Entertain Me

“has been getting to me the last couple of weeks? I don't know if it's summer or what, but I am bored outta' my gord. I am plenty busy w/ Newergirl, school, and work, but socially . . . I am freaking out. Help me . . . please.”

“Toga, toga, toga....”

“Aero, that is way too risky for a conservative bunch of rurals. LOL! I know I sound like a whiner, but really, any of you that have lived in a small town (even if you enjoy it) know what I'm talking about. Sometimes you need more social outlets. I am living for a wedding this summer and Montanapalooza.”

“Go read the "Most Memorable Caca" thread. There's some entertaining stuff in there....”

“Hmmmmm, we might have to have another MT TT meeting/planning session; this time with beer involved!”

“If you guys only knew where newgirl lived you'd be amazed. It's not the end of the world, but it's pretty close.”

“Veerrrry good idea Aero. I'm sure planning will go alot more smoothly w/ beer involved. Bit, while caca is infinitely interesting, I'm potty training a child right now, and really don't care to read more about it.”

“awwww that's sweet! they're all memorable then!”

“I'm so glad that Aero is justifying my complaints. He is right. I live about three miles from where hell starts. It's true, it takes creative sorts to live out here and not go mad.”

“Tell us where you live newgirl. I have lived in such places as Walden,CO - Lusk,WY etc... The amazing thing is all those towns have motels. You will never find a motel in towns that size here in Arkansas. Of course those places are much more remote.”

“Small town life is "nice" for older more settled people but for younger crowd it can be a D-R-A-G.

What do they do there, mud-truckin' and fishin'?

Ah, life with buck-toothed crackers.

We lived in Vermont for five years and liked it but would haul-a$$ for Washington, D.C. to visit family every ThanxG and Xmas.
Now we're back in Baltimore.......of all places.”

“When you see those satellite photos of the US at night, newgirl lives where there's a huge black spot about the size of Iowa. I lived in Gillette for a mercifully short time years ago. That was the smallest town I'd ever experienced. There was actually a lot going on there, none of it good tho.”

“Should't you be making that request to "newguy?!"”

“Someone call me?”

“newgirl -

I would switch areas with you in a second! Medium/big city areas suck, IMHO!”

“OK take a look at violin's picture. newgirl lives about another 50 miles from there.”

“Here's a joke for your amusement"

Two potatoes are walking down the street. How do you tell which one is the hooker?














It's the one that says "I-da-ho"..”

“Arky, put it this way. The pop. of the town I live in is about the same as Lusk and the name is far weirder. Tom T, I like being a small town chica, but sometimes you need social outlets. Most of my friends don't live here now and I have to travel all over the state to hook up w/ them. I choose this place, because it is cheap and safe to raise Newergirl. Plus I have a very supportive fam. here, but . . . as I said, you got to break out sometimes. Also, we do alot of mud boggin', shootin', and sometimes we go down the the mudhole that used to be the river and try to fish. LOL! Aero, is describing very accurately where I live. LOL!”

“Stump, I didn't mean that sort of entertainment. Taking a vacation from the men folk.”

“c'mon newgirl! Are you entertained yet? I wish I could figure out a way to shoot mashed potaoes out of my mouth over the internet! :C<”

“I had a job offer from Cenex before I took my present position. I would have been based in Kulm, ND. I took one look at Kulm, finished my interview and got the heck out of Dodge. I would have gone absolutely nuts the first winter up there.”

“That's it!!! Potato Gun!”

“Oh yeah, winter is awful Chili!”

“My cousin has night vision goggles. Pair that w/ a potato gun and some JD and we have a party!”

“Wait until newergirl grows up.

She's gonna run for the bright lights, big city!

You don't have to wait THAT long!

You'll crack up waaaaaaayyyyyy before then~@%^>”

“Hey and don't forget the Testicle Festival! What a ball!”

“That's a ball alright. Pretty punny stuff Aero!”

“LMAO @ aero!!! i don't know how you guys can keep from peeing your pants in anticipation!”

“That reminds me, i need to ask a friend of mine to come up with a few Oysters for MTpalooza.”

“I thought I had seen it all when I went to the Rattlesnake Rodeo in Opp, Alabama.

I am now inclined to think that the Testicle Festival would probably top it.”

“It's really hard Lyra.”

“oh, so NOW who's the nasty girl!”

“I knew, I absolutely knew that you were going to say that!!! LOL!

Chili, the Testy Festy is a sight to behold.”

“chili, you need to check out testyfesty.com I don't think they do that sort of stuff in Opp. Maybe they do, it is the hometown of Mike Dubose(grin).”

“WE got potato guns here!

The first time I fired my nephew's I fell out laughin'.

Actually, I miss Vermont more than my wife.
She said life was TOO hard there.
$hit, I did all the firewood and road-sandin' and road repair(with a shovel) and miscellaneous chainsaw-manglin' and takin' the little boys to the lake to see how high I could chuck 'em.
........$hee-it, they're either six-foot or better or gonna be soon.....no fun any more.

I don't do any shootin' anymore('cept the tater gun), but I understand shootin' is great sport down in Baltimore city.”

“Testy Festy
Buckin' Horse Sale
St. Patty's Day in Butte
Rodeos on the 4th (any one is good)”

“No Way Man. You lived in Walden, CO too? I'm probably the only person here who knows where Walden is.

I was roughnecking when I lived in Walden back in 1980. Actually we lived north of Walden on the highway going to Laramie, WY. We lived in a little cabin there.”

“Try to imagine it 100 yrs. ago. No computer, tv, phone.
At your age you'd probably have 3 or 4 newgirls/boys.
Talk about cabin fever...”

“La la la-la la
La la la

Now don't you feel better?”

“newgirl's social life would also revolve around the quilting bee. Doesn't that sound fun?”

“LeSub, just think, a 100 yrs. ago, I'd have something to be doing . . . in order to have all those little newergirls/boys! LOL!”

“Here's a song for newgirl (with apologies to Greg Keller)

This isn't where newgirl lives (but close)
At Ryegate, Montana's Testicle Festival time,
Where you can pig out on calf nut for hours and it don't cost a dime.
For a testicle filling, turn north out of Billings
Then west till you reach the sublime,
Ryegate, Montana's Testicle Festival time.
Now some of you tourists might think
That a meal of calf testes would stink,
But I beg to differ. Those buggers taste great with a drink.
They're just as finger lickin's TV dinner chicken,
A little bit heavy on dough,
But just pop 'em with Schnapp's and they're better than French escargot.”

“You RULE Aero!”

“ohhh, there's more!

At Ryegate, Montana's Testicle Festival time,
Where you can pig out on calf nuts for hours and it don't cost a dime.
For a fried gonad party, just turn in at Marty's,
Hell, its more than this poet can rhyme.
It's Ryegate, Montana's Testicle Festival time.
Yes, it's more than maniacally, aphrodesiacally, gustily, lustfully fine.
It's Ryegate, Montana's Testicle Festival time.”

“OH MY GAWD, YOU ARE TOO FUNNY! You should try to pitch this to those guys up there, I'm sure they'd love it. Is today Thurs.? I need to get out soon.”

“That aero is a NUT!!!”

“That actually sounds like fun to run around with night vision goggles, a potato gun and some JD!”

“I prefer George Dickel.....White Label.....90 proof”

“This thread has been a real fast 50!”