my wife thinks i'm weird

“I have this urge to do a solo backpackin trip. I did one last year...kinda...see I was helping look for this lost girl up round here near the buffalo river & so anywayz, it was my 1st solo trip & it was really cool(buckshot the mighty dalmation was with me).

well, i told my wife that i wanted to do another solo hike(with bucky too) and she flipped plum out. says i'm a weirdo & i must be up to no good(taking my imaginary girlfriend). wtf? is it just me? i read on here that alot of you peeps do solo hikes. does your spouse object? and if so, how do you reason with her?
I tried to explain to her what it did for me to get out there alone & reflect & just ....be. she couldn't dig it at all.”

“Solos are great. BPing with others is great too.
Soloing is part of backpacking. 99% of us have done it.”

“don't get me wrong, I want to go numerous times with my wife and boys, but I just wanna go once alone.”

“My wife is uncomfortable with me bping solo but does not flip out. She is worried that I may run across some unfriendlies - which is possible I guess.”

“Two words: goats blood”

“Once you go alone you won't want to come back. Just ask Haley Zega.”

“Strat, I've gone solo my whole life. My first group trip since I was in the Boy Scouts was last month, and I'm 48. Solo is good. You have time to contemplate whatever's on your mind, you can cleanse your soul and just generally enjoy the solitude.
If your wife's like Mother Goose, she just doesn't like you going off on your own because she's afraid something will happen to you (or she's afraid you'll meet up with a little trail bunny!).Just reassure her that you can take care of yourself. If that doesn't work, tell her the trip is just too difficult to take her along.
If that doesn't work, just sneak out of the house! Of course, if you do that, you'll have to figure out where you're gonna live when you get home!”

“My wife can't do backpacking, so she reluctantly lets me head out alone, prefers that I go with someone, not because she thinks I'm heading off to be with someone else, but for safety, in case I get hurt.”

“I was solo-ing before I met SnowDude. He can come with me, or he can do what he wants. That's a big part of getting along for us.

The guys I dated before him would go with me at first, but after a month or 2 they needed time at home, and then they didn't want me to go. I still went.

Any man of mine has to take me the way I am. I like what I'm doing and I'm not changing.”

“got it covered chips, i smeared some on ma pack. btw, which one are you.....ponch, or john?

yeah, i think about that too coop. packin a lil heat will take care of the unfriendlies. the possibility of getting injured is probably my biggest fear. but she'll know exactly where i am. I was even thinkin she could shuttle me.”

“Any man of mine has to take me the way I am. I like what I'm doing and I'm not changing."

Snow Nymph
10:34:52 PM
05/16/02




How many men do you have!?!?”

“I leave a detailed map and try to pinpoint where I'll be overnight. If there is a signal I do like to call home to wish her goodnight. Peace of mind for both of us.”

“soloing is a differant experiance altogether. You can stop anywhere you want to or go as fast as you want to. I enjoy the solitude, but I perfer to hike with other people most of the time. When soloing I watch mysteps a little more careful doing stream crossings or the like. Laying in a tent or under the stars in total darkness alone and listening to the owls and whipperwills is a treat that no one can explain. It has to be experianced to be understood.

BAMA”

“By the way, Mother Goose thinks you're weird, too!”

“Had to go thru a few before I found SnowDude. He knows I can take care of myself.”

“The nights alone aren't that great, but walking alone in the woods is a completely awesome experience. When you are alone you become part of nature and nature doesn't seem to notice.”

“Hmmm - I agree with bacpac”

“But.....I like the quiet of the nights too. Water running in the creek, water lapping the side of a lake, the sound of the wind, crickets chirping, frogs croaking, little critters running around, stuff you don't hear in the city.

You see more wildlife hiking alone.”

“There are a few people I don't mind going with, but I like going solo, too. I spend most of my waking hours serving somebody else, going solo give me much needed time to myself.”

“i agree too & yes it was haley i was lookin for.”

“I have yet to hike solo. I was going to a couple times, but someone always ended up joining me. I really prefer having someone with me for the company and safety. I think it is part of my nature.

I know people to disappear in the mountains for a week at a time just to get away. Interesting.”

