Dating sucks

“Very True Geo!
I cant wait to meet you Bud at Ithaca!”

“"Seems that when a breakup occurs we spend half our time being angry and the other half wishing we were still together. We never seem to reconcile the two."

OMG! Ain't it the truth. What a terrible push/pull feeling. I lost 10 pounds when my boyfriend broke up with me a few years ago. I was a nervous wreck missing him and hating him all at once. (We had a fab relationship and a terrible terrible breakup. While we dated he was great. I give him credit for that.)”

“Eventually you come to accept the dichotomy. Or else you go stark raving crazy. Or both, as I have. Crazy isn't so bad, as long as you accept it.”

“What did I miss, I thought Pixie was Gay.(?) No wonder I lurk, you people confuse me”

“Does Dr Phil know about all this advice? Can he handle the competition?”

“That's the purpose of this board WS, to confuse you. We're pretty damn good at it too, eh?”

“so what about this...someone insists they love you...but refuses to introduce you to his parents and friends????”

“he's married, div...”

“Veerrrryyy suspicious Divinity”

“He's not married.....”

“He's not married....."
divinity
04:22:32 AM
07/03/04

or so he says!!

if he won't introduce you to his parents and friends then he is hiding something. He doesn't want anyone to know he is seeing you. have you asked him why, if not ask. You have nothing to lose but him. The way it sounds you won't be losing much since he won't show you off to his friends/parents.”

“yup, It's definately not a good sign if he won't acknowledge that he is involved to his friends and family. If you are seeking "happily ever after behind the white picket fence" this ain't shaping up that way.

On the other hand if you are OK with things the way they are, what's the rub?”

“Lets think about our preconceived notions of what we want. I'm thinking of guys who say, "Oh, I want a petite gal, thin, blonde, younger than me, etc..."

Not to name names, but, ummm... I seem to remember a certain tattooed man saying that, LOL, umm, Snafu. ;-P

Let me ask this... Would you hike with me? Date me? I'm a "hot" (we'll put that one in quotes. LOL), single female who likes to backpack and get outdoors. Possibly someone you might consider.

BUT... From your qualifications, I am too fat, wrong color hair, too old, etc. Are you really hung up on what you THINK you want?

I used to have a lot of ideas about what I want. Those have changed over time. Thank goodness, they have expanded to include a lot more people.

My point is this, maybe you don't want to be stuck by what you THINK you want.

Along those lines, guys should take a look at themselves and how they stack up.

I recall maybe 10 years after I was divorced, I ran into my ex-brother-in-law and we were talking. He was always single, so I asked how things were going.

Later, one night he was drinking and called me... He was talking all about what he wanted, someone in their 20s, blonde, thin, etc, etc. I thought, in his case, WTF?? Have you looked at yourself? You're big, not good looking, balding, from a weird family and you farm. Are those on a lot of gal's "lists?"

Then the really funny part happened. He said, hey maybe you and I could do something some time. I laughed so hard. WTF??? I sure as hell didn't make his "list."”

“So what are you saying there Liz, we can't have the trophy wife?”

“

I wish sometimes time would stand still and things would never change when everything is good....
snafu29

"Oh call back yesterday, bid time return."
(King Richard II}”

“"If I could turn back time..."

-- Cher




(and even she went blonde, LOL)”

“DATING SUCKS!!!! CAN I GET AN AMEN!?”

“"Can I get an Amen!?!

Can I get a woman, too!"

-- Robin Williams”

“As for meeting the folks. We showed up, unannounced. My dad opened the door wearing only a towel. (Just got out of the shower.) Talk about a good first impression....”

“If you can shuck the baggage in less than three years, you're doing damned good."
Geobeet
04:52:24 PM
07/02/04
ignore this user
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


So how long for a 9 month relationship? I sure don't want to wait that long to recover from this one.

BTW, did I forget to say: MEN SUCK!!!! I'm sure I hate him now.


Whatever!!!!! Just help me remember the bad times. That's all I want now. Good advice Geobeet. Thanks for reminding us. Trouble is all this advice doesn't really make the pain go away.

Tomorrow is another day, though, right? Maybe, it's just us. (backpackers, that is)

at any rate: tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I have got to close the book on this one.”

“then close the book on this one. Move on to someone else who will treat you right. Someone who wants to be with you. Good luck!!”

“The pain of lost ones is part of the process. Move on.”

“It takes 2 weeks for each year you were in the relationship to get over it. Seeing as my relationships never last more than a year, two weeks is the longest i suffer. But I sure do vent for those two weeks.”

