Greetings from TinFoilHatMan!

“I guess I should say AluminumFoilHatMan but it just doesn't have the right RING to it - It just doesn’t soar!

An ALUMINUM FOIL DEFLECTOR HAT is a type of headgear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. They are inexpensive and can be constructed by ANYONE. This unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly SECRET.



Making your own Aluminum Foil Deflector Hat:

1) Get a five-foot sheet of aluminum foil.

2) Fold the sheet four times into five equal segments so that you end up with a 1x1-foot square, MAKING SURE that you fold over the dull side of the foil leaving the square shiny on both sides.

3) Use SCISSORS to cut from one corner of the square to the center, making a straight line.

4) Bend the foil from one side of the cut under the other, making a slight cone. Again, make sure that the outside of the cone has a shiny side of the foil; this is VERY important.

5) Place the cone on your head and SQUASH the top and sides to make it fit snugly.

6) Apply Scotch tape liberally making sure to secure the cut in the foil and any form-fitting creases made in step 5.

7) Use more tape to SECURE your hat to your head.

It can't be STRESSED ENOUGH how important it is to have the shiny side pointing out. This is needed because the SHINY SIDE IS MOST REFLECTIVE to psychotronic radiation, while the dull side can actually, in certain environmental conditions, absorb it. It is also wise to complement this with a layer of foil pointing shiny side IN. This will keep your brain waves, which are also reflected by the shiny side, from being picked up by mind-reading equipment. This may cause AN ALPHA-WAVE HARMONIC to build up in the skull resulting in memory loss or pseudo-religious visions, but the risk involved is small compared to the potential of mind-intrusion.

You may augment your AFDB with random bits of foil, wire, small electronic parts, etc.

Canadian coins SHOULD ALSO BE CONSIDERED, as they are high in nickel content. Nickel, while not having the PSYCHOTRONIC DEFLECTING PROPERTIES of aluminum (or even tin), can act to refract psychotronic beams, thereby helping to SCRAMBLING the mind control signals as they are deflected off of the underlying aluminum surface. This will result in a lowered chance of RETRANSMISSION OF THE SIGNAL.

However, YOU SHOULD AVOID American and European coins at all costs as they contain aluminum based mind control circuitry. Canadian coins are free of this threat mainly due to the Canadian government's choice of NEGLECTING PSYCHOTRONIC RESEARCH in favor of research into giant robotics.

USE YOUR HEAD - PROTECT YOUR BRAIN.”

“Paraterrestrials are known to use PSYCHOTRONIC MEANS OF MIND CONTROL to inculcate humanity to accept their evil agendas. Your ALUMINUM FOIL DEFLECTOR HAT will work just as well against these signals as they do against human government and corporate ones.”

“I bet BACKPACKING with Marvin Gardens would be a truly interesting EXPERIENCE!”

“The EYES are an extension of the BRAIN. Consider covering them with foil when NOT IN USE.”

“Should they be removed first?”

“An Aluminum Foil Deflector Hat may be CLEANED WITH A TOWEL moistened with soapy water. Do not submerge your hat in water or use alcohol as this may destickify the tape. Consider making a SPARE ONE to wear while cleaning your main one.

You should construct a new Aluminum Foil Deflector Hat about every other month, depending on THE PSYCHOTRONIC TRAFFIC in your area. Users who have moved into an aluminum lined bunker (like me) and who only use their Aluminum Foil Deflector Hat when going outside may FOREGO REPLACEMENT for up to six months.”

“when i put my hat on the voices in my head get louder. what should i do?”

“Because of ALUMINUM'S PSYCHOTRONIC-DEFLECTING PROPERTIES, it has also been used by mind control agents to AIM AND FOCUS their signals.

The small aluminum pyramid at the top of the Washington Monument obelisk (which towers over Washington DC) is used as a FOCAL POINT for the dissemination of mind control throughout the Capital. Stations run by the FBI, NSA, Disney, the Secret Service, and others are scattered around the Capital beltway, within line-of-sight of the Washington Monument. These stations aim their psychotrons at the top of it, which AMPLIFIES AND RADIATES THE SIGNAL out to affect the Course of the Empire. This is also why the ONE DOLLAR BILL has an all seeing eye over the pyramid on the back, with the phrase "New World Order" in Latin.”

“You hear a lot these days about HOW BAD LEAD IS, how old lead based products such as paint and automotive fuel are causing people to die.

Why, one would think that it was some sort of GLOBAL CRISIS! In fact, the harmfulness of lead IS A MYTH spread by various mind control groups to keep people from filling the environment with RADIATION RETARDING LEAD. The ability of lead to block radiation is common knowledge, the stuff of pop-culture reference. But what PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE is that psychotronic radiation is just as unable to get through lead as the more commonly known, and less encountered, types of radiation, such as x-rays. By ridding our cities of their lead-filled, MIND CONTROL SHIELDING SMOG BLANKETS, our LAKES OF LEAD ENRICHED FISH; and our homes of HEALTHY, LEAD BASED PAINT, we are being deprived of a MAJOR FORM of psychotronic protection.”