“From some of the things you've posted I'd say yes, you are definitely weird. What's that got to do with solo hiking? LOL!


I'd have to say that 95% of the hiking I've done in my life has been solo. Just leave a good map with the route on it and your anticipated itinerary (where you're going to sleep) and make sure you call to check in. The more people who have the above info (especially rangers) the less she'll worry.

You could always tell her that you're going hiking with people you met on the internet, alone, in the wilderness. Moowahahahahahahaha!”

“Tha main reason I like to solo is to walk my own speed and not have a schedual. I'll set up camp where ever I want to and usually have no clue where that will be.
Make your own planns. If your going to pinpoint a place where you plan to camp you might as well hike with another person.
Don't plan a trip to death. Be flexable.”

“Amen brother.”

“i like going alone, no scheduling hassles, and you always see more wildlife. once when hiking the old loggers path by myself a fawn came running down the trail and stopped about 4 feet in front of me, looked and sniffed at me for about 30 seconds, then it bounded away. it was awesome.”

“i would like to take this time to clarify my earlier comments. my wife diddn't "flip plum out" exactly.......it was more like ya'll said, she's just worried about my safety & also feels put upon by me cuz if i go alone, cuz she'll have to watch our 3 boys.”

“Stratdewd, I can sort of relate. I live in a big city, and my co-workers and friends are mostly city folk. Good people, but they think it's extremely bizarre that I like to go backpacking alone. Your situation is much different since it's your wife and you have children. Take her out to dinner and have a heart-to-heart talk with her and explain how much it means to you that you want to go solo and explain why (the challenge, the peace of it all, etc.)? And explain you'll take all safety precautions and perhaps compromise with her and agree to bring along a radio or cell phone? Other than that, I don't know what else once could do. Best of luck.”

“eyeroll”

“i always leave with my wife:
where i plan to park, the area i will be in, the day i expect to be back. if plans changed or i came out and headed somewhere else for any reason, i would find a phone and call to inform of the area change. i do this wether i am solo or with a group. if she is with me, we aren't as good about making sure someone knows where we will be. we usually tell the neighbors.”

“So, what you guys are saying is that my family is a bunch of neurotic worriers? I just want it in writing so I can show it to them, that's all.”

“"Sometimes a man just feels, he has got to make it alone"
Savoy Brown

I just spoke with a 48 year old single customer of mine. He spends six months (winter) on a small but cozy boat in the Bahamas. He motors out from Fort Meyers and picks a nice spot every year to set anchor. He catches lobster and fish to eat. Has a kayak to get to shore to purchase rice and fruit. Seems like the nicest guy you would ever want to meet. He might be pushing the boundaries of weird but you are not.”

“stratdewd, I asked my wife to read your thread and asked her to give her opinion. I've always wondered why my wife doesn't have the same reaction when I go solo that your wife does when you want to go solo. My wife said it was because I didn't ask her to go with me. So funny that wife of mine!

Here's what I think. Your wife probably hates being alone. She could not possibly think of being in the woods alone and having a good time. Since she cannot fathom this being fun it can't possibly be fun. You are a weirdo in her book. I suggest a trade off. There has to be something she loves to do that you hate. Like going to her mom's. Give her the credit cards and tell her to call her girlfriends and spend a weekend somewhere nice with them. A mini vacation where they can blab and spend money. Women love to blab and spend money even more than having sex. My wife just left for work so I can say this without fear. My 2 cents. Good Luck!”

“Long time ago a friend stood me up for a weekend hike, so I went alone. My wife at the time did pretty much the same thing. Upshot: about 30 years later I finally had to admit my tent was shot after 16 years of faithful service, longer than both of my marriages put together. And the tent before that lasted 14 years, the same length as both marriages.
Women come and go, but a good tent, ... that's something special.
No message here. Just a reflection.”

“OK....can I put in my two cents in my defense, since everyone is havin a big conversation about me here? Thank you :)

First of all, I am a life-long hiker/camper/floater myself. Love it still; go as often as I can. I have no reservations about solo adventures. I frequently go camping/hiking with 5 little boys ages 4 to 11, with me being the only adult. Usually this is because Strat is has a gig and I prefer not to sit at home and rot. I don't take a gun, but I do take a big knife. ;)~ I always let other know of my whereabouts, and I don't go to very remote spots, out of respect to the parents of the "extra kids" I bring. I recognize that although I have no qualms about being female and the only adult, their parents might, after all, that is a typical stereotype of our society.

