (I'm tutoring). and now I'm waiting for the mechanic to call. I would hike up to the "M" but I have to save some energy for the bike ride back across town to get the car.”

“Mtn I can soooo relate girly.....I think we are on the same page sometimes....best of luck to ya. I have learned that as long as you love yourself and are truely happy with yourself, love will find you rather then you lookin for it.”

“Yeah, I keep telling myself that too. I keep blaming it on hormones, but it's too early to start that change yet. Heck, I'm only 41. My grandmother at 88 still gets hot flashes. I don't want to be this way for the next 40 years!”

“Good advice here.

mtnmom2, oh no, now we're back to bipolar!! >8-O

I had to laugh while doing an interview with a divorced woman yesterday. She said how her ex had told her she was BP (which, of course, I had just read all the conversation on here). She said, "Bipolar?!?!? PHHHHT! That's in your 20s. I'm in menopause!!!"

And then she proceded to tell other stories, like how a guy she dated said his ex-wife was -- YOU GUESS IT! BP!

LOL! So this is the new thing men are saying these days, hmmmmmmm??”

“Yeah, how many times has an ex that you broke up with asked if you were gay. It's happened to me a couple of times. phhhht! Would that really make them feel better about it? Like...the only reason you wouldn't want me is because you don't want any other man either???? So, now it's bi-polar huh?”

“Bipolar means stay out of relationships!!!!!”

“We learned that if we mention your hormones, you get all pissed off, so we had to think of something else.”

“Bipolar???? No way!

I just assume all women are crazy from the get go. ;-)”

“Hey, I know my hormones (or lack of them actually)make me crazy. Just because I'm aware of how they make me act doesn't help you much cuz I have to vent somewhere!

You men just have to realize it's the hormones talking. kinda like "it's the liquor talking..." type of thing. It's not really me. at least not 75% of the time.”

“That's why they invented chocolate--to counteract hormone surges.”

“That's what my wife uses chocolate for.”

“I'm keeping a looooooow profile for the time being.... I take less direct hits that way, LOL

So who's that Slate guy?


Ha!”

“Just checking is all. You know how curiosity always kills the cat...

I'm trying to stay away from chocolate. But even that didn't help this time.


DH, I didn't see that post about the candle lite dinner. I have invited them over, one declined, the other was accepted but now I have my kids and they have a way of ruining the candle lite effect.”

“Hormones
Menopause
Aunt flow
Bi polar
BPD

whew!
Glad I'm not a woman :-)”

“I just said bipolar because it fit the joke about

"Dating Sucks! Rocks! Sucks! Rocks!"

... in the classic on-off inside-out topsy-turvey sine-wave mode... donchaknow.



Oh -- I just heard about a movie being shot here in Georgia with a classic plotline:

Boyt Meets Truck; Boy Loses Truck; Boy Gets Truck.”

“You forgot PMS!! Bastid!”

“well, you know it was all because of that snake in the grass in the garden.”

“PMS = Aunt Flow

jerky...”

“snaf, PMS usually happens just before aunty comes to visit.”

“So 29 days of PMS and 1 day aunt flow shows...got it!!!!!








j/k”

“LMAO, not in my case, snaf, but maybe that's your experience! You're just dating the wrong women apparently if that's the case.”

“mtnmom2. That's what they make handcuffs for. j/k

Maybe they can spend one night at a friend's house?”

“I've lived here a month, DH, not really enuf time to sluff kids off on people I don't know yet. I'll just have to wait. They're only going to be here another 4 weeks. And then I'll have a 2 week vacation (sort of).”

“"Yeah, how many times has an ex that you broke up with asked if you were gay. It's happened to me a couple of times. phhhht! Would that really make them feel better about it? Like...the only reason you wouldn't want me is because you don't want any other man either???? So, now it's bi-polar huh?"
dhutch1
01:49:18 PM
07/02/04

The female to male version of that is "Oh, you are so wounded, can't you ever love again." Anything but the not so awful reality that this just ain't going to be a match made in heaven. And I don't know what is so wrong with that.”

“I went out with someone who had kids (6 and 8) for about a year and a half. We finally split up, but it didn't have anything to do with her kids. They were good kids and we just worked things either with or without them. I wouldn't stay overnight when she had the kids, but we would still all go out sometimes. It's not hard for guys to do.”

“I was really looking forward to this weekend and next weekend with XGF when we where still going out, back a few weeks ago...
What really sucks is now that her kids are gone for 6 weeks we are not together.... same thing happened last year... I think back over the past 5 years of all the great times we had and I really miss those times with her... everything was great....then I think of all the crap she put me thru in the beginning and all the stupid crap I did as a result of it in the end, not trusting blah blah blah....
I wish sometimes time would stand still and things would never change when everything is good.... I really trully loved her and it is wierd not being in love with her anymore....
I even took a favorite picture of hers out of my wallet that has been there since the begining......

datuing sucks, but starting all over again sucks more,
well at least for me.....
I'm sure she is having fun running around doing what she does... O'well....
I will stop whinning and go home and get plastered and have a great weekend no matter what!!!

Adios ya'll
happy 4th”

“hey, Snaf. I hear ya! and I agree: starting over sucks, But I don't recommend getting totally wiped, just pleasantly plastered!

Have a good weekend!”

“Have a great weekend snafu. I agree too about starting over. I was married 7 years and recently divorsed. I think I am ready to date, but it's scarry to put yourself out there again. I have dated only one man since my divorse and I fell too quick and scared him away. So now I am just going to enjoy myself and let things happen the way they happen.”

“Got Corona!
Got Toasted Head! (wine)

Gonna start the weekend of with a few drinks and go from there....LOL”

“I have to drive to Great Falls yet tonight. So I can't start yet. You'll have to start w/o me. I'd have some of the wine! Although I generally prefer a white Merlot or Johannesburg Reisling or a good Gwertztramener (spelling?)”

“It's not easy getting over a relationship. In my experience it takes a minumum of three years to get over it, and six to really get over it.

The best thing to do is just let go. Remembering the good times does not serve any good purpose when the bad times are the reason you split up.

It's good to remember the bad times as well as the good and the good times as well as the bad.

And it's okay to be angry.

The feeling that something good has been ripped away from us is pervasive, but the reality is that it was not that good if it was ripped away from us.

Seems that when a breakup occurs we spend half our time being angry and the other half wishing we were still together. We never seem to reconcile the two.

But they're part and parcel of a whole, and the whole was obviously not all that good, or we'd still be together. Hello!

If you can shuck the baggage in less than three years, you're doing damned good.”