“The GOVERNMENT added aluminum to coins, ostensibly to lower production costs. Patterning of the aluminum, either in ALLOY PERCENTAGE or SHAPE, can be used to deflect psychotronic beams in CONTROLLED WAYS, causing a signal to be amplified, redirected, or encoded with identification tags. This technology, used in the United States and Europe, turns people's pocket change into PSYCHOTRONIC TRANSCEIVERS and TRACKING DEVICES.

Coin psychotronics, although flirted with by a number of countries throughout the 19th and 20th centuries, really came of age in the 1970's in the US. In 1974 the US Mint produced ALL-ALUMINUM PENNIES in an attempt to move the technology to a new level. The OBVIOUSNESS of the change in appearance of the coins doomed this experiment to failure, and all coins were ordered rounded up and DESTROYED BY THE US GOVERNMENT in order to hide their plans. Possession of these pennies was made illegal by the US Congress. Any citizen caught owning one can expect a visit by the Secret Service and confiscation of THE INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE. The only "legal" one of these pennies in existence resides in the Smithsonian, placed there by special act of Congress to MOCK US CITIZENS as they tour their nation's capital.

The US government, however, recovered after that FAILURE. Ever since the late '70s, the US Mint has used a sandwiching process to embed special, UNDETECTABLE ALUMINUM CIRCUITRY into EVERY COIN. A number of countries in Europe adopted various incompatible forms of this psychotronic technology shortly thereafter, and the desire for a EUROPEAN MIND CONTROL STANDARD is the main impetus behind the introduction of the Euro.”

“You might try adding CEREBRAL RESONATING CHAMBERS, Josh. These are constructed of a piezoelectric polymer naturally occurring as common plastic drinking cups. It is common to PHASE-SPACE THESE OVER THE FRONTAL NODES (or, in my case, the former location of same) based on the usual height-to-base area ratio of the Egyptian pyramids. Any RECURRENT OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS are channeled into self-reactive feedback loops where they cycle endlessly in the background and are harmlessly dissipated as weak gravity waves. The resonators help to amplify desireable local thoughts while ABSORBING EXCESS ENERGY that would normally be leaked as unwanted though emissions to be received by hostile entities. These resonators also improve the local signal-to-noise ratio ("LSNR") of local thoughts, thus obscuring transmissions from external sources.

However, the NOVICE PARANOID should stick to the basic design since the exact placing of RESONANCE CHAMBERS and feedback loops can be tricky.”

“BTW Marvin,

The European AFDH's made with aluminium work better at shielding psychotronic waves than the American AFDH's made with aluminum. (It has a lot to do with the second dot provided by the additional i )

Thank you for spreading the word on these fantastic devices. They have improved the quality of my life and I can highly recommend them to all TT'ers.”

“Timothy Leary's dead, Oh, no, he's outside, looking in.”

“Timothy Leary's dead, Oh, no, he's outside, looking in.”

“Thankyou Marvin. Once again, you have shown that you are the sole protector of humanity. If only these slackers on TT could see what a gift you bring to all beings, they would fall into line and be eligible for transformation.”

“Hey Marvin, I wore my hat to work today and my boss yelled at me. Thanks a lot.”

“Remember... what the Doormouse said
Feed your head


(aHem)”

“i'm skeered.. . .”

“Marvin, have you ever considered scambling your thought waves with alternating polarization. A coded pattern could take weeks for intelligence sources to unravel. However, be sure to alert your cerebral cortex first or the polarization will create undesirable harmonic deviation, disrupting your body rhythm. Or at least consider finding a radiation blocking material that is a little bit more breathable (galvanized Gore-Tex or the like). My personal preference is my trusty bandana covered with a grid of electromagnetized tungston (the field scrambles my thoughts...unfortunately, it also renders my compass inoperable!)”

“why dontchu just get a disgronifyer? DUH!”

“Tin foil hats do not guard against psychotronic drugs spread in contrails behind high flying military aircraft, frequently seen over wilderness areas used by backpackers.

The best defense against these drugs is a diet heavy to red meat laced with antibiotics and growth hormones. The vegan and organic food movement is actually a government plot to keep people away from the only known antidotes to the psychotronic drugs spread by contrails.”

“The western states with a large cattle industry (and a red meat diet) voted overwhelmingly for bush in the last election. Proof of my above post.”

“There's just way too much Art Bell in this thread.

What can I wear to prevent the aliens, who live in my belly button lint, from sending me messages?”

