MOO

“What would you call a cow that has wings?”

“A troll.”

“dangerous?”

“COWABUNGA!”

“a 'sumaj'?

a manure spreader.”

“Q: What do you call a cow who has had a abortion?













A: Decalfinated!”

“on a side note...Vermont has stickers like those oval white OBX or whatever ones that say MOO...haha!!”

“
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, silly. Cows go MOOOOOO!
”

“You call that a receading hair line.”

“A lady had been married to a farmer all of her life. They had cows and horses on their farm and also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers market.

While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a contest form while in the store. So she completed their jingle and mailed it off to the Carnation Milk Company in an effort to win a cash prize which had been offered for the best entry regarding those little cans of milk found on grocery shelves.

Carnation had furnished the first line of jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all ...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of the jingle on their entry form. Each contestant could only use 50 words or less.

A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk representative came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. However it was unfortunate that the company could not publish it.

In lieu of that latter fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award and provided her with a company check in the amount of $1,000 for her creativity.

Here is her entry

I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no #&%!$ to haul.
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the Son of a #&%!$”

“What's brown and sounds like a bell?


Duuunnnng!”

“Knock knock.

Who's there.

The interupting cow.

The interupt.....

MOOOOOO!!!”

“watch out for flying cows... i've heard they can be pretty fierce”

“Travis is a golf fanatic.

Every Saturday he has an early tee time, gets up early and golfs all day -
at least 27 holes, some days 36. One Saturday morning, he gets up early,
dresses quietly, and goes out to his car to drive to the course. It is
raining a torrential downpour, but he decides to drive toward the Club
anyway. There is snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing a gale.
He flips on the radio and finds it's supposed to actually get worse as the
day progresses. He hems and haws before finally deciding to give it up for
the day. So then he turns around, drives back home, pulls into the carport,
quietly goes inside and undresses, and slips back into bed, where he cuddles
up to his wife's back and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she replies, "Yeah, can you believe my stupid husband is out
golfing in it?"”

“I like cows becuase some of them are black and white!

8)”

“I would call it a dodo bird”

“BSE.......Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy”

“None for me, thank you!”

“Aw c'mon! Party Pooper.”

“Where is CowPatty when you need her?

8)”

“I just have this little aversion to mutated prions with indestructible beta-barrel protein folding substructures, that's all. What? Like everybody doesn't?”

“Thats sounds cool as He!! Skully!!!!!!

8)”

“There was once a traveling salesman whose car ran out of gas way, way out in the country.

He walked down the road till he came to a farm, walked down the drive to the farm house and saw a three legged pig. Scratching his head he walked into the yard and saw the farmer.

The salesman told the farmer he needed to borrow some gas, farmer said no problem.

"By the way", the salesman asked," What's with your three legged pig?"

"That is the most amazing pig!", the farmer exclaimed.
"One night our house caught on fire. That pig broke down the front door, woke us up, dragged the baby out and directed the fire department to the fire when they arrived. It is the most amazing pig!"

The salesman looked puzzled. "But why does he only have three legs?"

The farmer kept talking-"That is the most amazing pig. One day I was working in the fields and my tractor broke down. I crawled underneath, but forgot to set the brake. While I was under there, it began to roll. That pig jumped up into the tractor, stopped it, set the brake and pulled me out. It is truly the most amazing pig."

"But that still doesn't explain why it only has three legs!"









The farmer looked at the salesman with incredible wisdom, "You don't eat a pig like that all at once!"”

“Now that is corney!

8)

But funny!”

“i heard that joke before i was born”

“How did you do that?

8)”

“me too... if i was born 10 minutes ago”

“Cool!!!!!!

8)”

“Ya know what happens when you shoot a flying cow out of the sky?




You get ground beef.”

“Can I put my order in for ground chuck?”

“And if you shoot a flying cow out of the sky while the cow is over water you get drowned beef.”

“Sorry i dont have any ground chuck”

“DRAT!”

“I do have plenty of ground cow dung though. I heard that if you put enough salt on it it tastes just like chicken.”

“MOO!

lol, don't worry - I won't kill ya”

“Hey know what i saw a cow fly in a movie but it didnt have wings. It was picked up by a tornado, but it may have had invisible wings.”

“ZAGREB (Reuters) - A Croatian farmer was killed when a cow he was about to milk fell and crushed him, local media reported Tuesday.

The unfortunate 61-year-old farmer, from the village of Cadjavacki Lug in central Croatia, went into the stable where his family keeps nine cows, as he had every morning for the past 20 years, the Vecernji List newspaper reported.

"I think he slipped, grabbed the milking machine and knocked it over. That must have frightened the cow, which slipped and fell on top of him," his distraught daughter-in-law, who was in the stable with him, told the daily.

"It took me and the rest of the family almost three minutes to get the cow off him."

She said the cow, named Lara, had been very meek and that even children could milk her without fear. The newspaper did not say what had become of the cow.

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2005-07-26T140307Z_01_L26438632_RTRIDST_0_ODD-CROATIA-FARMER-DC.XML”