“if you call him 10 times a day, he'll realize that you're crazy and he won't want anything to do with you - saves the 2 week recovery time getting over him later on

kids and dating - oil and water”

“It takes 2 weeks for each year you were in the relationship to get over it.
winding04
08:38:54 AM
07/06/04

boy I am sure glad that doesn't relate to being married. I would hate to think that it would take me 46 weeks to get over the ex.”

“Ewker, you seem to have such a positive outlook on life lately! Its good to hear things aren't dragging you down!”

“smiley, I am doing great. Actually doing better than I thought I would.

I went out Sat with a nice lady. We went for a hike down by where she lives. Picked and ate wild blackberries. Picked extra to take home to her kids. Then we went to Cracker Barrell for breakfast. Then rode her bicycle built for 2 to the tennis courts where we played for about an hour. First time I had done that in many yrs. It was so hot we gave up went back to her place jumped on the hammock and drank some red cream sodas. It was a good day ;)”

“The book is closed on this one. I wrote him an email last night telling him where to go and what to do w/ himself. Today is a new day and it looks like I will be back to normal in 2 weeks or maybe less. Sorry to be such a pain. Glad that Ewk is having a great time dating! That's how it should be.”

“How to get over an ex in one night:

Go to a strip club!

Me: Wow! Look at those! I forgot they came in different sizes! Time to hit the bars!”

“46 weeks - that sounds about right Ewker. You're just doing the rebound thing now - part of the recovery period.”

“Well now I've heard everything from two weeks total all the way out to 'take the time spent together and double it for the recovery'.

That two weeks per year doesn't sound so bad now, does it, E?”

“wingding, I really don't think the 2 week thing will apply in my situation. Some of the women I have dated tell me I have it more together than some guys who have been divorced a yr or more. Yes I have told them how long I have been divorced.
When the last 12 yrs of your marriage feels like your living with a roommate you don't like, it doesn't take long to get over it. More relief than anything else.”

“you're in denial Ewker”

“wingding, I am in denial? Tell me why.”

“Hey Ewker, glad to hear you're having fun. That's what its all about. (Right??)”

“Don't bother talking recovery, denial, etc. It's now part of your past and cannot be changed. Live today and look forward to tomorrow. Change the subject if it leads to the past. Move forward, young man. Reality is now!”

“smiley, yes it is about having fun. I have dated 2 nice women so far and have enjoyed their company.

nowslimmer, I am not looking to the past. It is time to move on to the better things in life.
It just caught me off guard that wingding said I was in denial. Trying to figure out what I am in denial about not that it matters.”

“yeah, but did you get laid?”

“I love it when someone can make my problems look trivial.”

“what problem?”

“stikmon, maybe I did maybe I didn't. I guess I could ask you the same question about the person you dated.”

“I second Wingding Ewker, not that you asked. And maybe you are the one in a million that can dismiss it all that quickly, but the odds are really against it.

I recommend you delay any decison bigger than buying a new shirt for a couple years.

$.02”

“Shawn, I am not looking for any relationship right now. I learned my lesson the first time around when I jumped into a marriage right after getting out of one.

But I appreciate your thoughts on the matter.”

“Ewker do the women you're dating know you're not looking for a relationship?

Not that you asked, and not that it's my business :) but it does seem like you jumped into the fray rather quickly.
Even if you think you don't need time to heal, spending years in any relationship causes you to lose some of yourself. It takes time to get that back.

Everyone's different though, and I know others who have done the same as you and it's worked out fine.”

“I have full faith that Ewker knows exactly what he's looking for at the moment and will not cause any heartaches purposefully.”

“and it sounds like he's enjoying himself!
=D”

“Twiggy, you have mail and yes I am enjoying myself. First time in a long time.

Thank you Smiley. I think I know what I am doing.

I have tried to make it clear I am looking for friends at this point. You have to be friends first before anything else can happen. I learned that the hard way.”

“yup yup”

“I'm looking for friends with benefits.”

“Man, what happens when the bridge you set fire to won't burn?


Here I thought I'd torched the bridge: told him that I didn't want a relationship if he wasn't into it as much as me. Drew a line in the sand so to speak. What does he do? He calls me up and chats like he always does, but he doesn't mention the email. I know he got it. What am I supposed to think? We traded itineraries for the next few days (my kids will be w/ their dad over the weekend) so I guess we'll see if he calls. I need to pin him down on this email to make sure I understand where he's coming from.

hmmmmm got me wondering, but I'm on the rebound of the hormone thing so at least I have my head on straight right now. (at least I think so, maybe no one else agrees w/ me)”