“oh, don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, Marv! don't be afraid to get funky with those hat designs, people...let's PARTY!!

”

“I made my first one in kindergarten. I glued Cheerios and Fruit Loops to the outside of the hat to disguise it.”

“Another classic pic lyra! I assume you're in this one somewhere as well. Last time I think you were in a pic with Gene Simmons. You do get around! (lest we not forget the "Tourist of Death")

Does wearing a beer can on your head work as well? I've tried 2 cans over my ears and a Pop Tart box over my nose and had good results.”

“Putting the beer itself inside your body (preferably your stomach via the mouth) is better than a full can on your head. Works best around the campfire after a long day of hiking in hot weather.”

“yeah, speaking of sticks in the mud...that Gene is a real snoozer!

i don't think i'd heard about the cans on the ears...those are a must! pictures, please! ;-)”

“Gene may be a real snoozer, but I have to envy someone who can lick their eyebrows.”

“Belly button LINT is not lint at all, it's a VERY SLOW fluid.

"Beer can hats", though made out of aluminum cans, are NOT EFFECTIVE since they have gaps in between the cans. You may, however, LINE A BEER CAN HAT WITH ALUMINUM FOIL or even glue the cans directly on the ALUMINUM FOIL DEFLECTOR HAT.”

“you'd like to be able to lick your own eyebrows, would ya? think of your wife though, aero...what about HER eyebrows??

i wanted him to lick mine, because they were a little less than perfectly-combed, but he wouldn't. he said that's more of a third-date type of thing. whatEVer.”

“And I thought I had problems!

80”

“Those hats make for great BIRTH CONTROL.”

“So does offering to lick your date's eyebrows.”

“I licked my date's eyebrow in kindergarten. She had glued Cheerios and Fruit Loops to her eyebrow. I think it might have been a disguise."”

“What type of fuel works best with these hats?

Rocket fuel?”

“monomethyl hydrozine”

“If you drink enough beer, then luckily you won't have any thought waves worth stealing. I'm sure the government has absolutely no interest in my drunken ramblings and thoughts of Taco Cabana, but I could be mistaken.”

“Flowbee said "Taco Cabana"!
So, the rendezvous point is a secret no longer, eh?”

“Please consider the FOLLOWING:

1) The technology to IMPLANT IDEAS AND IMAGES INTO A PERSON'S MIND using electromagnetic and sonic waves was invented more than sixty years ago and has been growing MORE SOPHISTICATED yearly.

2) Secret agencies are conspiring to CONTROL YOUR LIFE and force you to live under a ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT.

3) Alien forces are seeking to subjugate humanity to their dominion. Abductees commonly report having their memories/minds ALTERED.

4) Governmental regulations of QUESTIONABLE ORIGIN are forcing us to rid our world of lead-based products and the BENEFITS THEY HOLD.

5) The BIG BUZZWORD IN POLICING is "Nonlethal Weaponry", devices that don't hurt people but make them "surrender" UNCONDITIONALLY and UNCONTROLLABLY.

6) The rise in "Entertainment Attractions" in places such as Las Vegas and Florida (not to mention the CONTINUED GROWTH of the granddad of them all: Disneyland) is creating concentration points where the POPULATIONS OF THE WORLD ARE HERDED TOGETHER and subjected to intense psychological programming.

Clearly, PEOPLE'S MINDS ARE IN GREATER DANGER NOW than they have ever been in the history of our planet.”

“This all kind of relates to Stephen King's "Tommyknockers". Great book, BTW!”

“I thought it all related to 'Gilligan's Island' reruns.”

“if i wear it will it make the radio in my mouth stop playing all the time? or just change the4 channels?”

“Clearly many of you are IN LEAGUE WITH THE FORCES OF MIND CONTROL and are trying to SCARE PEOPLE away from a product that can protect them. You may be doing this of your own free will (in which case YOU ARE EVIL) but it is more likely that YOU ARE YOURSELF A VICTIM OF MIND CONTROL, being instructed from above to conduct a VICIOUS SMEAR CAMPAIGN against anti-psychotronic products. You should immediately don an ALUMINUM FOIL DEFLECTOR HAT and flush out your brain to REMOVE ANY DELUSIONS.”

“Does the Mind Control League have a Players Union?”

“More importantly, do they have one of those cool hideouts in the mountains? I bet there's a lot of good hiking around one of those things.”

“you are really a scarry dude!but i think i like that (wink)
so yes id go on a hike with you. even if they didnt find my body for a year.”

“Hat is on, SIR! Ready to complete mission, SIR! Awaiting your orders, SIR!”

“Interesting. An aluminum foil hat FAQ. How useful Marvy! Will you be conducting fitting clinics as well?”

“you know, if I wore my foil hat here in NYC I would fit right in!”