Sooooo.....the conversation in reference occurred over a year ago, in a TOTALLY different context and I feel poorly represented. But those issues are not really appropriate for public consumption, and I wish he had never brought it up, but since ya did babe...I ought to get my say. too.

My concern is this: if he breaks his neck in a remote area on a three day hike, who will father my three sons?? It's not like we can't take a few precautions to mediate the majority of that concern. I do NOT have any problem taking a turn caring for the boys. I do it for every gig. Everyone needs time alone. oh yeah....and SHEESH....I CAN be "reasoned with". I'm not a witch.

So....take off dewd. Do want ya want. Love ya babe.

The Wife”

“My, this thread just took an interesting little turn! :-)”

“He can break his neck in a car accident on the way to work.”

“LOL, Stratwife, it's good to get your two cents in isn't it? Makes the "problem" a bit clearer.

I have the same problem with Birch taking off for a weekend alone...I don't want him to get hurt without me around (or Nigal) to drag his sorry carcass out of the woods and I want to go too! It's no fun being left at home to tend the kid(s) while the husband goes and plays! But, I suck it up and he goes alone when he wants to. With respect for my feelings he'll ask "on a scale of 1-10 how much do you want me to stay home this weekend?" and if he goes he usually comes home asap, after he's gotten it out of his system.

I must add that there are some hiking buddies that walk as softly as you do. It's amazing to have a red fox come within 3 feet of the both of you and be able to share the experience. It's a matter of finding someone who is like minded with you; who likes to get up and go at the same hour and hikes a close pace. Someone you can have comfortable silences with. My advice if you find that someone: Marry him! =)”

“Strat, you're like, way BUUUSSSSSSSSTED, dewd!
Shame on your bad self!”

“I'm goin hiiiiiiikin, i'm goin hiiiiiiikin

hmmm....better pack my neckbrace...”

“About the safety thing, I have fewer close calls backpacking than I have had getting to work everyday. One solo trip it dawned on me-if I keeled over dead right there, at least I was doing something I loved.”

“LMFAOOOOO u guys are craxin me urp!”

“my wife would rather I go solo than go with other women. ;-)”

“Treebait KNOWS I'm wierd.

Oh and Skully

Dear Skull family,

You are all a bunch of neurotic worriers.

Respectfully,
Humanpackmule”

“I'll get copies out to all of them right away!”

“glad i'm not the the only weirdo around here....small concollation i suppose...”

“Safety in numbers”

“hmmm......now i feel better.....

8/”

“Bust his neck on the trail? Well, that's one way to go out of many. He could cut his leg with a lawnmower and bleed to death, get hit by a truck, have a heart attack, bit by a shark if he swims at the beach, step on a rusty nail, bust a blood vessel, choke on a chicken bone, get hit with falling space debris, get shot by a crazed druggie, drown in the tub, eat something that was tampered with, or any number of bizarre fatal happenstance things. Worst thing that happens to me on the trail is getting 'et up by bugs, which led me to monitor bug seasons when planning trips (They can have the damn woods to themselves those weeks!)

Solo hiking is not exactly climbing ice cliffs without ropes! Frankly, you both need to strike out on your own once in awhile and savor nature for yourselves. Being (or even seeming) to be alone in a vast wilderness (congressionally mandated or de facto) brings out something from inside if you rise to the occasion and are willing to use your own resources, both physical and inner.

And what if I do fall and break my fool neck while hiking alone? At least I will have gone doing something I love instead of dying cramped up in a dead-end job or living in a crowded megalopolis!

Hiking and backpacking are not risk-taking behavior. Sky-diving, bungee jumping, technical climbing without checking your rope, ... those are ricky ventures!”

“What Geobeet said.”

“I have a friend who's husband cut off all the toes from his right foot with a lawnmower. There's no place more dangerous than your own home.”