Just another Joke

“Someone should rename this the "just another groan" thread.”

“argh.”

“Arph, he said.



Q) Why did God give men #&%!$es?

A) So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.”

“Limpy, you mean so they can point while giggling loudly?”

“This from a guy who calls himself 'Limpy'?”

“The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."

The chief nodded.

The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied.

"When white man found the land, Indians were running it.

No taxes.

No debt.

Plenty buffalo.

Plenty beaver.

Women did most of the work.

Medicine man free.

Indian men hunted and fished all the time."

The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."”

“Confusious say..."Those who have sex by campfire, have smoregasm."”

“or burns on their butts from flying embers!”

“I laughed at a passing mouse. He ate part of my shoe.”

“Q: How can you tell if your wife has died?





A: The sex is still about the same but the dishes are backing up!






Happy Phriday everyone!”

“a friend sent me these & I thought they were cute!!!

1. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't
serve food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says
"A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"”

“Didja hear the one about the sidewalk?

It's all over town.....”

“LOL..hehehehehe”

“here are some more....heheheheh

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly,
"I as artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you,"
said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.

11. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm
positive..."

12. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet,
"let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his
eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because
he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

14. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there
are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my
mum
or my dad, or maybe my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha
Chu. But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

15. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

16. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
too high."

17. I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat
it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here?

I'm sorry..I love silly jokes ;)”