Online Romance?

“Online Romance?

WARNING: The following is a rant. The content following is neither politically correct nor suitable for children or the easily offended. For mature audiences only. This is not a typical TownDawg thread. You have been warned.

*loading environment*

TooHot4You: Heya sweetie.

TownDawggie: Heya, wasSsup?

TooHot4You: Not much. Chillin’ Talking to a few friendz.

TownDawggie: Kewl. So whatcha look like?

TooHot4You: Well, I am what you call a BBW.

*back to reality*

Big Beautiful Woman? Who are you kidding? At what point in your life did you get deluded into thinking you were anything less than a big fat pig? If you are a BBW, then I am a CH (ancronym for chunky hunk).

I saw your picture. My gawd, when did you stop caring about what you looked like? Your breast hang to your belly, and your belly hangs to your knees! Why don’t you just pull all your teeth out and claim you are going ultralight?

BBW? What a joke! Push away from the table. Get outside. Do something. No wonder you are on the computer all day. You can’t get your fat butt out of the chair!

This is a case where being ‘politically correct’ did not serve in your best interest. It has led you into some false confidence that all that skin hanging from your body is attractive. You need to get a life, and get some exercise, get on a fitness program, and desparately try to salvage what might be left of that stretched and overly taxed turtle shell you are calling a body!

How many years have you actually believed this load of crap? Five? Ten? How old are you now, twenty five, thirty? How could you have possibly lied to yourself all these years? Were you the cute chubby little baby? At those elementary and junior high dance recitals, were you the kid twice as big as all the others? Stuffed into some red and white polka-dotted tutu, and everyone remarked how darling you were?

If you played any sports at all growing up, I bet you played softball, and were always the catcher, because you could not have possibly caught anything unless it was thrown to you. no wonder you are an online ho! No one in real life would give you a second look! The chat room is the only place you can hide out and pretend to be something other than what you really are. You fit right in there with all the guys who claim to be six feet tall, with abs of steel and manhoods the size of farm animals!

Online romance? Online fantasy maybe. Well I hope you find your dream guy out there in that dream world! Next week, we will discuss my next favorite line of crap -- the bisexual woman.”

“Yup! That was... uh... different, alright.”

“LMFAO TD!!!!”

“Gee, TD, I don't think you should have soft-peddaled like that. You should have told her how you really feel about it.”

“TownDawg, you need to get out into the woods more. You are wayyy tooooo stressed. Do you really need to think about why other people look the way that they do?”

“.'This is not a typical
TownDawg thread'

Right! Nice to see you lighten up a little.”

“LOL at TD and AdakHiker!

So TD, you get in those chats and go right to the shallow stuff? ;)”

“On a few chatrooms i visit, i have this set up in my profile.

I DON'T LIKE:

Pple that think the net is a place they can lose their ugliness, and shed 200 pounds...lying only amplifies something that can be overcome, so be honest and pple will like you.

Boy chat rooms used to suck the life out of me, glad i pulled free.”

“.'we will discuss my next favorite line of crap -- the bisexual woman.'
TownDawg

Your inexperience is showing! We need to have a fireside chat.”

“Shouldn't this thread be labled "Online Repulsion?"”

“Maybe the woman he's talking about is so big she has her own gravitational field....”

“TD...i already know your rant about the "bi" women in chatrooms...

they will not chat with males, so stop trying...lmao...they are looking for lunch at the Y”

“I've never done chatrooms, other than one case where I had already gotten to know some people from a discussion board (similar to TT).

On those occasions where I stopped in a generic chatroom to see what was up, I found the conversation to be completely moronic. Maybe I just didn't go to the right place, who knows.”

“There's something about chatrooms that just sucks the I.Q. points out of your head. I firmly believe that you could get a group of Nobel-prize winning physicists together in a chat room, and within a few minutes they'd be talking about the smell of their farts and how they were going to kick each other's asses....”

“Fritz - Sounds like you found one of the better ones!”

“LOL! But seriously...those were Nobel-prize winning physicists?

Actually in the one case I mentioned, which happens to be a skin-cancer support group, we have had some great discussions. But again, we all "know" each other, it isn't really the same as a chat room.”

“I've always had a fantasy of kicking the crap out of a Nobel Prize winner. Especially the Peace Prize.”

“bitpusher..ahh..you've been to the al.com rooms i see. LMAO..
like i try to tell them..argueing on the internet is like the special olympics...even if you win your still retarded”

“I've been once or twice to those, but my usual den of iniquity is the Yahoo! chat rooms...

Not that there isn't plenty of stupid in those too.”

