Wet T-shirt Contest!

“Hey y'all --

Sorry to be so absent lately, but things have been hectic around here. Just for the record.. I fixed some pages on my website.. the infamous (you suck!) TRIPS page seems to be ok now, and I did some more work on Cabin Flats.. I cleaned up a few other things also, but it's late so I better quit for now.

Hope everyone is doing well. I talked to Prowler today. He said the canoe trip was such a blast!.. (hey Stikmon, is it REALLY true what he said?)

Well I know you guys know where I will be this weekend. Think of us while we are running up and down Mt LeConte three times in three days. :)

OH?.. and the wet T-shirt contest?.. hey. I HEARD it MIGHT happen.. :).. if it does, we will TRY to get some pictures!

Anywayz.. hello to all my friendz, hope your summer is going well!”

“It's good to hear from you, TD, but you REALLY shouldn't tease us like that!!!”

“hehe.. who said it WAS a tease.. there ARE more girls going on this trip than guyz..

:)..

although?.. it may be the GUYZ who have to entertain (?) the girls..”

“In that case it wouldn't be a wet T-SHIRT contest, LOLOL...”

“LMAO!!..”

“I'm in!

Good to hear from ya T-Dawggy”

“not knowing what Prowler said, it is most likely true. It is hard to exaggerate the tale of the beginning of the trip, 5 minutes, thats all it took! But from there on, it was smooth sailing. Would have been great to have had you with us, another time...I'm gonna make this an annual event.”

“... like an icepick through the forehead...
Splash”

“I won the wet boots contest, hands down on Lost Cove trip last weekend. Also gt the biggest bruise award! LOL!”

“At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and bought a groovy sport coat and moved to Miami and changed his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE...

Buddy Jones:
Ah, thanks, IKE... Yes, it's WET T-shirt TIME AGAIN Here at the Brasserie... Home of THE TITS...huh huh...And it's the charming Mary from Canoga Park Up next in her bid for the semi-finals... Hi, Mary...howya doin'?

Having been #&%!$ed senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills...confounded by his sport coat, she replies...

Mary:
Hi!

Realizing that she no longer recognizes him...or even appreciates the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES, like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy more exciting beverages...liquid products that will expand their consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance of Miami By Night...

Buddy Jones:
Where ya from?

Mary:
Ah, the bus...

Buddy Jones:
Which one?

Mary:
You know...the last tour... You know...Leather

Buddy Jones:
Oh...you were the girl stuck to seat 38 Phydeaux III... why don't you get in position and take a deep breath, because this water is very, very cold, but it's goin' to be so stimulating. And Mary's the kind of Red- Blooded American Girl who'll do anything...

Mary:
Anything...

Buddy Jones:
I said anything...for fifty bucks That's right!

Mary:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!

Buddy Jones:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed...that's right, you heard right...our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances...

Mary:
Here I am!

Buddy Jones:
...as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male person's conservative kind ofmiddle-of-the-road COTTON UNDERGARMENT! Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!

Mary:
EEEK!

Buddy Jones:
No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you...sounds like you just got an ice pick in the forehead...AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD ...a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess...she's totally soaked...yeh, totally committed to the fifty bucks...That's it just step into the spotlight...let the guys get a good look at ya honey!”

“I'm in the market for a new hiking shirt. I was thinking of the Mountain Hardwear Ignition Tee? Any thoughts on that one? Any other suggestions? Thanks!”

“Preferably I'd like to get one that REI.com has as I have some other stuff to order from there...but if you know of a kick ass shirt that isn't sold elsewhere...guess I'll have to make two orders.”

“lol.. buy several.. do some in-field testing.. write up a report.. and post it.. or better yet.. (lol) submit it to Backpacker Mag..

and when it gets posted.. go back to the store, and get your rebate from them for all the free adverstising they got as a result of your in-field report.

:)”