“TownDawg, why do you bother w/ the chatrooms in the first place? If you think the people in them are mainly disgusting fat pigs and bisexual liars, then you shouldn't hang out.”

“hmmm, if TD thinks people in chatrooms are disgusting fat pigs and bisexual liars,,,,,,and he hangs out in a chat room,,,,,,

j/k TD”

“I was just wondering.”

“newgirl: "TownDawg, why do you bother w/ the chatrooms in the first place?"

Who said I ever stepped foot in a chat room? I just happen to be good at writing fiction. :)

Seriously?.. I have wandered in and out of chat rooms for a couple years now.. curiously mostly.. wondering what sort of people actually go there.. It is SUCH a strange place.. It is like going to sodom and gamorrah for the afternoon.”

“Newgirl: One other thing? Chat rooms are the main reason why people FREAK out when they hear I always post all my hikes public, and invite ANYone who wants to go.

The people in chat rooms? Would never get their fatt butt out long enough to even know there IS a big beautiful world out there.

I have studied this long enough (seriously -- on a sociological and psychological level) that I have even broken them down into distinct groupings.”

“Newgirl: but enuff rant today. I am in a MUCH better mood!.. Things are actually starting to look favorable over here in MY life.

Anyways, how are you doing? I saw your post the other day. You sounded so bored and so stressed, all at the same time.”

“Newgirl: By the way, good to see you online some. I miss your EARLY rants.

*smiles warmly*

You were good at it!”

“TD- she just found out her internet date was a scary guy who lives down by the river in his van!”

“SHHHH!!!!!... dont tell her its me... j/k”

“You guys are too funny. I'm fine. Just gettin' a little small town blues is all. I'll figure out how to overcome it. I want to live here, this is just the occasional downside . . . very little social life.

TD, I wasn't trying to be a jerk about the chat rooms. I was just wondering.”

“Newgirl, if you have the small town blues, want to trade? I live 10 minutes from NYC, and am looking to move somewhere that's less of a rat race. At least everyone probably speaks the same frickin' language where you live!”

“I've lived in small towns and it is an issue. Sometimes I'd head out on a hike, even a day hike, and suddenly remember why I moved to a small town. The other medicine is to take a trip to a city for a weekend, maybe visit a museum or something. Fighting my way through the city traffic was usually enough to send my scurrying back to the small town.
Then I moved to the big city again for economic reasons and to be close to family. Now I would not mind getting back to Smallville.

"If you're not where you are, you're nowhere at all."
--Col. Sherman Potter, MASH”

“Artex, most of us speak the same language. There are a few who speak hillbilly and a few who speak slobbering drunk. No way on the trade, buddy. I would flip out if I live anywhere near NYC. Visiting would be okay. Also, the rat race moves at a snail pace here. You might like it.”

“Sounds like my kind of town! I only planning on living around here for another year or two tops.. then hello New England!”

“Personally, I think I'd love to live someplace like that. It goes well with my misanthropy. But my wife would never hear of it. Besides, I've already talked her into the Colorado Plan(TM).”

“Bit, I have a guy friend who's gf lives in New Orleans right now. She freaked out when he tried to get her to move up here. After she visited, she was all, "No God Damn Way." He's trying to decide if he likes the city mouse or if he needs to find a country mouse. LOL!”

“I think my wife's just afraid of the cold and the snow. That's why the Colorado Plan(TM) includes living Somewhere Else(TM) during the winter.”

“She could get used to it. It's not as bad as it seems. The last couple winters up here have been a joke anyway.”

“My bud's gf's prob. was the lack of shopping. I said, "You need to look for another chica."”

“That's being up front.”

“Lack of shopping?????

Yes, he needs another girlfriend.”

“Esp., 'cause he's a total country guy, grew up here, wants to stay here, has a woodworking business here. I was just giving him a straight opinion.”

“Yah, it sounds like he needs to join my club for men, the Don't Marry a Greedy B!tch Club.”

“lol”

“Heck fer my (next) wife id settle for low maintenance!”

“I'm lucky, I got low maintenance out of the chute....”

“Good deal Bit.”

“I have heard of online romaces working out fine. Others I imagine were not so fortunate. Especially if someone was untruthful. Perhaps her screenname gave us a clue. ToHot4you. It is obvious she has additional insulation. And is always hot and sweating.”

“No kidding, newgie. I'm REAL lucky. A high-maintenance woman would have left me by now. I have no natural ambition to climb the corporate ladder, I'm happy being a little worker bee...”

“stay away from anything with cat or kat in its name.....”

“like Cat Stevens. I heard she's a guy!”